It's Official!

I have officially graduated nursing school! Graduation is Thursday and I am so excited that it is over! I have many more hurdles to clear, but I think I can get that done. Yippee!!

Shopping in Earnest

I have officially sold Moose. I delivered him to his new home last night! WooHoo!

The shopping for something different now will be in full swing. I am going to get my final done first, but then I will be shopping to buy.
The list has changed somewhat:
2002-2006 Ducati Monster (620 or 800)
same year of Suzuki SV650

So far, that is what I am mostly interested in. I am just happy to have found a home for Moose! I am sure she will really enjoy learning on him. At 5'10" Moose's height is no issue for her!

When the Past Creeps in...

I have one more test before nursing school is officially over.
I also have a ridiculous terror of failing it.

It is so irritating when, your normal, confident, "I know I am on the right path," mind set can be unhinged by some stupid bad juju from your childhood.

I have this fear that I will have come this close and have worked this hard, and I will screw it up at the last moment. Man, am I the only weirdo out there?

My logical brain totally gets that this is not going to happen, because I will do all the things I must to be prepared and do well. This brain also knows that failure is not an option, so stop worrying with it.

Then there is the part that stills hears my dad screaming, "You don't have the sense god gave a goose! You'll never amount to anything!!" Thanks dad.

Throughout my life, I believe facing things and dealing with it up front is the only way to go. I believe that as of late now more than ever. Therefore, I thought I would blog for everyone's enjoyment of my state of agitated sympathetic neural response.
Yep, heart rate's up, blood pressure is up, fight or flight is in full gear....
Oh, that is on the next test.....

Food Rationing in the US

A friend alerted me to this article about Food Rationing in the US. With the globe being smitten with a food shortage, retailers are rationing food here to help meet demands elsewhere in the world. So much of our grain stores are being used for "PC" things such as bio-fuels, we are not feeding our body's engine but the engine of our cars. The inefficiency of bio-fuels, we can discuss later. Other crops are at risk as well; wheat did not do well at all last year and prognosis for this year is a little scary what with the weather forecasts.

As a nation, the US has to start putting needs of our planet and our societies at a higher priority than "me, me, me." The US consumes large amounts of resources in comparison to the rest of the planet. At some point, we have to stop.

Where does the overwhelming need to consume come from?
Do our kids really need that many toys?
How is it that having a so much "stuff" has come to replace enjoying life?

I was talking with a nursing student friend about when he and his wife and family of 4 kids were in Virginia for the summer. He said, "We brought clothes and something to drive. That was it, no stuff or nick-knacks. It was so much better." He and I both agree, less is more in so many ways.
De-clutter, remove the things in your life that are causing you strife and practice KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid).
The kissing part can be great too!.

The end is at hand.

I have one more lecture, one more test and one more shift at the hospital. Then it's over. Really, really over.

I almost can't believe it. It is surreal!

Yippee, almost there!

Motorcycles

I have several people looking at my bike this week, so wish me luck on re-homing Moose. I will miss him, but not his height. The only think I like really tall is my man!
I have just about decided on my 2nd choice. I have had huge problems giving up the performance aspect of my Ducati. I have been looking at a Ducati Monsters from 2002-2004. These have the umphf I so love and that Ducati sound - oh yeah. Price wise it is a good deal and, wait for it, they are lower!! I will be able to touch the ground, key point. There is a gorgeous 2004 Monster 800 at Full Boar cycles in Richardson. I am liking it more and more. It is the right color too, bright yellow!

My shopping continues, and hopefully, I will be bike-less by the end of this week.
Not for long!!

Interruptions...

Life, school and obligations for graduation have really been a pain this semester. I finally got to go to martial arts this past Tuesday. It was so great to get back to it. It is crazy how much you miss causing yourself lots and lots of pain.

As school settles down and graduation comes and goes, martial arts attendance, for me, will hopefully improve. I have been giving lots of thought to my next belt test and have practiced my demo a couple times. I hope it works out well. I also want to get back to the weapons class as sword is definitely something I want to learn - or at least try to learn.

Upcoming events:

• Graduation May 8th
• Large party to quickly follow (probably should plan that...)
  
• Work for a bit longer at UTSW
• Start my internship
• Try to keep up!

Aprilla Shiver

This year there were a few bikes at the auto show. One that I was allllll about was the Aprilla Shiver. 750cc engine, and the naked look that I like, it even seemed like it might be short enough. It was on a rear stand and I could still touch the ground.....At around $9K, not too bad. I might have to test ride those one day!

2008 Auto Show

We went to the Dallas Auto Show this year. My fav's were the Aston Martin DB9 (gorgeous!!), the Audi R8 (ooohh ahhh) and for giggles and economy, the smart car. Obviously, the Porsche is always at the top of the list. So beautiful, so elegant, so fast. Gonna have to own one of those one day...

The new BMW 1 series are great! The convertible was very nice, but I think I liked the coupe even better. With numerous seat adjustments and the BMW comfort, they should be a top seller. It think that is what my friend Jen is getting. Great choice. I also love the M6 and the 6 series of BMW. I am really drawn to the body style.

I still feel as though Subaru has ruined the WRX. The front end is as generic as a Camry and totally unattractive. I will be driving my WRX until it falls apart and is no longer repairable. With Subaru's track record that will be quite a while.

If you like cars, you gotta go to the auto show!

Sold...Almost!

I have my motorcycle on Craig's list hoping to find it a new home. As much as I love it, I want something I can actually touch the ground while straddling. Someone contacted me and we met up for him to have a look. Loved it, and called back later and said he wanted it. So I thought, cool! But, alas, he backed out considering he has been in the US only 4 months and has already bought a house and a car. Understandable!!
I will continue to try and sell it and I know it will happen in good time. I am determined to re-home Moose! Other bikes await me!
This time around I will begin the search by riding as many bikes as I can get near. The dilemma is thus:
I like performance
I want to touch the ground
Shorter performance bikes are really expensive
I don't think cruisers are going to do it for me


Heavy sigh,
I am sure the right thing will come along.

Girl Moments

I have found as the end of school nears, I am prone to "Girl Moments." I think it is the stress and long-term tired I have going on right now. Girl Moments are really foreign to me as I am not the cry or emotionally out of sorts type of female. Mind over matter!
But a week ago, there I was, not being able to sleep and very upset.

I think as you near the end of something you have worked really hard at; school, a new job, marriage, kids leaving for college; your psyche senses the change. Change brings new horizons and the unknown. I think the "new" flushes out some insecurity or trepidation of finishing the "known" and the "Holy crap!!" of starting something new.
Hence, the Girl-ness.
I am better now and don't feel quite so upset. It is just time to live in one place, have one thing to do for a living and find a routine again.
As the light grows brighter at the end of the tunnel, closer is the end of one journey. The light is another journey about to begin.
Holy Crap!

Accomplishment

This weekend, I helped move my mom and sister into a new rental property. My mother's condition had deteriorated to the point that living alone was no longer a good idea.

We got my sister moved from her place (and out of the situation) in a couple hours. My mom took a little longer as there were a few more items of furniture and LOTS more clothes!

I cannot really verbalize how proud of my sister I am. She has made a decision to leave the worthless individual she was involved with and pursue a better life.

She has also chosen to step up to the responsibility of helping care for my mom. No simple task.

Her accomplishment of will is extraordinary. She chose to have a better life and step into the unknown because it had to be better than where she was.
I am so proud of her.
She did it.

All of my siblings and I are are universally supportive. She will be successful, I have faith.
It will take a while to settle into a new routine, for her and for mom. But it will be beneficial for both.

Way to go Sis!!

Spring Break is almost over...

Today is good Friday and the end of Spring Break is looming! I have one more assignment to finish and ALL of my assignments will be done and turned in for the rest of the semester!!!

This is very exciting!
I have been busy, busy this week with all that, getting my mom and sister ready to move tomorrow and working. The week has flown by! As the end of school is in sight, I have a sense of impatience that got to me a little this week. I am very ready for the nomadic life to end. It is strange what you miss; routine, your stuff, cooking, cleaning house.....I'll never gripe about cleaning again. I miss keeping a house and everything that goes along with it.

