Another Year Upon Us

Another year has come and gone. So much has happened this last year. My hope is the next year will be more peaceful and a lot less hectic. I have school worked out. I know I can find a job, or at least another one. I need to add workouts back into my life. I wasn't tired enough last year. The workouts are a requirement to my sanity.
Does anyone else feel like '06 simply flew by? It didn't even seem to take a breath, it just kept on going.

I want the merry-go-'round to stop for a bit so I can get off.
So, in '07, I vote we take a time out.

As death creeps in...

I have a new job. I am currently doing some time as a home health aid. Basically, this is sitting with people who are at death's door. But they haven't knocked yet. It is just to make sure that all of their needs are met at this crucial time.

And it is really sedentary.

I think our culture is afraid of death. Personally it is not death I fear but the incapacitation that often precedes death. That is what I fear.

Or worse, physical capacity coupled with mental incapacity. Such is the case with my mom, and grows more so every day. I think I would write myself a post-it note to remember to off myself in the event I loose my mind. Unlike my mom, I won't have 4-5 children to help look after me.

But, I diverge.

We covered “Death and Dying” in this last semester of nursing school. This is what I figured it would be like.

Even though the person I am sitting with has only medicaid and medicare, the establishment appears well run. Clean, clean smelling, and a friendly get-the-job-done staff makes the place appear quite nice. Caring for the elderly is a job that few people are cut out to do. I know I won't be doing it as a career path. But everyone deserves to be cared for up until death creeps in.

What did you get for Christmas this year?

For this year, my siblings and I went into together and bought my mom a GPS. We all agreed that her getting lost is becoming a problem and Mom also does not like it at all. Who would? You can't get home? No way.

So we bought a Garmin for her. It is a very basic model but it suites her purpose perfectly. I have already programed it and uploaded all the appropriate maps. Most importantly, I have programed “GO HOME” into it. Verbal directions at the touch of a button.

Perfect.

Discussion with siblings, Time- 45 minutes.

Purchase of GPS, $379

Mom never being brought home by the Dallas Police Department again,

Priceless!

Running: An Update

I have started running again. I am not getting enough exercise and energy expenditure, so running I go. I am also reading a great book on running, ChiRunning, by Danny Dryer. It is instruction on how to run with the principles of Tai Chi. It is great! I have been running for about 5 days now and I have no pain. Granted, I am not running a marathon, nor do I intend to, but normally after the first run, my knees hurt and I generally hurt all over. With this new form, there is no pain. For anyone who wants to run regularly, and without injury, I highly recommend this book. Form is the key; body lean, landing your feet behind you to be more like a wheel in motion instead of slamming your heel down then pushing off with your toes, and relaxation. Hey, I can do that.

And with so much to think about, all those pesky thoughts running through your head go away. You relax, swing your elbows, keep your column straight, lean, and viola! You are running. And you don't hurt.

The job hunt...

Yes, now that I have the first semester down, I need to find a job to actually continue to pay my bills. I have applied at three of the hospitals in the area and will follow-up tomorrow with them all. I hope to find something in an interesting field. Yeah, but job, income per se, is the goal. I have faith the right things will come along. You just have to be prepared.

My one goal is to try and avoid waiting tables.
But, whatever works....
We will see, it is all an adventure!!

One down (almost!) three to go...

Yes, next week is finals week! I tested in my final skills scenario check-off today and passed with a perfect score. Four our of hour, WooHoo!! I am having a blast at the nursing thing. I have two finals next week, one in lecture that I must do outstanding on to keep my scholarship and the other in skills lab. So far, so good.

I am enjoying all of this more than I thought possible. I really thought there would be more of the nursing stuff that I simply thought, "OK, just do this, get through it, and go on to the next thing." Surprisingly, I have yet to encounter this . I still have no real idea of what facet of nursing I will go into, but that is what rotations are for, right? That is my hope anyway.

One of my close friends who is a NICU nurse informed me the other day that she had decided on the field I should go into: Burn trauma unit. Her reasoning?

