Decompensation in Real Time

My mother’s progression through Alzheimer’s has accelerated at an alarming rate. For all the heart ache and tears it causes me emotionally, I have to admit that it interests me on a scientific level.

My mom’s nouns are gone. Apparently, when you begin to decompensate neurologically certain sets of neurons hold up their little axons and dendrites and say, “Oh, we are nouns, we will just blink off now.”

And that’s it, all the nouns go away.

Ever try to communicate without nouns? Or, have you ever tried to understand someone who is trying to tell you a story without nouns?

Impossible.

My mom stopped recently and asked point blank, “Where have all my words gone?”

I wish to hell I knew. I’d go get the little devils and put them back in her brain. The emotional pain of watching this happen in real time is a fate I would not wish on my worst enemy. And yet, it is amazing, really, how and in what order the brain falls apart. How is it that the nouns are affected? Why not random words? Or words from all parts of grammar? How did the brain know all these were nouns?

The cognition is starting to go as well. That’s why I know she won’t pass her driving test…

At first, I wanted to believe it was attention seeking behavior. But no, her inability to understand and integrate new processes is real.

It kills me, inside and out.

And yet, there is still something interesting going on.

Such conflict…