Although really busy, it was a tough week too. Of course the end in this case justifies the means, but the means is getting really, um, stale. I just keep telling myself it will be over soon.
And it will.

It's good for more than you think!!

This is a fun article in Women's Health, which is one of my favorite magazines. It's about weight loss tips and how the more sex the better. I can't think of a better way to lose weight! I also read in Playboy last month that it is estimated that over 40% of marriages are sexless marriages. No wonder lots of people are overweight, depressed and angry. It's all just a vicious circle!!

Laughter, friends, lots of sex and organizing your life so that it is happy is the way to go! The first three are the major part of the last one! Go home and get it on with your significant other, call your friends to keep up and go work out! WooHoo!

Dolphins Saves Whale and Baby Whale

CNN has a story of a dolphin in New Zealand assisting a stranded whale and her baby to safety!!

Very cool!

Spring Break!

As of today, I am officially on Spring Break! I have all next week off and my hope is to get the rest of the semester's assignments done and turned in. I also hope to sleep A LOT. The irregular schedule I have to keep between work and school is wearing me down, especially since the Camp Summit Plague still pains me. I just can't get rid of the cough, or the nasal congestion.

Anyway, the ToDo list for now until next Sunday is thus:

• Taxes
• Lecture questions
• Modules finished (3 is almost done, then 4)
• SL project turned in (this is the assignment associated with Camp Summit)
• Work
  

That is my list, very do-able in fact. After spring break, it is three more days of clinicals, 60 hrs of transition to nursing and then two tests. Then it will be OVER!!

I can then study for the NCLEX and (please, oh please) pass it on the first try. Wow, after that, the internship starts and I get to do only one thing professionally again.

Camp Summit Lives On...

Every single one of us who went to camp Summit have come down with some awful bug. I am so tired of being ill. I am on the mend, but all of us who visited germ mecca contracted some awful thing. Presently, most of us are on the mend, myself included. I do still get tired really easily, but it is improving.

Just goes to show how important daily, regular hygiene is. That was herd immunity I don't have!!

More rest, more fluids...(does that include vodka??)

A Weekend at Camp Summit

This past weekend I was completing my service learning project for nursing school. This is basically 20hrs or more of community service. I and several of my fellow nursing school students chose Camp Summit to do our community service at. This is a camp for developmentally delayed or mentally retarded people. This weekend was adult weekend so the age range-chronologically that is- was 18 to 65 years old.

First of all, this is a very “outside the box” excursion for me. Admittedly, I am not so comfortable with the mentally retarded or otherwise “off” people. There are people who are much better at than I am. My ex-husband being one of them.

At any rate, the weekend was a good experience, even if it is one that I am ever so glad is finally over.

I came away from this weekend with a new and permanent appreciation of the fact that all my neurons are properly connected. I am equally thrilled that all my friends’ kids have their neurons properly connected.

This is a gift that we take for granted most of the time. Again, our health is something we take for granted because it has been here so long and we have never been without it.

Let me tell you, there are people who have never had a normal day in their lives.
Nor have their parents.

You could see the tired and lifetime of tired in some of the parents’ eyes that came to drop off kids. Then there was the group homes – homes where those who have no one and live in a group environment. This made me sad in lots of ways.

This weekend raised many questions for me personally; what is the reason for some of these people living among us? It is so difficult for them to be here, why are they still here? How will these people finally die? This question was especially prominent for those who are violent when you try to care for them. Right now, they are young and relatively healthy. Later, when old age kicks in, languishing in a bed or wheel chair can be truly awful.

Many difficult ethical questions coursed through my mind, and still do. The biologist in me says some of these people should never have made it out of the hospital. Just because we can save lives doesn’t always mean we should. The human in me says they have something to teach and we have something to learn. The logical person in me asks why are we doing this? To what end will this serve?

I don’t have answers to all these questions, or maybe not a lot of answers I am willing to post without explanation, but I think the answers to these questions will continue to evolve.

After all, the mind and the parachute are alike in their function; both work best open.

It's Official

It is official, I accepted an internship with Presbyterian Dallas in the Neuro ICU. It starts in June, and is 16wks long, and the major bonus is it is a day shift! I am sure I will learn a great deal and all will go well. That is one major thing off my list!

That was one goal I had wanted to accomplish; have a job lined up by March. It is a load off knowing where I will go. So far, one other nursing student friend is going there as well. Two more are scheduled to interview. We will see.

I can't wait for this to be over, to have an adult life again. It is really starting to drag. Just a few more weeks!!

And so it begins....

I am not even half way through the semester and already the job interviews are looming. I have had one for a large hospital in the area (thank god it is NOT down town) for the neuro ICU. They did offer the position, but I have a second interview for the ER at the same hospital tomorrow.

I will have a job by Friday. It is a great feeling knowing that in February, 3 months before I graduate, I don't have to worry about having a job. If the ER (ED in more "current" terms - Emergency Department) offers, I then have to take a long hard look at me and decide which is better for my personality. I don't think either would be wrong, but I want to really give that some thought.

Of course the panic has set in as well. Holy S@@!!@@T, people will expect ME to answer their questions and possibly prevent them or their family from dying.....

Christy said the 4th semester panic is normal and that it will pass. Once in the internship, I will be too busy and overwhelmed to worry...

wish me luck!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Give your sweetie a hug, kiss and something extra!
Get naked!!
If you are sweetie-less, be happy with you!
Otherwise, sweetie may not be the adjective with which you describe the person you are with!
:-O

Have a happy day!
It is your actions, not what you buy, that makes the gift.
Love
Praise
Support

If I can make it through February...

My group finished our nursing project and presented it today! So much prep and it is finally done! I really must say, I think our group did the best of the 4 that presented today. We were organized, polished and everyone laughed and interacted so well in the discussion. Yeah!

Today reminded me that public speaking is something most people just don't do. It is very hard to get up in front of people and not read the power point. I have done so much presenting in science that I had forgotten how upsetting it is to most people to perform a presentation. Our talk was on delegation to the licensed personnel. A topic that is vague in its coverage in the board of nursing's guide lines.

All we have left to do is post to our online groups for final points. Oh, and that has to be done tonight along with the HW due tomorrow, and I have to take care of my mother's medications and fill out her application for a new residence, oh and at least say "hi" to my man. Whew....

By the end of February, the majority of crap, er, school "hoops" will have been jumped through.
Can't wait!!

I am What Size?

I have interviews starting up this week. Having worked in a lab for 12 years, I obviously don't have anything that would be appropriate for an interview. No, most of my clothes have stains on them, bleach marks and are so frayed, they tickle my feet.

Consequently, I don't know how to shop, nor do I enjoy it at all.

In steps KP, the personal shopper who has also shopped with Jen. It is frightening how much help I needed.

Shopping with KP is quite the eduction and I am in her debt for a really long time. I see lots of sushi dinners in her future!

At any rate, success was had, we found a suite that is great, fantastic shoes ( I love shoes), and I learned that my sizing is "petite." Never would have guessed that considering the size of my, um, posterior, but nursing school will be over soon and the excess posterior will go away. Petite refers to my short appendages.

What is it that really helps people?

This semester includes taking care of cancer patients. Having had a father that died of cancer, I have seen what goes on during treatment, physical decline and finally death.

My thought was, other than all the drugs, what really helps?

One of my charges this week included a wonderful woman with lymphoma. Newly diagnosed and very unsure of what to expect, we had the opportunity for lots of talk time and education. On the second morning of her care, she looked a bit frazzeled to me so I asked what was up. She explained how she just melted down yesterday and all the other feelings she has about what the treatments were doing to her life. Recognizing a fellow control-freak, I told her it was good she could get it all out and that melting down was expected and healthy. You can face it when it finally gets out.

She had no idea you should look at it that way; to her, it was losing control.

She said that helped so much. Just to be told what she is going through is to be expected, her reactions, acceptable.

Cancer can step into any life. If that life is outgoing, independant, healthy and happy with lots of activities, cancer interrups all of that. The frustration I have seen is worse sometimes than the drugs.

Just being able to talk to someone who says, "Hey, you are gonna melt down, it's OK," I think that helps too.

