A New Kind of Dating

I have a very close friend who has become very involved with someone online. She met him through an online sports organization she is very active in. She has friends whom she used to live close to and hang out with that are a part of this organization. So, they have mutual friends who know the two of them. Thus, they got to chatting in the discussion rooms and things moved on and on...

With the mutual friends involved, they both know the other is truthful in their discussions. They are now madly in love and will be meeting soon for the very first time in person. We are all excited for them.

This brings an interesting point that my friend and I have discussed at length. We have compared and contrasted the traditional meeting of prospective dates and the now more "cyber" meetings that are becoming more and more common.

It is interesting. In my friend's situation, they know they are both being honest because of mutual friends. So we limit our discussion to this type of meeting. I know there are zillions of people out there who are not honest on line.

On one hand, you are open and honest with less chance of being misunderstood or having your body language be deleterious to your being understood. You can assess whether you and the person you are talking with are on the same page. You can let the discussion ramble as it wishes. Email or chat also allows something else; the ability to ponder things and respond later. There is no one to force you into answering when you aren't ready, you just email back later.

You also wait. You get to know each other on a different level, in a different way. The biology behind physically meeting and interacting with someone is removed. And for anyone having met someone they are overwhelmingly attracted to, you know how distracting and overpowering that biology is. So your head is clearer. If there is a real attraction even on line, the head doesn't stay clear for long!

For people who are honest and open and interested in discovering another person, on line "meeting" can be a good thing I think.

Granted, there still has to be chemistry when you do finally meet, but even if there isn't, you have cultivated a valuable relationship and learned a great deal. Not just learned about another person, but about yourself as well. In the words of another friend, you have to like how they smell....
So very true.

I am really hoping and wishing my friend's meeting goes well, I feel very confident it will. Only 2.75 weeks to go!! Hang in there!