"Well, Lisa, you do whatever you need to do to keep your patient from coding (i.e. dying) and you have morphine in one pocket and more drugs in the other. After the crisis is over, you call the Dr and tell him what you did so he can write the order. Oh, and it doesn't really require lots of bedside manner...just your thing!"
I love Chrsity, even pod Christy.
I am glad she loves me....

So, wish me good vibes as I plow into finals week next week.

I did, actually feel sorta like a nurse last week. I got to do lots of education and the family of the patient I was with, wanted my help and I feel as though I was really helpful. It was nice.

It's all about who you wrap your love around...

To know or not to know...

If you do a good deed, should the person who benefits know about it?
Just food for thought...
If you do something that really improves another’s life, and they are completely unaware, should they come to know how that benefit befalls them?

Or is it better to do as the saying goes; random acts of kindness. Random indicating that the receiver is unaware or possibly undeserving. But doesn’t everyone deserve kindness?

Maybe it is better for the person benefiting to be oblivious. If they knew, would it change the meaning and gravity of the kindness? Is it a comfort to know that “someone out there” meant you well and you are incapable of returning the gift even if you wanted?

I firmly believe what you put into this world does come back to you. I do not believe in judging people, ostracizing them or interacting on a conditional basis with people. I also thoroughly believe that it is the responsibility of each person to be good to other people.

The ones that are hardest to love are the ones who need it the most.

Ever so true.

On the flip side, I think it is hard to gift someone with something or make someone’s life better without them understanding the how and the why or the journey that the deed required. We are human and humans tend to be self-centered in the respect of acknowledgement. I think it is important to make other people’s lives better even if they don’t now how it came to be, even if they don’t understand the investment.

It still improved life.
Is this not the point to it all?

Just a thought.
Just a question.

Gifts

So far, all the patients I have cared for have had wonderful family. Their kids or spouse or siblings have been there to help look after them and for emotional support.

I know I have blogged about this before, but there are two things in this world you should be most thankful for--thankful right down to your soul.

The fact that someone loves you and your health.

You can buy neither one. They are only gifts. The later of the two being luck of genetic reshuffeling.

Being loved by someone, is a gift both ways. Always love whom you love freely.

Your health, well, take care of what you have! Don't take it for granted, because when it is gone, it is really gone. With your health also goes lots of other things. Participation in life, judgment, courage and independence are the things that saddle up and ride away with you health.

fortunately, for the people I have interacted with so far, family is there ready and willing to take care of things. I know I will encounter those in the future that will not be so lucky.

Take care of yourself first. If you don't take care of you, then you can't take care of anyone else.

Clinical Scenario One

As the instructor breathes down your neck...

My first clinical scenario check off was Tuesday. It involved taking all the vitals; blood pressure, temperature, pulse and respirations. Every scenario involves a huge safety factor. Bed rails up, call button in reach, all that.

Having taught people marital arts for so long, and horse riding lessons, I am used to the teaching aspect that nursing requires. I was very relieved to find that I passed with excellent marks and comments from my instructor. I am really having lots of fun learning to be a nurse. Obviously there will be things I don't like, but I don't have to do these things forever, and all learning is good.

Sadly, many people in class did not pass. I think more than anything, it was the stress that got to them. I know they will all do better and most likely pass without any problem on their next try.
But the stress is the real deal. You gotta be able to tune it out, take control of your nervous system and get'r done!

Who knew I would use Tae Kwon Do and Tai Chi in such varied ways in my life.

Theory of Care

Here I am again in the Monday theory class of nursing. I am getting the feeling that I have had grooming for nursing school all my life. Today's big lecture is over therapeutic listening. How to listen, how to further conversations with patients and how to give feedback.

I have always thought listening was one of the key aspects of learning to be a person and learning to be a friend. I always thought it was a challenge to listen without harboring preconceived ideas or without having already formulated an "answer" ready for a stream of conversation that hasn't even happened yet. Listening for me is the art of mental stillness; yet the mind must stay completely alert. You have to be still and listen. Whether that be finding pulses on your patient or hearing the words your patient speaks. You have to listen in exactly the moment, you can't get ahead and you can't lag behind. You listen with all your self, all your senses. You also can't decide what is being said before the thoughts are being expressed If you do, you have stopped listening.