With how busy nurses are, we cannot lose sight that are first priority is nurturing. I hope I can keep that in mind through my career. If I lose sight of that, I think I'll do something else.

Breckenridge, the final say

Breckenridge was great fun! We did spend one day in Vail, as our lift tickets worked there as well.

Unless you are, oh, an Olympic level skier, don't bother. Green runs end in blacks or even moguls, the mountain isn't marked (we had to go uphill at one point), and not much is groomed. The lift lines were crazy long, but it was Saturday. It is stunningly beautiful. The whole place is right off a postcard with snow laden trees that are so perfect you can't believe they are real.

A new development, if we go back to Breck next year, I will try snowboarding again. I know, I know, glutton for pain and punishment, but at Breck, it is so much more conducive to learning. Nice, wide, gently sloping greens, no cliffs to fall off of like Winter Park. I have to try again, it looks like too much fun--still. I spent one morning with one of the bunch that was trying snowboarding for the first time. Just to see how much room there is to learn with, I gotta try again if we go back. I have heard beaver creek is the same way.

Snowboarding again...I have to!

Week Two of Semester 4

Ok, I am busy enough. Finally! With three classes, 20hr/wk work, family obligations and martial arts and the gym, I have attained busy again. Really busy.

I like this best! At the hospital were are doing the nursing stuff now. We are taking care of 2, 3, 4, sometimes 5 patients. We are responsible for charting and doing everything right. I have had the apparently common panic attack of, "holy crap, I may have to keep someone from dying." We have been told that said panic attack is normal fourth semester. It passed already-the panic attack that is. Haven't lost anyone yet....

Our additional class this semester is nursing management. It is all online, my favorite method, and involves lots of writing. I feel deeply for the few in our class who do not type. Sad day for them! Lots of lots of stuff online to type!

We do get to rotate through ICU and ER which I am looking forward to. These are on the possible list and I need to know what it's like.

That is the school update! Wish me luck keeping my head above water!

Thoughts From Friends

One of my nursing school buddies sent this out. I thought instead of forwarding it I would jsut posit it. I especially like 13, 14, 19 and 25.

40 Tips for an Exceptional, Healthy & Powerful Life in 2008!

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Record your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, "My purpose is to ____ today."
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation , prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10.Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan Salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts .
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life .
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does .
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about .
24. Burn the candles, use the nice bed sheets, Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business .
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time.
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. So stop complaining about the weather, the job, the bills, etc. Etc.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
32. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
33. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
34. The best is yet to come.
35. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
36. Do the right thing!
37. Call your family often.
38. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: " I am thankful for ___." Today I accomplished ____.
39. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
40. Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pace. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride. Have a fantastic 2008!

Powder, Cold and Mountains

The annual skip trip is here! Basically, we are the same group with a few deletions or changes in those attending. We number 17 this year! Breckenridge is the locale and there has been tons of snow!
For those of you who read regularly, I admitted defeat this year and am happily skiing with friends! The snowboard wins and I sucked at it. I am skiing the blues and having a great time. The best part about our group is everyone skis with whomever is at their level. With a group of 17, there is always someone to ski with!

The high this week was 27 and we have already seen that. The high today was 19 with a wind chill of 4. BBBbbbrrrrr!!

I have sore thighs and my calves are having a small conversation with me, but other than that, I am great! The last run today felt really good with my legs not getting so tired. I must be doing something better!

John has already taken an entire 4gig card on his camera, so plenty of pics are a promise. Keep you posted on how the rest of the week goes!

We Only Learn Through Failure

This is an excellent article about Failure by Oprah listed on CNN.

Our society always uses the word "perfect" when nothing is nor ever will be. We are supposed to, as a species continue to learn. How do we really learn?

By not succeeding....failing.

I know personally the lessons most valuable to me are the ones I learned through truly terrific error or failure.

I like how the article also addresses success:

"Success is as dangerous as failure," said Lao-tzu, and any life coach knows this is true. I can't count the number of times people have told me, "I hate the job I'm doing, but I'm good at it. To do what I want, I'd have to start at zero and I might fail."
Dwelling on failure can make us miserable, but dwelling on success can turn us into galley slaves, bound to our wretched benches solely by the thought, I hate this, but at least I'm good at it.

I also agree with the following that discusses a better attitude toward failing:

This is the magic of accepting that you've done your very best but failed. Own your failure openly, publicly, with genuine regret but absolutely no shame, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection -- the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

What is it in our society that makes most fear failure so intensely? How else do we expect to learn? I personally believe the most valuable things to learn are the most costly to us. Why would you want to go through pain, hurt, emotional turmoil or financial expense and learn nothing?
Not learning would be even more expensive.
Wow, because then you have to fail the same way again.
No thanks.

Unexpected Gifts

Merry Christmas everyone! I thought I would drop a note to let you know an unexpected gift the holiday season.

I talked with my brother in New Jersey this morning. He was very excited about his new digital camera he received for a gift.
My brother in his excitement told me, "Kelly (his wife) likes to go do family stuff, and we can take pictures now and send them to everyone, it'll be great! We never did anything like that growing up. It is amazing to go and watch the kids and all, can't wait to send pictures."

I thought it was a great gift, he is having a better life with his family than we did growing up. He figured out how to
have a better life all on his own, and I'm really proud of him!

The gift of family and the gift of enjoying them.
Perfect.

Merry Christmas.

Merry, Happy and Everything in Between!

I want to wish everyone a very happy holiday! Best wishes in the new year for happiness and success.

Be safe, laugh lots, and enjoy every day. For each day is a gift.

Order Your Organism

I saw this link from the Washington Post on synthetic DNA and the organisms that are being created. This is big business for the 21st century and beyond.

As a scientist, I have both excitement and trepidation concerning artificial DNA and the organisms it alters or creates. Some of what is discussed in the article simply have added genes to bacteria to produce chemicals needed for an array of different things.

Another side is the actual engineering of a whole genome for an organism that may or may not already exist. A safe guard mentioned in maintaining/controlling genetically altered bacteria is the fact these bugs are engineered with a artificial nutrient dependence and thus would not be able to survive outside the lab.

Where have we heard that before?

Never under estimate the adaptive ability of nature, nor the drive to survive and reproduce. That is all bacteria and viruses are programmed to do.

The article also discusses virus creation. I'd hate for I am Legend (originally The Omega Man)to actually come to fruition. I really enjoyed the movie, by the way.

It is an interesting article. But one last point:
Just because we can, does not always mean we should.

Three Down, One to Go!

I finished my third semester! I have a month to relax and work, then on to the fourth semester--the last one!!

Fourth is supposed to be the hardest, with you having to do several things at once. I think maybe I will finally be busy enough...

Scheduling work will be a bit of a challenge it seems, but there is always the weekend too. I have tried to keep the weekends for sleeping and studying and other things recreational, but I may have to give in this last semester. It will all work out I am sure.

My grades were good, not a s good as I would have liked, but since there were no A's, I can't complain. A few did not make the grade to continue on, so I am counting myself fortunate. We are all having a celebratory night at the Fox and Hound in Richardson tonight. I am looking forward to hanging out with everyone.

It has been a long semester....

One more to go!!

Gratification of Sweat

I finally got back to martial arts class. I have been hit-or-miss for way too long.
Damn nursing school...

There is such gratification in working out and sweating with other people, all doing the same thing. The class activity is great. Going to the gym is not quite the same, but close.

I hope to attend regularly at least for the month I am off. Then try really hard to come once the ominous fourth semester kicks in. I will need the stress reduction and my behind certainly does not need to get any wider.
Damn nursing school...

I am looking forward to a relaxing time, with skiing!!! Lots of physical activity and lots of down time.
My gosh, maybe I'll read something other than nursing!!??!

Maybe X-men Isn't Too Far Off?

This is a very interesting blurb of an article published in the National Academy of the Proceedings of Science. Human evolution is happening at a break-neck speed.

Apparently our discovery of agriculture and thus a better diet along with culture and community living has spurned on our evolution. Humans are now living in new environments that require fast adaptation.

So what's a Homo sapien to do?

Evolve...


The question is are we E-volving or De-evolving.....

