To Write or not?

I have been toying with the idea of writing; letters, short stories, maybe a novel (one day). I have always thought writing would be somewhat "taboo" for me as my writing has always been so poor. That whole failing English twice before I passed it did nothing for my confidence either. This is why I originally began blogging. To learn to better express myself with written word. Well, also to improve my grammar. I have given up on spelling. When you grow up with words like, "growed" and "yellur" (insert yellow), it is easy to understand how writing and speaking properly would be a challenge.

At any rate, I am reading, learning and beginning to amass ideas and story-lines for a would be book. Maybe a short story first....but I am really thinking about it.
I am going to try. I mean really try it out! My chosen genre is a little interesting, but I think it will be an adventure!

On to the next one...

Well, the housing bid fell through as it had foundation issues and we could not come to an agreement on who pays to fix it.
Heavy sigh...
They won't be able to get rid of it b/c a mortgage co., won't write a note on a house with foundation damage.

Well, there are plenty out there!
Onward!

Holiday Wish

For this holiday I wish everyone:

Health - for it is priceless and cannot be gifted
Warmth - In the heart, in the home and in the house!
Friendship - A blessing we just seem to miss the importance of until you find an old friend..or a new one!
Love - It adds such meaning to life and those who possess it unconditionally for those around them
Contentment - Contentment in what you have, where you are, and where you want to head to
The capacity to learn - it sure beats the hell out of re-inventing the wheel and it is a lot less painful

Happy holidays!!

Haivng a cold blows!

It does it blows! All the time...You blow your nose and then you blow your nose again....
It blows!!

Housing continued...

I bid on a house today. A foreclosure, a great deal and it will make perfect rental property when I move on. At just shy of 1200 sqft, it is the perfect size for me! I will know if all goes well and the offer is accepted in a few days. The price is so great, even with all taxes, insurance and mortgage, it will be more than $200 less than my rent.
Amazing.

My Realtor states that 1 in 10 homes will foreclose in 2009. That's the estimate.
Very scary...
However, a feeding frenzy for investors.

At any rate, this will begin my real estate investing. My goal would be to purchase one more before the end of 2009.
We will see....

I am scared, excited, cautious and curious. What will I learn next?? I have wanted to do this for a very long time and have spent quite a lot of energy getting ready to do this.

Well, here I go!

If Alzheimer's had form...

I wish Alzheimer's had physical form,
Then I could smash it and hit it with large sticks,
Tar and feather,
Draw and quarter,
I could lash it to a large, wild beast,
so that it would be swept away with the beast's wild running.
I could incinerate it,
scatter the ashes far and wide,
there by disseminating its evil far, far away
into minuscule pieces,
no longer dangerous to anything or anyone.
I could jump up and down on it with both feet.
Squashing it flat,
stomping it to bits.
I could make it go away, release my anger and free my mom from its vicious grasp.
If only Alzheimer's were corporeal.
These are all things things I could do.

No Warm and Fuzzy

I have found that my house feels a little, well, lonely. I am really starting to miss not having a pet. My fish are great, but there is no warm and fuzzy with the little guys. I don't think I will be getting a pet until I am in a house as opposed to an apartment, but I still miss a pet at home.

Until I move into a house, I will have to visit my BF's kitty's. They are a very good substitute!!

Pets bring so much to our lives. Yes, some of what they bring includes hair, occasional vomit or "accidents" but little trouble in comparison to the joy and love they give unconditionally.

Holidays

I hope everyone is enjoying the holidays with friends and family. Although I have never been crazy about this time of year, I am having fun relaxing and working. I do love the weather this time of the year brings. The cool is excellent for camping and one of my favorites...skiing and snowboarding! We will be going again in January for my fourth year in a row.

As for the working part, I work all the holidays this year. Yes, this time around it is by choice, but it will make for a really nice paycheck! My family hasn't celebrated holidays on the actually day in many years, so it is really a non-issue. So far it is proving to be a quiet, easy going holiday season.

I have done almost all of my shopping on line and shipped the gifts. The others I have made. Some of the home made ones were food, others were sewn things. Definitely the way to go.

I hope everyone is happy, well, and enjoying life!
Happy Holidays!

Why don't you have time to go see the MD?

In follow up to my post about not ignoring symptoms of a stroke, I got to thinking...

Why do people put off going to the Doc? Why do we say, "I don't have time," or, "It's probably nothing"? Where does that attitude come from; we don't have time to look after our health or we can't go to the doctor?

I really think that culture, that attitude, comes from our lack of available, universal health care and how driven we are for our jobs.

First of all, in other countries, annual physicals are required, you are scheduled time off for them. How does that simple fact affect attitudes? I would think it would make people more aware that their health is important, not to mention finding very treatable afflictions early on.

