Round Two...

I am back at school as of today! Semester Two is underway and we jumped in with both feet practicing inserting Foley catheters. Next week, Nasogastric tubes, then our first scenario check off for this semester. The whirlwind of class is underway.

I am happy to be back. After this semester, I will actually be half way through. I will take the summer to work and restock the funds, and then on into the final stretch. Then I can attempt to have an adult life again.

Although I am having fun right now. I took this last semester and did school only, no job. Having worked since I was 12, this was quite a treat. I must admit, I don't think I was busy enough last semester, so a job is just what the doctor ordered. I will let you know what I end up with, as I am pretty open-minded. My roomie suggested Bone Daddys and now having went there for lunch (the ribs were great!) there is no way on earth I could work there. I require more clothing than that to be at work. Call me old fashioned....

Anyway, I am sure the right thing will come along. It just has to include a reasonable amount of clothing...

Home!!

We did actually catch our plane and get to come back to Dallas. Not so for the other half of our group, as their flights were canceled. They had to stay over night another day. But they should be on their plane and on their way home.

I must say, after the bunk beds we had to stay in, my bed never felt so amazing! I stretched out in the middle of my bed and loved the fact that it was,um, COMFORTABLE!!

No more sleeping on the couch because of discomfort or the lack of ability to climb into my top bunk bed. That hurt shoulder kept me couch bound a night!

Home is good!

Irony...

Well, we are one day away from leaving Denver. And the irony of the whole deal is we may be stuck in Denver because of weather in Dallas!!

How ridiculous is that? We get iced out of Dallas? Who woulda thunk??

My classes start on Tuesday, so I have to find a way to be back in Dallas by then. Please, let us board our airplane home! Staying in the airport overnight just does not sound good at all. But we will do whatever we need to.

Overall, this has been a really great week of snowboarding, pain, drinking, fun and more pain. Did I mention pain? I love to learn new things even at the expense of physical comfort. The scenery here is so stunning. We were blessed with new snow this past night. I want to go boarding again, but I am going to err on the side of caution and be worthless today. Really I think I will just walk around and take pictures of the beautiful snow.

Hope to see you all in Dallas by Sunday evening!!

Finally!!

Well today snowboarding finally came together!

OK, I still suck at it, but I can actually tie my turns together and stop and negotiate terrain.

Vast improvement.

I only boarded half a day today to take it easy, I didn't want to over do it. I did fall another time on my hurt shoulder, but it was not as bad nor as painful. Still not good though.

All in all, snowboarding is much harder to get than skiing. I really love the snowboarding but I do not know if I will ever be comfortable going down the mountain at break-neck speed sideways....

I may go back to skiing. The side-ways thing was more than I had anticipated. Still, I do like it. I would give it another go-'round to see if I can get more comfortable sideways before I bag it and go back to skiing.

If I go back to skiing I will invest in my own knee braces and have fun!!

The baptism is complete...

One of my fellow snowboarders stated, “Snowboarding is a baptism is pain.” Well, after today, the baptism is complete.

I had to cut my snowboarding short today. I was getting back into it and then, caught the wrong edge and got bitch-slapped into the snow, on my back only with my left arm to be caught behind me. I managed to not dislocate my shoulder, my left shoulder, you know, the one that actually functions fully, but I did wrench it badly. Having a high tolerance to pain and not prone to crying at all, I was on the verge of tears.

A few deep breaths later and I had a grip again. But, yeah, I was done for the the day. I had to ride over to the Sunspot lodge to meet up for lunch. And of course, I then put most of the snowboarding pieces together. Yes, I was able to keep my board headed down the mountain and could catch my toe and heel edge as needed. I just couldn't move my left arm.

So, I took the pantywaist way down the mountain via the lift, and retired to the house.

Physical assessment:
Both knees black and blue
Wrenched left shoulder
Ass several unnatural colors

Yes, the baptism is complete.

And will I get up and go snowboarding again.

Yes.

My masochistic little self still wants to master the board.

Fear that Creeps in...

This is one of the things that I hate MOST about aging and one of the things that I am most fiercely battling to overcome.

Fear.

When did it creep in? Why does it creep in? What is it about being early to mid 30's that suddenly makes you resistant to doing new things? Is it only women that have this or do men reach a point too?

I love new things.