Quote For the Day

SUCCESS

To laugh often and much
to win the respect of intelligent people
and affection of children; to earn the
appreciation of honest critics and
endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty, to find the best
in others; to leave the world a bit
better, whether by a healthy child
a garden patch or redeemed
social condition; to know even
one life has breathed easier because
you have lived. This is to have
succeeded.


-Ralph Waldo Emerson


I doubt it will ever be stated better.

Consumerism and Christmas

I have found the commercial that embodies why I dislike Christmas and what it has come to represent in our society.
It is the Dodge Caravan commercial of the mom talking about how her son went to the friend's house and saw his friend's new Dodge Caravan. She states her son came home and asks, "Mommy, why doesn't our van have swivel seats?" and, "Mommy why doesn't our van have dual DVD players?"
At the end of the commercial she plaintively tells her son, "...your Daddy and I are going right over to the Dodge dealer to get a new Caravan, Mommy loves you."

Since when do Christmas presents involve new autos because our kids think we should all have new cars? Why do we have to buy a zillion things and spend money we don't have in the belief that if we don't, we won't be thought of well or loved or something bad would happen?

Is it not gift enough that we have health, family and life? I am all for striving for the best, but to keep our kids happy by purchasing things....what's the point? They have too much already.

For many, I think this is what Christmas has boiled down to: Who spends the most. Gifts are fine, but come on.
Case in point, one year my Ex's niece, all of almost three years old, said on Christmas morning, "Do I have to open more presents, I'm tired." I think it was over kill.

I just don't agree with such consumerism as a replacement for presence in a person's life, especially children's lives.

Be there, the presents go away.
Money is not the most important thing.

The Light Grows Brighter...

I have one week, one final left. Then semester three is done! All I have to do is live through the last semester and take the NCLEX-or nursing boards.

I am still not certain about exactly what field of nursing I want to go into. This is the definite "NO" list:

1. Anything OB: Being all up in another woman's WhooHa is just not my ball of wax. Oh, and catching that critter as it slides or is forceped out of Mom, no thank you. I have no problem with blood and guts, but massaging funduses to make them contract and bleed, um, that's a big no too. And I don't want to inspect your episiotomy for a living. Ew factor to the nth degree. So, no OB.
2. Psych: I am too afraid I will see my family there. And those people are crazy.
3. Geriatrics: It is a character flaw, I realize, but I am not cut out for the old person stuff. Or to be groped by the dirty old man when taking his vitals. I like healthy old people because they are a riot, but no sick ones please, I already have one of those.
4. Med-Surg: Boooorrringgggg. Pass meds, chart, no adrenaline. There are great med-surg nurses out there, but I don't think I am one of them.

So, you wonder, what does the possible yes list hold?? This list is in very faint pencil, so don't hold me to it.

1. Big person ICU or trauma. This should be no surprise to those who know me. The down side is I would want the best training and it is found at Parkland.....
2. Research nursing: Just do what I do now only make gobs more $$. Not such a bad deal.
3. Pediatrics: Shocking, huh? I liked my Children's rotation. I don't know if I could do it full time, but it is not on the No list.
4. After I have worked for a while, I will go back to university and teach. I have always loved teaching and I know I will end up there.

This is the list so far. Anyone out there with any ideas, I am all ears. It is a little strange for me personally to not be driven in one specific direction. This is why I am getting my RN; choices. I can do anything I want, this was the whole deal.

Go to the light, go to the light!!!!

Words From a Boomer Nursing Student

My monthly copy of Imprint, our nursing student organization magazine arrived today. There is an article about retiring into nursing. Yes, retiring and then going to nursing school. There is a passage in it that really speaks to me. The author discusses what it is that made her want to go back and basically start again, reinvent herself. This is an excerpt from that article that I thoroughly agree with:

Furthermore, a trait that I share with Dan and Gary is a fear of complacency. To be complacent is to be stagnant. In business, stagnation means a failure to thrive, The same holds true in personal life. I don't wish to ever grow complacent or simply happy with the status quo. To do so will have meant that I have lost my competitive spirit, my desire to excel, and my natural curiosity. I will have lost my sense of adventure, my desire for new opportunities and experiences, my "edge." Should complacency ever occur, I would undoubtedly grow mentally and emotionally old.

Really, isn't this what living, really living life is about?

Engineered food for Cats?

It seems that scientists can't keep from jacking with nature. Why do we want a mouse that isn't afraid of a cat??

It seems genetics is a great deal responsible for our reactions to our environment. Makes sense to me, otherwise species would not have been able to thwart predators' for this long.

Let to natural selection, I doubt this new genetically engineered mouse would survive. Cats are not chanting, "Mice are friends, not food."

Poor mouse!

China Deserves our Attention

It seems China has decided it will not go disrespected or underestimated any longer. A Song class submarine surfaced within firing range of several US battleship practicing in the Pacific.

Whether we like it our not, the world as a whole must accept that China is an up and coming new world power. With 1/3 the world's population and a very well controlled population, recognition of their potential needs to be acknowledged.

Quite the wake up call if you ask me.

I Found My Next Bike!!

We went to the International Motor Cycle Show on Sunday. After sitting on practically everything there, I found it. Then I went and sat on everything again, but still came back to it.

Why am I attracted to some of the most expensive things out there??

My next bike will be a BMW F800ST. With the lower seat option, I am flat footed on both sides of the bike. It weights the same as Moose, but the engine is lower and you sit on the gas tank which lowers its center of gravity.
I loved it.
It is also expensive...dammit!

Of course, I have to have the Electric blue color!!

Only 11 classes left...

I have 11 actual classes left in this semester of school. The light grows brighter at the end of the tunnel. I cannot wait till it is all over. Just think, after this, there is only one more semester left!!
A more pressing question is what field of nursing do I want to go into? I have just about settled on an ICU rotation. Parkland, most likely since their internship is one of the best around and you get rotations in all ICU fields: Neuro, Burn, Emergency, Cardiac and one more that I can't think of right now.
Obviously, no laboring moms, no NICU and no postpartum-yuck! Peds was OK, but I think I would get bored. That leaves trauma and ICU.

I have to start hunting for a job in January. This is why I need to narrow it down fairly soon! Wish me luck.

More Answers From Science

I love this stuff!! Scientists have discovered a laser that can obliterate viral particles of the tobacco mosiac virus without harming surrounding "good" stuff.

Kong-Thon Tsen, a professor of physics at Arizona State University, has shown a super fast laser to be able to basically molecular 'undo' the viral capsid or "packaging" of the virus thereby inactivating it.

We just have to keep looking and trying to figure it all out. Great stuff!

More Answers From Nature

I get so excited about finding answers to biological and technical questions right in our own backyard--literally.
Here is an article on slash dot about the use of capsaicin for pain control. Yes, that's right, when you bite that pepper and your tongue goes numb, there is a medical use for that.
Who woulda thunk it?

Moose Can Bite!

This is what your leg looks like when you fall over in the drive way and your motorcycle of 410 lbs slides down your leg. The drive way is on an angle and by the time the foot got to the ground it was too late. This was the final straw on admitting my bike is just too damn tall no matter how much I love it. I am shopping for something shorter. This was at a standstill too and this pic is a week old.
Ouch!

Oh, and feel free to see my add on Craig's list!

Happy Birthday Jen!!!

Happy Birthday to one of my bestest friends!!

Hope your day is great!

Technology Moves Forward Again

Apparently we an now make chromosomes to order. The Chicago Tribune published an article about researchers at Chromatin Inc., making chromosomes artificially for corn.

These mini chromosomes seem to be accepted by the corn's genetic machinery and are passed on like the natural chromosomes.
What will we engineer next?

Nature, Nurture or Technology

I have almost finished my Pediatric rotation. I am now intimately familiar with the horrific things that can go wrong with little ones. It is amazing what our technology can fix, prolong or just sustain.

This begs the question: Is our technology ahead of our humanity? should some of these kids really be here?

I realize this is as charged a subject matter as possible, but I have to ask; should we be saving all of these kids?

When a child is born at 24 weeks gestation and has to be measured in grams, can't breathe, and will never be able to breathe correctly, or develop mentally normally; should we be saving this child?

