Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Dying, We Will All Get There

With all our medical technology, I am starting to worry we have lost sight of making the inevitable good.  Yes, death can be good.  We all die, it’s not “optional” as one palliative nurse pointed out in her lecture. Our culture has so isolated aging and death that dying has now become a terrifying subject.  People do behave as if this natural progress of life is "optional" and are often shocked when they are told their loved one has reached the end of his or her life.  Never mind their loved one is 95.

Medical technology has, in my opinion, out-stripped our humanity.  Just because we can does not always mean we should.  Our technology can help and enhance but often, these days I feel we extend death, and I feel we do this at the bedside more often than we extend life. 
Everyone is going to die, at least make it honorable and dignified.  Comfort and being surrounded by family and friends should be the priority, not extending existence for as long as possible, with tubes, lines, drugs and pain all while in a foreign environment of a hospital.  
Just as we should embrace life, so should we embrace death.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

What Next...?

I think I have finally come to the decision of what to do next....

I know I want to do something else in the future as far as nursing.  But what?  A masters to teach?  Nurse practitioner?  What to do? all means more school.  Even with a love of learning, more school is not interesting to me at this time.

But, one must press forward. 

I think finally I have made a choice.  NP.  I think I could be very happy adminstering primary care to a patient population.  I love what I do now, but I know, one day, I won't.  I would like to be able to leave BEFORE I make everyone around me miserable, not to mention myself!

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Watching Grass Grow

I am someone who does well alone.  Not to say I don't need companionship, I just do well alone too.  But sometimes, I feel I need to just "be" and do quiet watch the grass grow in my backyard.  I love my yard, with its lush St Augustine blanket of green.  It is completely shaded by pecan tress so being outside, even when it is hot, is ok.
I guess growing up with horses instilled a fundamental need for quietude.  I really need to turn down the stimulation and tune in to me and those things around me that mother nature provides.
It is calming and therapeutic.
I like my life.

Sweat, sweat and more sweat!

Today, at the invitation from a friend (thanks Beth!!) I went to American Power Yoga studio.  This is my first time at a real yoga studio, not just a gym.  I have been practicing yoga off and on for about 2 years.  I really love it and it is now become a 'need' that I have to fill.

This was not Bikram yoga, but 'warm' yoga as the room was about 85F.  I did not get overheated, but a river of sweat ran off of me the entire time.  It was completely cleansing, and I felt invigorated thereafter.  I plan to go tomorrow as well to see how I feel.  I can definitely understand why people choose to practice yoga at a studio, it was a different energy, a different feel entirely.
It was great!  I highly recommend it.

Saturday, June 09, 2012

Just think about this...

The place between serenity and rage.

Where is that and what lies there?

Tuesday, May 29, 2012


Secretly, I want to be a writer.  I guess it's no secret now.  I started this blog several years ago in an effort to improve my poor writing skills.  Obviously, there is always room for continued improvement!

That said, I still have the desire to write.  For sanity's sake a kept a journal as a child, and a I think writing has always given me peace.  These days I find myself reading stories not only for entertainment or education but also with an analytical eye in order to recognize writing styles, point of view, how the author engages the reader's mind into creating a mental picture...all of these things I now seem to want to be aware of as if filling this information for future reference.

I have been writing, scenes, scenarios, reading other's writing...I guess I just keep working on it!

What if?

I am captivated by a TV series called Jeremiah, and for those of you who know me, you will comprehend what a feat it is for ANY TV show to capture my attention. This series focuses on a world after the "Big D" or a big death from a virus that killed everyone over the age of puberty. It is really interesting in its depiction of what people and society (if that is what one could call it) would become. As the story progresses, it is clear another faction of people are coming together to 'make' a world they way they want it. Conflict arises. It begs the question, what would become of "civilized society" if some catastrophe were to occur?

 The current rage "The Hunger Games" addresses a similar idea with a slightly different setting. The outcome is not so pretty. We, as a society, seem quite interested in the "what If?" scenario post horrific event. One would like to believe altruism and kindness would prevail, but I am not so sure. For reference, I think of feudal Japan, the era of the Samurai; defend what's yours lest someone take it from you... by force. This type of existence lends a whole new level of threat to women, which could be another post, entirely.

 What new 'rules' would evolve? How would our species (yes, Homo sapiens) handle no medicine, no running water, having to hunt, kill, preserve and farm for survival? We, as a society, are so far removed from this knowledge and ability, the vast majority of us would starve to death, die of infection or simply fall to depression of being utterly overwhelmed. The thought of such a different world pushes me to continuing a path of self reliance. As personal responsibility becomes more and more out of fashion, the magnitude of societal collapse in the face of even a small interruption of our modern society, grows to a devastating level. How would nature strike balance into such a heavy-sided scale?

Saturday, May 26, 2012


I am home today, unexpectedly. I was canceled at work as it was my turn and our census is such that were are overstaffed for our quantity of patients. What am I doing with my unexpected time off, you ask? I finished my book and am now cleaning...obsessively. I have my usual list of "ToDos" and am crossing them off. All the while the stereo blaring in the background with Pandora Radio. I guess I don't really have questions today. Enjoy your day, everyone.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012


I am almost done with the RN-BSN program. I will be very glad when it is done. My last class starts 7/2, then 5 weeks, then it is OVER! The real challenge then becomes what to do after that? What masters do I want to obtain? Questions, questions!!

Home Alone

John's plane left at 15:00 today. Bummer. We had a great weekend! We are half way through our time apart...5 months down, 5 to go!

Must Watch

It seems my most recent obsession is diet, and the contaminants our loving and protective FDA has allowed in it. With such a cynical introduction, here are documentaries on instant view on Netflicks: Fat Sick and Nearly Dead Forks Over Knives The Beautiful Truth Dying for the Truth Food Inc. and a You Tube TedEx talk by Robyn O'Brien If you want to be healthy, you are really going to have to start being very, very concerned with where your food comes from, and if you are an omnivore, be VERY concerned with what your food ate before you eat it. Oh, and how did it live before it died.