So why the fear associated with that?

I was speaking to woman on the ski lift about this subject. She was newly 40, and her two kids were in snowboarding lessons. She decided to learn with them and thus she was in my adult class. We talked briefly about how it was “now or never” for her about learning this new sport. We both hated the fear that seems to just settle in and exist inside your psyche.

I realize that always in life, the true battle rages within.

This is definitely in that category.

I will continue my raging battle with this entity and I know I will overcome it. I did today on the slopes.

I did also with my motorcycle as I was fairly terrified when I first got Moose. But holy crap I love that bike. And although I have a healthy fear when riding, it is of the other drivers, not of my bike.

Fear can be overcome and I don't want it or anything else to limit my life that way.

I am just not ready to roll over and give up.

Fear, be banished!

When everything is willing except the ass....

OK, my second day of snowboarding is here and done. I wanted to keep going but the ass was unwilling. My hips are blue and purple after today. Ouch.

The crazy thing is, I will be doing the same thing tomorrow!!

After lunch today, I switched my feet. I changed my bindings (the things that strap your feet to the board) from “Goofy foot” (Right foot forward) to Regular or left foot forward. What a huge difference!! I can steer so much better! I am now having a bit of a problem with the toe edge, hence the SPECTACULAR flip and hip plant that I actually got applause for. Make that two hip-plants but only one complete with flip and applause...

Thus the bruised hips.

Fortunately, from my martial arts, I have managed to fall on my hips and not my tail bone. I am hoping to keep that going. A hurt tail bone would be really bad.

It is amazing that anything that hurts this bad is still so fun!! And yeah baby, it is painful. But what really good stuff isn't? Anything that is worth doing does come with a price. Sometimes it is bruises. Other times it hurts differently....

I think snowboarding is really worth learning and thus the price is some pain.

OK, a lot of pain.

But hey, it's fun!!

Winter Park Day Two

So I took my snowboard lessons this morning and really enjoyed them. I spent the afternoon practicing my heel and toe edge. After much falling and one spectacular face-plant, I feel like I am doing much better.

Snowboarding is so very much like motorcycle riding. You have to look where you want to go. It is intuitive in that way. If you aren't looking there you are truly not going to go there! So the deal is, equally distribute your weight between both feet, look in the direction you want to go and your hips and shoulders will follow. If you don't have enough momentum, focus more of your weight a bit on the front leg, then you will go more fluidly forward. Don't lean down the mountain!! You will catch an edge and BAM, either a butt plant or a face plant depending on the edge you are on. Not good...

Really, I found snowboarding more to my liking and ability than skiing. The fact that both legs are attached to the same thing is a comfort to me. Snowboarding uses my flexibility and balance even more than skiing. Snowboarding is harder in some ways, but I found it more conducive to the abilities I have.

I love snowboarding!!

My goal now is to just practice and get better at it.

Oh, and not injure myself horribly in the process!!

Hot tub, here I come!!

Winter Park,Colorado

It is another year of skiing! This year the gang is at Winter Park. We are in a huge house and everyone has settled in. Pictures will follow in the next week, I am sure. I am just happy to have this one last reprieve before school starts!

Another Year Upon Us

Another year has come and gone. So much has happened this last year. My hope is the next year will be more peaceful and a lot less hectic. I have school worked out. I know I can find a job, or at least another one. I need to add workouts back into my life. I wasn't tired enough last year. The workouts are a requirement to my sanity.
Does anyone else feel like '06 simply flew by? It didn't even seem to take a breath, it just kept on going.

I want the merry-go-'round to stop for a bit so I can get off.
So, in '07, I vote we take a time out.

As death creeps in...

I have a new job. I am currently doing some time as a home health aid. Basically, this is sitting with people who are at death's door. But they haven't knocked yet. It is just to make sure that all of their needs are met at this crucial time.

And it is really sedentary.

I think our culture is afraid of death. Personally it is not death I fear but the incapacitation that often precedes death. That is what I fear.

Or worse, physical capacity coupled with mental incapacity. Such is the case with my mom, and grows more so every day. I think I would write myself a post-it note to remember to off myself in the event I loose my mind. Unlike my mom, I won't have 4-5 children to help look after me.

But, I diverge.

We covered “Death and Dying” in this last semester of nursing school. This is what I figured it would be like.