On the flip side, whose choice is it? Most of the time, these parents are not able to financially suport these high needs kiddos. If the parent is willing and able, who is to tell them no, they cannot save their child?

There are no real answers, but I think the day will come where we will have to answer this question: Who do we save? And why?

Some questions are very difficult indeed.

Foreshadowing

I have started to have many thoughts on horses. It has been several years now since I have ridden. Certain circumstances surrounding the sale of my last horse, Silvey, left me without the energy or desire to pursue my four-legged, velvet-muzzled friends.

I have started looking at pictures again and thinking it would be nice to go for a little ride. Just a little one. I miss riding terribly and I miss horses - their smell, their fuzzy noses and their way of just being with you.

Of course I still have friends that ride and have horses, so I could go out and ride. I guess I will when I am ready.
In the mean time, I can hear them trotting in my head, hear their breath puff in time with their stride and hear the clomp-clomp-clomp of their hooves down the barn alley.

Eventually, I guess I go riding some again.

The Leader Who Chooses Not To Lead

With the impending elections coming up in 2008, our choices, in my humble opinion, are not awe inspiring.

Although I would not wish the presidency on anyone, I wish Al gore would run. With his award of the Nobel prize in peace, what better person to step forward and at least make the right steps to correct the fiasco that has been the War in Iraq. Just think, a leader who is a visionary, interested in the health and preservation of our earth, a leader who is a diplomat and yet strong willed and also well respected by our global counterparts, such a concept.

We have so much to repair as far as our image and the damaged respect in the eyes of so many nations.

We have a serious problem with climate change. My career is in science, and I have to tell everyone, the current administration is as friendly as a rabid dog to the world of science.

How do we expect to step forward in the years to come as a nation, as a people, as a world, without research and education not to mention a safe, healthy place to live?

I have always said, the people who should be leading this country are the ones who won't stomach the environment.

Just once, can't the person who is poised to make a true impact step up to the plate?
Al Gore, if you ever read this, please run for president in 2008. I would like to believe we would re-elect you.

Done with Italy

Sadly, I am choosing to sell my motorcycle to buy a different one. I have not made any decisions on what to buy, but I am sure I will figure that out in the near future.

I am done with Italy. I am done with waiting a friggin year (9 days) for something simple like an air filter.

The top of the list of qualifications for the new bike will be that it is shorter than my current bike. It really is too tall. There are all kinds of things I love about it, but I am tired of waiting for parts and I am tired of having to be ever-vigilant about where my feet will be landing.

So far, here are some bikes I will be looking at:

Triumph Daytona 600
Honda VFR 675(I think?)
Suzuki SV 650

It is a hard thing to pick out. I like the up-right seating position of my Multistrada. However, I am not a cruiser person. I like it sporty. The Honda CBR's are too tall. I like the narrow feel of my MS as I don't feel like there is this huge tank I have to reach around. I want something light weight as possible. A Triumph Bonneville has been suggested but it weighs 465lbs and I just don't like the look of it. I like the BMW's but wow the $$$$ and most of them are WAY too tall. Some of them I can't even reach the ground.

It looks like there is lots of shopping in my future. I have a check list of things to look for and of course, I have to sell my bike. Even though I will take a hit on it since it isn't mint, I don't care. It is time to get rid of it. I need a different horse in the stable!!

No Move for YOU!!

Considering I make almost nothing right now, I did not get the go-through on the condo financing despite my original pre-approval. It is possible the current mortgage/lending environment had something to do with it.

I am actually fine with it. My devout belief in "things happen for a reason" leads me to believe it was just not the right time. Timing is everything you know.

Now that I won't be moving, I have to re-think some things and have talked things over with some people and now know what to do. I will stay with friends that I have stayed with before and help them finish out the remodel on their home. I really like the whole remodel thing. My friends seem to be quite excited about my staying there again and I know if the past two years is any indication, 8 months will scream by. At the end of it all, I will have an RN, have a career I can do anything with and go anywhere as well. I think things will be in a much better situation for buying when I graduate.

I'm excited. What's not to be excited about? It is just another path in the journey of life. I like my life!

I am strangely relieved on the condo thing. I feel good about it in the second brain that is my gut.

Buying or not, that is the Question

And this is a question I really don't have an answer to.

Yes, the mortgage fiasco that has befallen the industry, does take a toll. I have just resigned myself to not really knowing if I will close and/or get funded until they tell me to show up and sign.
Heavy sigh....

I have stopped worrying about it, for there is nothing I can do. I have done all the things I can and covered all the questions. If I am supposed to go thru with this, it will happen. This is the only attitude I can take.

Who knows....
I certainly don't.

Missing the Sweat

Busy, busy!! I really am missing my workouts! Although I make up for them in other ways, I miss going to my martial arts class and sweating with my workout buddies. You just can't replace the group workout thing. If if you don't really socialize a lot with those you work out with, the shared energy of the workout is well worth it.

I missed all of it this week due to school or work. I am hoping to get a grip on things here shortly. Lots of class work!

A New Nursing Diagnosis

I have come up with a new nursing diagnosis :
PSP Syndrome
Piece of Shit Parent Syndrome

Several of the kids I have seen so far suffer horribly from this disorder. It is no wonder to me how beautiful, perfectly healthy babies can grow up to be such an integral part of our welfare, criminal legal system and impoverished sect of society.

Sometimes, this is all you know.

Until we make progress on either people being better parents or not having the kid in the first place, our nation is doomed.

It is Improving

Well, this week is better. My car is still parked, and will be till I close on the Condo. Yes, the deal is back on. "OH, we just forgot to send over the signed addendum, so sorry..." Once they knew we would cancel, things got done.
So I am still buying a condo. Yeah!

I get to pick up my bike tomorrow, thankfully! It will be so nice to ride again. Things are on the upswing.

Clinicals went well too. No one tried to stop breathing! I really like Children's and could see me working there. I really like the little patients, even the ones that look at you like you are the monster from under the bed. Those little ones usually have been through the wringer and you kinda are the monster under the bed.

So far, this is my favorite. Children's is a great environment too. We will see!

A Really Bad Week - Is it Over?

Let's recap last week:

• Wrecked car on Tuesday - car is now parked
• Inspection on condo found AC not working downstairs and dishwasher not working
• Bike STILL in the shop for airfilter that is MIA
• Pt tried to stop breathing on Wednesday
• Couldn't find boyfriend's car in parking garage Wednesday after work
• Took Pharmacology test Thursday AM: told test was open book and all my references are on my PDA. Get to test and find that "no electronic devices" as of that morning 8:30 am
• Passed test anyway, just barely
• Friday still no bike, signed addendum to have seller fix condo stuff
• Saturday: work at Baylor, 20 kids, damage control, could not possibly finish all Patients
• Sunday OK, till I got home and Realtor called and said we had to cancel the pending purchase of my condo b/c seller did not sign to fix AC and dishwasher

Is the week from hell over yet??!!??

The Brutatlity of 0430

Everyone who knows me, knows I am NOT a morning person. Unless, of course, you just are still up from the night before.

I have had two weeks now of 0430 to get ready for clinicals on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings.

It is brutal, utterly brutal. Once I finsih with working Wednesday afternoon, I am destroyed. I am usually in bed before the 9 leaves the clock. For me, that is unheard of.

Just thought I would give ya'll an update on how "before butt crack in the morning" was going.

It is brutal.

Maturity - ?

Throughout our young lives we constantly hear things like, "you will have to grow up" or "take care of your responsibilities."
Really, what exactly does this mean?

First of all, why grow up, totally, in all aspects of your psyche? I love being able to be a huge kid and go hell bent for leather into the unknown.
I also love being an adult and paying my bills, and having an adult life that offers so many choices. I guess I like balancing those two. Growing up does have its advantages but keeping my kid parts makes adulthood more fun.

As far as taking care of my responsibilities, I am doing that too. However, I think maturity is a lot about facing your day-to-day reality. You can't just ignore things and think, "I will deal with that later," or "if I wait long enough maybe it will go away."
It does not go away or get better, but instead, only worse.

Although I will take care of my mom for however long and to whatever end, I have days where I want to be 4 again and say, "you can't make me!!" and run screaming from the DFW metroplex. In looking back, if I had not turned around and faced that whole situation, it would have been so much worse.