Then, what do you do with what you hear? I always like asking more questions.
I know that won't surprise most of you...

New experiences

For those of you who know me, you all know I don't talk about my personal life very much.

I became divorced last year. It has been an education for my about the world of single. I am very fine with my current status of "alone." As a matter of fact, I like it just fine. Not that I was married to a bad person, but just that it was the wrong place.

But I must comment on the single vs., married persona.

Most of my friends are still my friends. It has been a very few people who have suddenly decided that single equals not worthy of dealing with. But at large, being single does change the world as you interact with it.

The reactions of those around you are very interesting. There are those that want to 'hook you up' as soon as possible. These are great people, and well meaning, but it wasn't on my agenda. There are those people close to you who understand that there are things you need to deal with for you, so that in the event you inflict yourself on someone else, it will be ok. There are also those people who think you have suddenly contracted leprosy and cease talking to you as if leprosy is catching via the air.

I really don't care. It has just been interesting to experience. I did not know until now, how much of other people's perception of you was intertwined with your married or single status in life. I always liked people for who they were. It wasn't about who they were with or who they were married to. So initially, I didn't understand. Now I do.

It just goes to show I am not like other people. I am actually really happy about that. It is a little painful at times, but in the long run, it is good.

Having lived through this experience, I hope to always treat people as individuals first, and as partners second. People need to be identified as individuals first, as spouses or counterparts later.

It is really about taking care of those around you. The individual people.

It's a Small World

Well, nursing school proves to be a very small world. The patient I took care of this week was the father of someone I know. A very small world indeed.

So far I have learned quite a lot in school. We have covered how to take vitals, how to assess a patient; all of those clinical things. But what I find to be the most telling is the "reading between the lines" of nursing care. It isn't about what a patient tells you, it is about what they don't tell you that really matters. One of my challenges as a nurse is the difference in diagnosis between us nurses and doctors. I was worried for quite some time that I had made a poor choice on going to nursing school and not going to med school. I am good with my decision now. Nursing is about taking care of the whole person, doctoring is about caring for the disease. I like the whole person approach. I know I will specialize in some field of nursing, I am just not quite sure what yet. Regardless of what my specialty is, it will be the whole person I am concerned with, not just the disease.

Week One of Nursing School

I have survived week one of nursing school.
The major things we covered:

• Washing hands (yes there is a "right" way to do it)
• Legality of nursing liability
• Mastering the ability to calculate medications
• Attire

I am into the second week and it is more interesting. Bathing people, brushing people's teeth, generally giving basic care. I hope to learn these things and perform them the acquired number of times and NEVER have to do them again. Med-Surg nursing I doubt will be for me.

Still, I will need to know all these things.

Give me blood and guts anytime over dentures, flossing someone else's teeth and bed baths.

I will keep you posted on the progress!!

The beating that is moving...

I have now moved twice in three weeks. I do not recommend this to anyone.

But, I was offered a deal I could not refuse, so my housemate and I moved, yet again. We have both vowed we will not move again in less than two years. By then, I have also vowed to rid myself of any extraneous stuff.
This is the beginning list of things to purge:
Stuffed animals. Yes, even a 35 years of age, I still have a few. Some will never leave, that is just how it is.

Extra clothing. Does it breed in your closet? Where does it come from? I don't even really shop!!??!

Shoes, yes, painfully, shoes. I have several that I do not wear, and the new rule is, if I don't wear it, out it goes. (This just means I will need to buy more shoes...I AM female!!)

Garage stuff. Yes, stuff for the car, the motorcycle, garage stuff. I just need to stream line the garage.

I will keep the few major furniture pieces I have.

Things I will buy more of.
Wine.