Even though the person I am sitting with has only medicaid and medicare, the establishment appears well run. Clean, clean smelling, and a friendly get-the-job-done staff makes the place appear quite nice. Caring for the elderly is a job that few people are cut out to do. I know I won't be doing it as a career path. But everyone deserves to be cared for up until death creeps in.

What did you get for Christmas this year?

For this year, my siblings and I went into together and bought my mom a GPS. We all agreed that her getting lost is becoming a problem and Mom also does not like it at all. Who would? You can't get home? No way.

So we bought a Garmin for her. It is a very basic model but it suites her purpose perfectly. I have already programed it and uploaded all the appropriate maps. Most importantly, I have programed “GO HOME” into it. Verbal directions at the touch of a button.

Perfect.

Discussion with siblings, Time- 45 minutes.

Purchase of GPS, $379

Mom never being brought home by the Dallas Police Department again,

Priceless!

Running: An Update

I have started running again. I am not getting enough exercise and energy expenditure, so running I go. I am also reading a great book on running, ChiRunning, by Danny Dryer. It is instruction on how to run with the principles of Tai Chi. It is great! I have been running for about 5 days now and I have no pain. Granted, I am not running a marathon, nor do I intend to, but normally after the first run, my knees hurt and I generally hurt all over. With this new form, there is no pain. For anyone who wants to run regularly, and without injury, I highly recommend this book. Form is the key; body lean, landing your feet behind you to be more like a wheel in motion instead of slamming your heel down then pushing off with your toes, and relaxation. Hey, I can do that.

And with so much to think about, all those pesky thoughts running through your head go away. You relax, swing your elbows, keep your column straight, lean, and viola! You are running. And you don't hurt.

The job hunt...

Yes, now that I have the first semester down, I need to find a job to actually continue to pay my bills. I have applied at three of the hospitals in the area and will follow-up tomorrow with them all. I hope to find something in an interesting field. Yeah, but job, income per se, is the goal. I have faith the right things will come along. You just have to be prepared.

My one goal is to try and avoid waiting tables.
But, whatever works....
We will see, it is all an adventure!!

One down (almost!) three to go...

Yes, next week is finals week! I tested in my final skills scenario check-off today and passed with a perfect score. Four our of hour, WooHoo!! I am having a blast at the nursing thing. I have two finals next week, one in lecture that I must do outstanding on to keep my scholarship and the other in skills lab. So far, so good.

I am enjoying all of this more than I thought possible. I really thought there would be more of the nursing stuff that I simply thought, "OK, just do this, get through it, and go on to the next thing." Surprisingly, I have yet to encounter this . I still have no real idea of what facet of nursing I will go into, but that is what rotations are for, right? That is my hope anyway.

One of my close friends who is a NICU nurse informed me the other day that she had decided on the field I should go into: Burn trauma unit. Her reasoning?

"Well, Lisa, you do whatever you need to do to keep your patient from coding (i.e. dying) and you have morphine in one pocket and more drugs in the other. After the crisis is over, you call the Dr and tell him what you did so he can write the order. Oh, and it doesn't really require lots of bedside manner...just your thing!"
I love Chrsity, even pod Christy.
I am glad she loves me....

So, wish me good vibes as I plow into finals week next week.

I did, actually feel sorta like a nurse last week. I got to do lots of education and the family of the patient I was with, wanted my help and I feel as though I was really helpful. It was nice.

It's all about who you wrap your love around...

To know or not to know...

If you do a good deed, should the person who benefits know about it?
Just food for thought...
If you do something that really improves another’s life, and they are completely unaware, should they come to know how that benefit befalls them?

Or is it better to do as the saying goes; random acts of kindness. Random indicating that the receiver is unaware or possibly undeserving. But doesn’t everyone deserve kindness?

Maybe it is better for the person benefiting to be oblivious. If they knew, would it change the meaning and gravity of the kindness? Is it a comfort to know that “someone out there” meant you well and you are incapable of returning the gift even if you wanted?

I firmly believe what you put into this world does come back to you. I do not believe in judging people, ostracizing them or interacting on a conditional basis with people. I also thoroughly believe that it is the responsibility of each person to be good to other people.

The ones that are hardest to love are the ones who need it the most.

Ever so true.