Thus, is "growing up" or "being mature" about acting a different way or loosing your kiddo sense of fun? I don't think so. Actually, my child's sense of adventure is what keeps me sane especially dealing with my mom. (How else do you laugh at Baking Shoes??) The maturity and the brutal honesty with myself is what allows me to remain "one" with the kid parts.

Yes, brutal honesty. It is hardest to be honest with one's self. I think this is the greatest challenge in maturity. For if you are not honest with yourself, you will never be honest with anyone else. Even if you think you are or you think you want to be.

Opinion Poll

For those of you who read who are also associated with the martial arts I have a question:

As a fund raiser, what about a calendar of "Women and Weapons 2008" ?
We could have photos done with women and their favorite weapon (tasteful photos!) either in kata or kumite and make a calendar to sell instead of T-shirts.

I thought I would get an opinion poll before actually presenting the idea further.

Or maybe a slightly scandalous calendar would be more fun??

What do ya'll think?

Mean People Suck!

In light of the nicer weather, I took the opportunity to ride my motorcycle to work instead of taking the train. I had to go take a test as well, and the time on the train just wouldn't do.

So I parked my bike, on campus at UTSW in the visitor lot.

When I cam out to leave, I hopped on and took off. Setting at the red light, I looked down and, holy crap, my frame sliders were no longer where they belonged!! One was gone and the other was barely on and the rod attaching them was almost dislodged out from the right side of my bike!

Who is so determined to steal frame sliders off my bike??!!

Who ever it was really had to work at it as they are not installed lightly, they are screwed on tight.
I limped home, and later called the European Cycle Sport to bring it in. There was much profanity directed at the thief!

Anyway, I am safe and the guys at the shop are, as usual, taking excellent care of my bike. Such great service!!

I must say I was surprised at this attempted theft. Ok half completed theft.
I can't wait to have my Moose back!

Baking Shoes

I just thought I would pass along info to everyone out there: Baking shoes does not seem to increase their wear-ability.

I got a call from my mom today:

"Lisa, is this Lisa?"
I thought who else would answer my phone....?
"Hey Mom, how ya doin'?"
"Were are you? Are you at work today?"
"Yes, mom, I'm at work, it's Wednesday afternoon."

"Oh, OK, well, I'm fine, I need new shoes! I know I have been talking about new shoes, but I need some now. You know how you can't tell if the grass has water or not? Well it had lots of water and I stepped off into it and my shoes got real wet. So I tried to dry them. I put them in the thing...you know that thing to get hot and dry."
"So you put them in the clothes dryer?" I offered.
"No, well, I shoulda I guess, but no, that thing that's in the kitchen."
(Oh shit...)
"Mom, do you mean the oven? You cook food in the oven."
"Yes, that's it. I put them in the oven. Well, they didn't do so good in there."
( No kidding...)
"They hurt now when I try to wear them, so I need new ones."
"OK, mom, that was not the best thing to do. Shoes don't go in the oven."
"(Laughing) Well, I knew that, I don't know what I was thinking..."
"OK, well, it will have to wait till this weekend, because I work all week and Saturday."
"You work the rest of the week? I didn't know that."

Word to the wise, shoes and oven don't mix. It seems to lower the functionality of the shoes.
All I can do is laugh, because the crying would be too exhausting...

Housing Update

I currently have a signed contract on a condo. I am hopefully that all will go well. I already had the loan pre-approved, so maybe I have a chance at all going well.
It would be nice to have my stuff out of storage and be able to cook lots again!

The prospective closing date is Oct 1st. This is after my first big test of the semester and hopefully will be a little calmer.

Wish me luck! It is in a development I have always liked and that has remained very constant in condition. I would have some things to update, but I can do most of it over time. The downstairs carpet, though, has to go if it becomes mine.

It will serve its purpose just perfectly!!
I will keep you posted!

First Kiddo Procedure

Today was my first day handling kiddos. I really, really liked it so far. The very first thing I got to do was remove an IV from an adorable 10 month old boy. It is so great he was feeling better and more active! But, wow, getting the 10 month old to sit still long enough for me to undo the tape, peel off the tegaderm, and then occlude the vein after removing the IV...whew!

He was a great little patient playing games with me and examining my stethoscope and name badges. So cute!

On a less fun note, I had to help restrain a child for upper respiratory suctioning today. He did not like us!! I don't blame him one bit. Also, 10 months old, he was very vocal about his dissatisfaction with our procedure! Afterward, though, Mommy and Daddy were able to make it all better. And he could breath....
Breathing is important!!

I am interested to see how the semester plays out. Peds is still on the list.

Managing the New Schedule

Today we discussed our clinical assignments and all the expectations that went along with these. the cluster that is our new schedule was also discussed.
So the new schedule is thus:
Monday, class 8:30 to 14:30, thereafter study like crazy and go to Children's at 15:30 and get patient data. Stay up till all hours getting that ready.

Tuesday: Catch the rail at 0515, arrive at Children's at 06:15, update data, get report and start the day. Leave at 13:30.
Go home do more paperwork and hopefully get in bed by midnight. Hopefully...

Wednesday: Same as Tuesday only we have to have all the paperwork done and turned in my noon. Yeah...

Wednesday afternoon: work at UTSW. The good news is I just walk across the road and I am at work. I guess that is good news.

Thursday and Friday work at UTSW.

I am still PRN weekends at Baylor too.
I am feeling a little too busy....

I may or may not bag the Baylor thing. We will have to see how I fair.
maybe I can loose some weight....
That would be a good note since my mom informed me I had gotten "big"!
Don't you just love moms....?

The REALLY good news is I only have eight more months....
Yippee!!

Two to Go!!

I am back in school on semester three! One more after this!!

This semester is OB/GYN and Pediatrics. I am looking forward to Peds, but not so much to the OB/GYN part.

It isn’t that I don’t like babies; I really love babies, especially when I can give them back to their parents!
I just have no experience with pregnancy or labor or having a baby, nor will I. I know I do not want to take care of pregnant or laboring moms, so I am not looking forward to this part of the semester. I have already discovered the fact of new moms think there is something wrong with you if you do not want to have children.

I have already gotten, “Do you have any children?” When I respond “no,” they ask when I will have them. When I respond that I don’t want kids they look at me as if I have grown a third eyeball or suddenly grown fangs.

I understand these moms are all excited to be in this amazing experience of childbirth so they most likely are so excited to having this baby and could not understand why anyone would not want to go thru this same event.

In short, I feel like I cannot identify. Nor do I want to.

However, I am really looking forward to Peds. Peds is still on the list for things I may do after I graduate. I know the parents are the worst problem in the equation, so I will have to see how I deal with that.

Obviously, what I do upon graduation is still completely up in the air!!

Post 36 day

The birthday went well. The people who really wanted to be there were able to be there, yeah! It was nice, simple and fun.

Everyone, I really appreciate you being there!

Another Year Gone!

My birthday will be Wednesday.

I have found I do not have any of the trepidation that others seem to have about growing a year older. I have one friend that had a very difficult time with turning 30. I'll be 36 and am loving it!

People seem to take you more seriously (as a woman, this took time) now that I am a bit older. Yes, it could be my demeanor but, I think simple chronological age has some to do with it.

I like getting a little older. I am sure there will come a day when I want to press the STOP button, but that time is not yet here.
I really, really like my life.

Number Three Soon to Start!

Semester three of four is about to start! I am actually really anxious to get back to it. I want it to be over with so I can figure out what the heck I want to do with my RN.

This semester is Pediatrics and Obstetrics/Gynocology. Basically kids and new moms and babies. After having worked now testing newborn hearing for Baylor downtown, I found that I did not have as much issue with this as I thought. It really isn't that bad. Almost everyone is happy, for they have just had a new baby. Additionally, most everyone is healthy and going home in a couple days. It could be much worse.

Although I do not want kids, the babies are so cute! They are easy to take care of and don't fuss too much. You do have to be on your toes though. Babies can go south very, very fast.

I am excited to see what the semester brings!

Motorcycle Fever is Catching!