Often times I think people are worried that if they a) take off work (maybe not get paid) to go the doctor, and b) pay the ridiculous costs of an office visit, oh and c) waste an even more obscene amount of time waiting for your appointment - and then it was nothing.....Well, then you have wasted loads of $$ and your time and lost time from work.

Wow, you just made yourself sicker....

We have a culture in the US that work is so all important. For many, as hourly workers, it IS all important. It they don't work, their families don't eat. Even for those who have insurance and sick days, going to the doctor means your co-workers have already sent you home b/c they think you contagious.

Would it be different if we could go to the doctor, be seen and know it would be a more reasonable cost?
Would we look after our health more and our jobs just slightly less if our work/employers had the attitude of forcing us to go get physicals?

I do personally believe that the attitude of health and going to the doc would be better if health care was a given, not a gift through our employer or some other grace. I also think that people would look after their health more if they also thought medications needed could be had without selling your children on the black market to pay for said meds. I have already had folks in my unit who confessed to stopping blood pressure meds b/c they had a hard time paying for them.

The expense to our society as a whole and those individuals personally will be so much greater now that the person literally 'blew a gasket' and leaked blood all over their brain and are never going to be the same. The meds would have been oh so much cheaper...

Things to never ignore

There is one consist thing I have seen and heard so far in the neuro-icu:
"My right hand hasn't worked right for a day or two."
"I couldn't make the words come out since this morning."
"Dad seemed 'off' since Sunday." It being one week later, now.

People, when you or your loved one starts to behave slightly funny or a body part does not seem to work like it is supposed to, GO TO THE ER.
Don't wait. Dont' avoid. Don't be afraid of what it really means.

In the case of a clot (ischemic stroke), it has a very good chance of being reversed if you begin treatment within 3-6 hrs of onset of signs and symptoms.

A bleed in the brain (hemorrhagic stroke) can get worse or simply not heal and keep leaking, causing more and more damage.

Don't ignore subtle signs. If Mom or Dad seem a little "off," quiz them; Date? Day of week? Year? Names of loved ones? What was for breakfast? The answers should be pretty swift and accurate.

Just FYI...

"No I don't use no alcohol"

We wondered why the patient was so concerned with where her purse is. It is kind of common that the older ladies are very concerned with where there purse is. To prevent anxiety, we usually give them their purse. This night was interesting. After wondering why her blood pressure was still so very low, we decided to go through the purse.
Things found in patient's purse:

• 1/5 of whiskey
• 4 different bottles of narcotics
• laxatives
• Extra strength tylenol

Needless to say, when she went into respiratory distress, Narcan became our best friend as she was over dosed.

Note to self: Remove belongings from patient's reach and monitor access.

Never underestimate the cute little old ladies

Go Vote!!

I voted in early voting today. There were already crowds, thus my suggestion is to vote early if you can.

I think this year it will be a hot election. I must say, the electronic voting let me a little wary. How do I know those electronics won't be tinkered with? How are votes counted if the electronic system goes awry?
I have to look up the systems and back up systems that are in place to ease my fears.

My civic duty, however is done!
Go Vote!!
Whatever your beliefs and thoughts are, at least express them!
Vote!!

The Taking of Pills

I have become increasingly interested in how people swallow pills. I know, I know, a weird topic, but one that is integral to every part of my working day.

Some people take one at a time or even require the pill be cut up. Others take the whole bucket at once and knock back the lot, and, with a upward jerk of the head and a large mouth full of beverage, down those pills go! It is as if their gullet just opens up!

There are also the ones in between (this is me as well) who can take about 2-3 at at time with enough beverage.

Do throats come in sizes?? Are some blessed with this pelican-like gullet that accepts anything? While others of us have narrow throats and can't swallow anything?

It is just interesting to watch how people take their meds. I am now trying to guess; is she a head jerker, take-all-at-once kinda gal or is he a "please cut it up into 4's" kinda guy. You just never know!

Anxiety

I found this interesting article at CNN.com on anxiety and its relation to the fluctuating economic times.
Really??
I know that anxiety and other psychological problems are real and valid, but have we become a nation that cannot withstand any imperfection or "bumps in the road" of life? Sometimes life is really hard. You have to figure out how to deal with it and get on with it.
So many people seem unable to do that.
Why?
On the same note, I worry so much about our current generation; they thing they have to have new cars and the top designer items right now. All the girls have expensive handbags and perfect, manicured nails - they are about 12 years old....

What happens when they don't get what they want later in life as so often happens in real life?
With no coping skills, it will be a hard fall.