On the flip side, I think it is hard to gift someone with something or make someone’s life better without them understanding the how and the why or the journey that the deed required. We are human and humans tend to be self-centered in the respect of acknowledgement. I think it is important to make other people’s lives better even if they don’t now how it came to be, even if they don’t understand the investment.

It still improved life.
Is this not the point to it all?

Just a thought.
Just a question.

Gifts

So far, all the patients I have cared for have had wonderful family. Their kids or spouse or siblings have been there to help look after them and for emotional support.

I know I have blogged about this before, but there are two things in this world you should be most thankful for--thankful right down to your soul.

The fact that someone loves you and your health.

You can buy neither one. They are only gifts. The later of the two being luck of genetic reshuffeling.

Being loved by someone, is a gift both ways. Always love whom you love freely.

Your health, well, take care of what you have! Don't take it for granted, because when it is gone, it is really gone. With your health also goes lots of other things. Participation in life, judgment, courage and independence are the things that saddle up and ride away with you health.

fortunately, for the people I have interacted with so far, family is there ready and willing to take care of things. I know I will encounter those in the future that will not be so lucky.

Take care of yourself first. If you don't take care of you, then you can't take care of anyone else.

Clinical Scenario One

As the instructor breathes down your neck...

My first clinical scenario check off was Tuesday. It involved taking all the vitals; blood pressure, temperature, pulse and respirations. Every scenario involves a huge safety factor. Bed rails up, call button in reach, all that.

Having taught people marital arts for so long, and horse riding lessons, I am used to the teaching aspect that nursing requires. I was very relieved to find that I passed with excellent marks and comments from my instructor. I am really having lots of fun learning to be a nurse. Obviously there will be things I don't like, but I don't have to do these things forever, and all learning is good.

Sadly, many people in class did not pass. I think more than anything, it was the stress that got to them. I know they will all do better and most likely pass without any problem on their next try.
But the stress is the real deal. You gotta be able to tune it out, take control of your nervous system and get'r done!

Who knew I would use Tae Kwon Do and Tai Chi in such varied ways in my life.

Theory of Care

Here I am again in the Monday theory class of nursing. I am getting the feeling that I have had grooming for nursing school all my life. Today's big lecture is over therapeutic listening. How to listen, how to further conversations with patients and how to give feedback.

I have always thought listening was one of the key aspects of learning to be a person and learning to be a friend. I always thought it was a challenge to listen without harboring preconceived ideas or without having already formulated an "answer" ready for a stream of conversation that hasn't even happened yet. Listening for me is the art of mental stillness; yet the mind must stay completely alert. You have to be still and listen. Whether that be finding pulses on your patient or hearing the words your patient speaks. You have to listen in exactly the moment, you can't get ahead and you can't lag behind. You listen with all your self, all your senses. You also can't decide what is being said before the thoughts are being expressed If you do, you have stopped listening.

Then, what do you do with what you hear? I always like asking more questions.
I know that won't surprise most of you...

New experiences

For those of you who know me, you all know I don't talk about my personal life very much.

I became divorced last year. It has been an education for my about the world of single. I am very fine with my current status of "alone." As a matter of fact, I like it just fine. Not that I was married to a bad person, but just that it was the wrong place.

But I must comment on the single vs., married persona.

Most of my friends are still my friends. It has been a very few people who have suddenly decided that single equals not worthy of dealing with. But at large, being single does change the world as you interact with it.

The reactions of those around you are very interesting. There are those that want to 'hook you up' as soon as possible. These are great people, and well meaning, but it wasn't on my agenda. There are those people close to you who understand that there are things you need to deal with for you, so that in the event you inflict yourself on someone else, it will be ok. There are also those people who think you have suddenly contracted leprosy and cease talking to you as if leprosy is catching via the air.

I really don't care. It has just been interesting to experience. I did not know until now, how much of other people's perception of you was intertwined with your married or single status in life. I always liked people for who they were. It wasn't about who they were with or who they were married to. So initially, I didn't understand. Now I do.

It just goes to show I am not like other people. I am actually really happy about that. It is a little painful at times, but in the long run, it is good.

Having lived through this experience, I hope to always treat people as individuals first, and as partners second. People need to be identified as individuals first, as spouses or counterparts later.

It is really about taking care of those around you. The individual people.