I helped John pick up his new bike today! I think he got tired of everyone we ran into telling him something along the lines of, "Oh, your girl rides but you don't? Dude, you gotta get a bike!"

Actually, I'm pretty sure he just wants one himself! He used to ride some in college, and thus, bought the same bike for his first bike, a wise decision--buy something you know and are comfortable on!

His new toy is a '96 Yamaha Virago. He is very pleased with it and pretty much tickled pink. He is signing up for the motorcycle class so he can be all official. It will be nice to have someone to ride with! And yes, he is an "all gear" person like I am!! Safety first!

Motorcycles Everywhere!!

While we were in CA there was a motorcycle race, the Mazda Raceway Laguna Sec. Consequently, there were motorcycles EVERYWHERE. All kinds! It was so much fun! We talked to lots of motorcyclists and I was insanely jealous that Moose was back in Dallas! Beautiful! The roads beg for a bike as well as a Porsche. Great riding!

California 2007

The vacation this year had to be financially minimal considering the student status.

One thing I have wanted to do for a long time is drive Highway 1 north, up the coast of California. John and I decided it sounded like a great idea. I made the plane reservations and the first night’s camping reservation (yes, camping!) and away we went.

Our first night in Sugar Loaf Ridge State Park was lovely. We ate dinner with deer just across the stream and had a lovely view all around the park. This park overlooks the Napa valley. Beautiful!

The next day was a drive north on the coast. One could stop every 15 minutes with the jaw-dropping vistas that you could see. The camera shutter was seldom still. With absolutely no plan, we continued on wherever our fancy drove us. We had decided there were a few things we had to see:

1. The Redwood Forests
2. Old Growth Sequias
3. Highway 1
4. Undecided

Hwy 1 was the first order of business. Our next stop was one element of the coast I was adamant about, Point Reyes Seashore State Park. We arrived at one of the Ranger stations and inquired about camping availability. There were a few campsites left. The closest one was a 5.5 mile hike in. We were up for it! WooHoo!

Thus came the first quotable quote for our trip:

Lisa to Park Ranger: “How’s the hike in? Is it straight up or is it fairly OK?”

Park Ranger: “Oh, (after surveying John and I) it’s fairly flat. You both should be just fine. Do you have gear?”

John: “Yes, we brought gear, we should be all good to go.”

“Relatively Flat” must have been with respect to the Sierra Mountains….

Although not a horrible hike, there were several moments we had to stop to catch our breath after lots of straight up and laugh uncontrollably at the quote, “Relatively Flat my a**!”

Such great fun!

The other quotable quote from this park Ranger was thus:

Lisa and John: “Is there water at the camp or do we need to pack it in?”

Ranger: “Yes there is water. It is usually drinkable.”

Both of us: “Wait, usually? What does that mean and is it drinkable now? Water is kinda a big deal.”

Ranger: Well it has been OK for a while now, but they have been know to test and close the water to drinking as is without boiling.”

Lisa: “But it’s drinkable now?”

Ranger: “Yes, it has been good for a while now. You should be just fine.”

Fortunately, “Usually Drinkable” turned out to be just fine.

Thus, the first thing added to the list of “Never travel again without” was a water purifier.

Second thing to add to the list, backpack with a hip strap. John had my large pack and I had a day pack, but it had no hip strap. Never again.

The 5.5miles took right at 2.5hrs and we arrived just before sundown with time to set up camp. Hiking with 6’6” as a hiking partner means hoofing it for my short little legs! But I think I kept up fine. Once settled we had time to meet those we were sharing the campsite with. Great, fun people! We had great conversation and lots of laughs. Everyone is sweaty and disheveled, but all of us enjoyed the company. We all hiked out together the next morning and had a lovely hike back. With no pressure of darkness, we were leisurely, and, it was more down than up.

Meeting these people clenched our decision of our final destination after the Redwoods: Yosemite.

The drive north was nothing short of exhilarating. The rocky shore, with waves crashing and the fresh scent of ocean wipes away anything that may be bothering you and frees the spirit. I have always loved the ocean, mostly from being submerged in it making bubbles, but to watch its raw power and to see how it has carved the shore’s edge is remarkable.

The driving was just as fantastic. The road begs for a great sports car! John and I managed to not fight over who got to drive as we shared the driving. We both love to drive, so it was great fun. There were curves and switchbacks enough for both of us. Sad we did not have a proper car, e.g., something out of the Porsche line, but the Volvo was nimble, manual/automatic transmission and plenty comfortable. It was all good. At one point, I noticed John braced against the console, the door and the roof of the car. I asked if I should slow down. He simply said, “You’re having fun, go for it!” He got his turn too, have no doubt!

Arriving in the Redwood forests is like traveling back in time. There is a sense of awe and wonder that words cannot do justice by. These trees are some of the oldest living things known on earth. As linear, short-lived humans, wrapping your mind around 1500 to 2000 years of life is very hard to do. As you stare up at their 300ft+ height, you can’t help but wish these trees could talk. I would love to sit and talk to them about what they have seen, what they have survived, and what it is like to stand for 1500 years, just existing. There is majesty that is unparalleled by anything humans have ever tried to accomplish. Of course, I had to know more about the trees, so when we got home, we looked up lots of things. Another post, I promise. Rest assured, the experience of standing with these giants is beyond description. One of the highlights was the Avenue of Giants. This 32-mile stretch of old Hwy 101 curves thru virgin, old growth forests of Redwoods. I wish I could adequately describe the immensity of driving through the forests and the calm that seemed to pervade the air that breezed through the trees and the forest undergrowth. For me, this was a spiritual cathedral like no other.

32 miles took 5 hours. It was that good.

Once we had our fill of Redwoods, OK when we just decided to leave, we went south on HWY 5 and over to Yosemite National Park. This place is huge! I had not really planned for this part of the trip as we had not really thought we would get that far east. But here we were, entering the park. We got there a bit late, but ended up with a great campsite in White Wolf on the northern part of Yosemite. This park is home to Mountain Lion, Brown Bear, Wolves, Coyotes and everything else in between. 90% of Yosemite is wild and undeveloped. It is gorgeous! Gathering firewood is allowed so once shelter was erected; we went off to gather firewood. I must admit, my senses were on high alert. It was utterly silent and with each drop of firewood, it was as if you fired a rifle. I kept thinking we looked like prime mountain lion food. I was sorta happy to have gathered firewood and be back in the car. Puts things in perspective, I would say. Once back at camp, John, a.k.a., Pyro-man, got a roaring fire started and I got dinner cooking. Simple fair, but yummy. Of course, we burned anything we could find as we had the whole trip. Pyro is in both of our names!

We slept really well as the temperature at 8000 feet got pretty chilly. Top quality gear is a must and our sleeping bags and the sleeping mats were great! Breakfast was cooked the next morning and the day of hiking began. We went to the base of Yosemite Falls. The falls were not so much falls as there is a drought in CA. Dallas seems to be getting all of CA’s rain. So the falls were a trickle. Our next adventure was Vernal Falls via Mist Trail. This hike is 3 miles round trip and labeled as “moderate.” So it took about 2 hours to go up, and I mean up every step of the way, and about 40 minutes to go down. It was straight up! The falls were spectacular and the water very cold! We played in the water and drenched our shirts so as not to over heat. Once at the top of the falls, we stayed and watched people play in Emerald Lake, a beautiful, emerald green pool that is just ahead of the falls. There is enough room to stay clear of the rushing falls and everyone seemed to be having lots of fun.

Here, we encountered possibly the fattest squirrels I have ever seen. They were grossly obese! Obviously people fed them even though you are educated not to. And so very bold! We have pics of one of the larger, most fat squirrels on my pack, pulling and biting at the mesh to get to the trash! I was sitting right there next to him! He just looked at me with a “you don’t mind do you?” look on his little face and went after it! Really funny fat squirrels!!

We hiked down after a bite, some water and some much needed relaxation. By the end of the trek down, my legs were shaking but I was happy to have seen something so beautiful.