Money for School

I attended the Collin County Foundation Scholarship Awards Ceremony this evening. I was prepared for a boring, yadda, yadda, yadda hoopla.
I was wrong. Happily so.
I received a foundation scholarship for the Fall and the Spring for my nursing school tuition. It isn't a huge sum, but free money is free money. The fun thing was checking on my bill for my tuition and finding that I had a $43 amount owed to me for books. Rock on.

One semester paid for, three to go.

The ceremony itself was really well run and very interesting. The officials from the school did an excellent job in keeping the speeches succinct and yet interesting. No one nodded off, not even the donors!

The one thing that showed through: the enthusiasm for education.
A nursing program graduate spoke about her experience at the school. She is a living illustration of what an education, at any level, can do for your self esteem, your future and the future of your children. She also had been a recipient of several of the grants and aid programs Collin County offers. And it paid off. She and her husband, who had just returned from Iraq, were now able to send their kids to school.
What a difference.
Truly, knowledge is power.
An education is the one strength everyone has the ability to possess. With the programs that are available, you can still get it done.

Education is worth every penny because the price of ignorance is astronomical.

Australia!

I did have a great time in Australia. I will write more later, and have pictures.

Suffice it to say the highlight of the trip was diving with Minke Whales.
Spiritual...

I have now completed the check list....

After this morning, I have completed all the errors associated with being a new motorcyclist.

1. Droping your bike from a standstill-left side.
2. Dropping your bike from a standstill- right side.
3. "Hugging" the pavement at (albeit very small) speed.
4. Having to have bike repaired.
5. Acquring a nail in the tire.
6. And the finale: Running out of gas.

I think I am done with the Bike error list!!

But I still totally love it!

I Almost Died Today

I was west bound on I-190 today. Well, for most of the time.

There was moderate traffic, nothing too congested and everyone was going fairly swiftly, about 60-70mph. I then realized that someone was getting really close to me on the right side. Right flush even almost.
Don’t you see me? I am electric blue for god’s sake!
I sat on the horn and braked to give them time to react.
Then I came to the realization that they were not stopping and I was about to be smushed.
In a big way.
At 70mph with lots of other cars.

Mistake #1:
I didn’t quite get the foot off the brake before steering into the lane next to me. So my car began fish-tailing severely. I couldn’t accelerate out of the fish-tail because there were cars in front and I knew I wouldn’t straighten up before I hit them. I kept driving as best I could but I then ended up facing east but still traveling west staring at all the other drivers trying to avoid me.
It is a very unsettling feeling; watching people coming at you, trying to avoid you, while still going away from them.

I decided that if I was going to get in a wreck, I wanted to be hit from behind or on the side, so I gave the wheel another tiny squeeze and 360 degrees later I was heading the right way on 190. Or would that be 540 degrees?

I finally regained control still going about 45mph in the far left lane. No one was hurt, and I have no idea how I missed everyone or how they missed me.
Amazing.

The one tension breaker occurred as I entered the highway again, having driven on the shoulder long enough to know my car was OK. I man in a ford 150 rolled down his window and gave me a VERY enthusiastic “thumbs up.”

I am so glad my near death experience was entertainment for someone.

He really enjoyed the show.

I have a new appreciation for how my car handles and how well put-together that little Subaru is. I think anything else would have flipped once it got sideways at 60mph. The all wheel drive is an attribute I will require from now on.

I love my car. I think in anything else, I would have been in a horrible wreck.

Let’s hope I don’t have to do that on my motorcycle.
Ever.

One More Class Down, 4 Semesters to go!

I finished my Developmental Psychology class...finally! It felt as though it would never end. I am glad to have the next few weeks off before I start my statistics class. Yes, I still have to take statistics. It shouldn't be bad at all.

Then it will be the foray into nursing school! I know it will go quickly but it is still going to be tough. I have survived worse. After that, an RN will allow many possibilities.

Such excitement!

Thought of the Day

I went to lunch with one of my brothers the other day. This statement came up in conversation:

Don't marry someone you can live with, marry someone you discover you cannot live without.

I thought it was very profound. We can live with lots of things in our lives, but typically those things come and go. Our mate, our partner, should be the one element we find non-negotiable in our lives.

Sage advice.