I think that is a big part of the problem, no coping skills, no "life skills." So many turn to medication. Medication helps, helps you get through the tough part. Without truly addressing the problem - what caused you to need the meds in the first place - it will never improve.
The injury is still under the bandaid...
Our nation faces several problems, many of which are our own making (buying houses we knew we could not afford) and those that simply befall us. Bad things do happen to good people.
It's what we do with the bad things that makes the difference, makes us who we are.
Even as a nation.

Unexpected Neighbors

As I was putting boxes into the storage closet off my balcony, I saw a wasp on one of my patio chairs. As I have an unreasonable, unrealistic fear of things that fly and sting - a behavior learned from my mom- I was deeply concerned to find that 6 wasps have decided my balcony light fixture is now home.
As horrified as I am of these little neighbors, I have been watching them regularly through my patio sliding door.
They really are fascinating. Watching them communicate and groom their antennas is so very interesting.
What I should do is go out there and spray them with the most vile wasp spray I can find and yet all I seem to be able to do is stand and watch as they do their little wasp-y things.
The scientist in me seems to have won for the moment.
Question 1: It is soon to be too cold for them to do much, why are they re-homing now?
Question 2: What species are they as I do not recognize them? (pictures to follow when I get the nerve up to get that close)
Question 3: Why MY balcony?
Question 4: Is there some scent or olfactory mechanism I can use to make them go away? In light of the fact I don't want to kill them now that I have watched them for several days??

I will keep you posted on what the outcome is.

Home is where the heart is

I have finally moved into my place. When your stuff was in four places, it takes forever to move. Finally, I have most all my stuff here at the apt and unpacked. It was like Christmas---"I own that??!! Wow, I totally forgot I had that!!"
Home could not be nicer. Living alone is nice, I don't want to do it forever, but for now it is great. I can cook how I want, run around naked or whatever I decide to do. The fish tank is up and running but no fish as of yet. I will be off to the pond store soon for new fishy friends. Both the bike and the car are happily settled into the garage. I think my BF's bike is lonely, as my bike was living in his garage, but the bikes see each other often as do he and I!
I feel like an adult again!

Shift Change

My internship is officially over! Yippee! However, I was politely asked if I would be interested in night-shift as I was originally hired for days. I thought, why not - the money will be nice and let's see if I like it. If it really sucks I have a day position I can have back. We will see.

I start this Friday and Saturday night. I have always kinda been a night owl so maybe this will be better than I think. Having had to get up at 0500 for the last several months, I am trying to transition this week. Wish me luck. I will have to find things to do in the night time I am not at work!

A New Beginning

When I started martial arts almost 10 years ago, I was told the learning does not start until after the black belt. No statement could be more true.

I had my first sword lesson yesterday and wow, I know nothing. I am a little sore and very happy about adding an obsession! ;-)
As my living arrangements settle down, I hope to keep adding back to the exercise. Studying sword is something I have wanted for a long time. It will take a lifetime to not cut off my own arm while drawing, but I am willing to put in the time. It is obvious to me sword will encompass all aspects of the other arts I have studied.

I have to discover where I will train for empty hand. I will not be returning to my former school, I just have to decide where to go and what to do.
A completely new discipline?
Similar discipline, new school?
I don't know yet.
I will be trying to return to the weapons class as a whole, I love the weapons. The empty hand will take a bit of figuring out. I am sure the right thing will come along.

Lessons From the Green Channel

I was at my BF's house (he has cable and a TV - two things I don't have) and we watched the Green Channel. It is all about going green and how to do little things to reduce your environmental foot print.
One thing really hit home with me. Mail. Junk Mail.
It showed this one family how much junk mail they get in one year. Mostly this junk mail consisted of catalogs. It was staggering - a wall of catalogs about 6ft tall, 2ft wide and about 8 ft long. Amazing! The discussion illustrated how much trash and land fill you can reduce by discontinuing your junk mail.

I started to do just that. Every time I get a catalog in the mail, I call and D/C it being sent to me.
I realized that I use the catalogs as entertainment; to sit mindlessly and flip thru the pages. Why do I do that? And a better question, why was I a teeny bit sad that this catalog was no longer going to greet me from my mailbox?
The power of advertising. The power of getting something with your name on it! Remember when you were a kid and you got that first piece of mail that was addressed to you? That feeling? I think that is what keeps us wanting this extraneous mail to just keep showing up in the mail box.
Crazy...
Well, I am trying to cut down on the trash! No more catalogs for me.
It's not like I shop any way!
Do the environment a favor, get rid of the crap in your life. No more extra crap!

I still dislike house hunting

My strange gift continues to get houses sold, just not in my favor. I have bid on more houses, all to be sold or under contract or the sellers want to negotiate some other things not initially discussed. I know why that one was on the market for 160 days!!

I put a deposit on an apartment today and will be moving this Friday unless some unforeseen house miracle occurs.
Heavy sigh....

I guess the house buying will have to wait for a bit...