The last day, we agreed that we should make it a full tour of “B.A.T.” (Big Ass Trees) and go see one of the three stands of giant Sequoias. There are three groves of them in Yosemite and we chose to go to Mariposa Grove, on the southern side of Yosemite. This was also home to the largest of the giant Sequoias in Yosemite, the Grizzly tree. Sequoias and Redwoods are of the same family. They differ in some very unique ways that I’ll post about later. However the Sequoias’ majesty is just as impressive if not more so than the Redwoods. Although not as tall as the Redwoods, they have larger trunks and denser wood. Again, spectacular! And so endangered. It seems they could endure the last 2000 to 3000 years but humans seem to be exceptionally destructive to them. Amazing how we seem to have that affect on things. We spent a couple hours touring the Sequoias and were still sad to part from their company.

Our drive out of Yosemite proved to be another adventure in and of itself! John had packed the GPS, which proved to be invaluable, the whole trip. Don’t get me wrong, I had maps and I know how to use them, but this little jewel is just great! We were on the south side of Yosemite and requested the shortest route to San Jose. We proceeded on and the GPS began telling me (I was driving at the time) of an up-coming left turn. John and GPS in unison began saying “turn left! Here!” I missed the turn and looked back once I had pulled into a parking lot. Turn where? “On that road back there,” replied John. “What road? That’s not a road!”

Oh, but it was.

It was a mountain road, with a warning sign reading, “Not recommended for two-wheel drive vehicles.”

What the hell?

Off we went.

Thus, quote number three: “That’s not a road!!”

This was a sand and dirt road with trees on once side and mountain drop off on the other in the middle of nowhere. At one point the GPS totally lost signal at which point John said WTF, just drive on! Adventure is so good! It was a great deal of fun!

The best part?

We realized we were traversing the Sierra Mountains after we saw a couple of Sierra park signs. At one point we topped a turn and the trees opened up and the most jaw-dropping spectacular vista ever was open to view. Layers of purple, blue, red, pink and gold dressed the valley as far as the eye could see. The mountain sides and trees could all be seen drenched in color from the ever-lowering sun. Picture after picture we took and then just stood there in awe. It was incredible. I couldn’t speak from trying to take in the beauty of it all. We did finally decide to push on as we still had no clue as to where we really were and it was getting late. We figured the worst that could happen was we would have to camp again. We had all the gear, no big deal! As we started to get back into the car, John asks, “Do you mind if I drive?”

Well, of course not. But I had to quip, “Is my driving making you nervous?” “Yes, a little,” came his answer. I just laughed and threw the keys over. To his defense, I had run over a couple things because I was looking at scenery. It was just so beautiful!

We did finally get back to civilization and realized we found a free, unmonitored way in and out of Yosemite. Who knew?

The rest of the drive was pretty plain Jane except I became totally fascinated by the wind farms along the side of I-140. Wind Farms…farming wind. That is just funny! I took pics of these and again, had to look up how they work when we got back.

Maybe I am easily amused….

Always ask the question, I suppose.

I will try to get pics posted later, as we have over 1000 to go thru. Yes, I really mean over 1000 photos.

The beauty of digital!!

In summary:

Things to not go again without:

Water purifier

More socks

Pack with hip strap & chest strap

Camel back!

We both agreed that when/if we get back again to Yosemite, backpacking is the way to go. We want to hike the half dome in the event we return. It is a strenuous 17 mile round trip hike that is very straight up.

I feel the same way about Yellowstone. When I return I will backpack. I think it would be the best way to see the park, on its terms.

Miniature Pinscher-Defined

The AKC states this dogs has the following description:

General Appearance The Miniature Pinscher is structurally a well balanced, sturdy, compact, short-coupled, smooth-coated dog. He naturally is well groomed, proud, vigorous and alert. Characteristic traits are his hackney-like action, fearless animation, complete self-possession, and his spirited presence.

Having lived with one for a bit now, his is my new definition of Min-Pin's characteristics:

• Small dog of black and tan coloring that believes he is 100lbs and bullet proof
• "vigorous" should translate into "snorts one-to-two lines of cocaine every morning"
• No matter how hard you try, you cannot locate the stash of cocaine
• Believes 0520 is the best time to sing at the top of his lungs
• Advice for above, sleep with the bedroom door shut
• Loves chew toys that are twice his size
• A show of affection is grooming you for fleas: doing that front teeth only bite-bite-bite thing on you and/or your $300 Pottery Barn duvet!
• Advice for above: Do Not allow on bed
• Walk on leash at your own risk, cat-like reflexes are necessary so as not to become ensnarded in leash by dog
• Advice for above, walk anyway, it wears off the cocaine
• Best advice, when you can't hear the dog, GO LOOK, because he is digging out of the yard!
• He loves mud
• Did I mention he loves mud, espcially the slimy kind??

It is all about Respect

I have been thinking about this for a long time.
Those of you who know me might be surprised at this post for I do not discuss my private life.
This will be the first and last time I do.

I have thought a great deal about my divorce, now settled for slightly more than two years. One complaint my Ex had was his perception I did not respect him.

I have thought a lot about this. Was that true? Or was it yet again a judgment of me with a measure stick that did not apply?

I have come to this conclusion. In order for someone to be in a relationship that is mutually beneficial, mutually loving and mutually supportive, both people have to have respect for one another as individuals.

That respect begins within one's self. If you do not have self respect, your counter part will not respect you --he/she may not even be aware that they don't respect you.

My Ex did not make it a priority to take care of himself mentally, physically or psychologically. I think he was right in the idea that I did not respect him.
For if you do not take care of you, you do not take care of "us."

The things that garnered respect in his eyes were not the things I most respected personally and vice versa.

He also, I think, had a lack of respect for me in some areas too. This was somewhat my fault as well. I did not fight like he did.

For someone to respect you, you have to speak to them in a language they "hear." I use words to express myself that are generally devoid of emotion especially in a heated situation. He was just the opposite.

So when decisions were made and my foot was put down about something, if he did it anyway that was a flagrant F****!! You to my face. But because I did not go nuclear about it, I got ran over and disrespected even though I don't think he really meant it that way.
I just did not believe nor do I now, that his behavior was my responsibility.

But we did not speak the same language. He could only hear drama and emotive arguments that could be loud and accusatory. I was really capable of only words and and a lack of emotion, as I get quieter the more angry I become. Because of the violent temper I do possess, I do not continue to allow things to escalate, I would rather quite and come back later calmer. He liked the fireworks.

Do not mistake the fact I am truly happily divorced and know I made the right decision albeit a horrifically difficult one.

My Ex did admit one time that if I had acted the way he did in many of our fights, we would not have stayed married as long as we did. He was right on that.
But how unfair. You get to be ballistic and I can't?
Even if I had wanted to, this is not the type of interaction I wanted to live with.

Not only is respect of paramount importance but so is fairness. However your mate acts, you should get to as well. Otherwise, why bother?

People treat you how you allow them to.
Period.

Our family/spouse (s) can take advantage of that. They can take advantage of the fact we are close to them.
This is a mistake I do not intend to repeat.
It is my responsibility to speak up and be heard. I just have a much better education on how to pick someone who speaks the same language.

So far, I think I have picked really well.

When is it time to give up?

My mom has always said she would never give up on any of her kids. I commend her on such strength.

Everyone one of my siblings has surmounted the raising we endured and put a life together with the exception of my sister.

That is what I had thought until I got a phone call from her this evening.
I guess you should never give up on people.
Basically she called for some moral support on choosing to drastically change her life.
I cannot be more ecstatic!!

Everyone deserves to be happy and to have a life they choose and that they love. She is not different. Regardless of the decisions one makes and the mistakes we are part of (I have some whoppers of my own), everyone deserves to have a good life and be happy, safe and loved.

I have faith that she will do well. She has a plan. She has a time frame.
I told her I loved her and that I had faith in her.
I am so happy for her.

So, is there a time when you should ever give up on someone?
I don't really know. I do know that I can still have hope without letting someone cause me pain. It is hard to distance yourself, especially when it is family or someone you know is so deserving of something better, but you have to be able to let it go. I am so happy she finally has chosen for herself to have something better!!

When people want to change, you can help. When they don't or don't see any reason to, nothing you do can be useful.
I think when it is at that point, you walk away. I had walked away from her and her lifestyle for many years. I am here if she wants to make different decisions.
Sister, you go girl!!