Finally Moved!!

Yes, drum roll please, I am finally moved into my house! I am so happy about it! The floors look fantastic, as I had them done before I moved in. NO carpet ANYWHERE! Original oak floors are so very nice.
It is a lovely quiet neighborhood. I am putting in my garden tomorrow. I have tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers and lots of herbs. The trees and rose bush are busily making new leaves. I will lots of shade too!

I have some updates to do, and some of it I can do myself. I will be installing my oak butcher block counter tops and painting the cabinets as they are not appropriate to be sanded and refinished...Bummer, I would prefer to sand and stain another color.

The bathroom floor, however, I will hiring. I want tile, but with a pier and beam house, it is more involved. I am also pretty sure the sub-flooring will need to be replaced as it most likely has water damage. That is a little more than I want to do. I just don't have all the tools...
I love tools.
Both baths will need to be painted, but they are not humongous, so that should be fine. There is caulk work in the guest bath, but I have done that before.

I am going to have lots of fun! This also gives me something to do on my days off.

The lawn was done today, wow, was that an improvement!! Along with the garden tomorrow, I have hedge trimming. Nice to have stuff to do!

Housing update

I have not yet closed.
Due to appraisal drama, I do not have a current, useful appraisal. It is getting rectified, but it has been really awful. This is no fault of mine, so my hands are tied, I just have to sit and deal and wait for people to get their 'stuff' together. Sucks.

Mom, however, is moved. She seems to be really good in her new digs. She is in a very social assisted living environment in Richardson. She is close to all of the kids, so we can check on her lots.

I hope, with magic and the stars aligned, I might close tomorrow. Then I could move this weekend. Living in such disarray is not good for my energy. I can't even cook! Everything is packed!

I can't do anything about it so I am just going to go to Yoga.

Adding things back in

I am adding things back into my life. I close this Wednesday and will move the following weekend. The floors are being refinished, so I can't actually live there for a few days as every surface is oak wood floors except the baths and kitchen.

Martial arts is now a weekly part of my life, I am so happy! There are classes available three days a week, but I have to see how the work schedule goes.

I have also started at the gym near the new house. John and I both go and it is really great. No meat market, just lots of sweating. I signed up for a few personal trainer sessions as well. I always wanted to do the gym thing, and I am liking it as I thought I would. It is excellent motivation and the my trainer thinks of wonderful, new ways to torture me. I have one session a week and I will go to the gym additionally on my own or with John.

My next attempt will be a regular mountain biking day. It is really a lot of fun and a great work out! I have friends that go and the group biking makes for a fun-filled day.

Maybe, by the end of 6 months or a year, I will have my life all back to its "running at full tilt" regime again!

Day Two of a New School

My second class at the new martial arts school was great. We spent the entire class doing exercises to solidify front stance and the use of one's hips for connection in punching and stance.

I really love the attention to the smaller details. The instructor (this time the head of the school) is very simple and straight forward in his description: Verbalize the exercise, illustrate, then do it for the next 15 minutes. Then, add one tiny new move and do that for the next 15 minutes. I am a little sore the next day, but I feel like I am adding new layers to my existing solid foundation. Changing to a new vein or martial arts (Karate vs Tae Kwon Do) just shows me how intertwined all the martial arts are and yet how they can all be so individual.

I am working hard to empty my cup, so that I may refill it.

Trying something new...

I tried a kickboxing class.
It was entirely not my thing.
I did sweat and breathe a little, but it was just so "rah, rah, rah" and reeked of aerobics class.
And no one could punch.
Or kick.
Yes, yes, they aren't supposed to know that, really, but I just can't go back.
I love my yoga and I love my martial arts, but nooooo kickboxing.

The other really strange thing: I have trained in a gi for so long, putting on a t-shirt and work out pants to train feels like I am naked. I know I'm not, everyone else is wearing close fitting stuff, but it feels so weird.
If I am going to be up, kicking, punching and sweating, I need canvas.
Lots of canvas.

Day Shift

I have officially moved back to day shift. Although I am NOT a morning person, this is so much better for me and the responsibilities of my life. The most delightful thing is the day I have off...I sleep till I wake up!
Days are much busier, but I love that! Someone did finally die, my patient even, but I had lots of help and gained lots of experience in the code. Although very tiring, it is great to look up and see that it is 4 or 5 o'clock in the afternoon. The day just screams by. Busy is good!

Moving...Again

I have started to pack...again. I am really looking forward to settling into my little house. I never seemed to "bond" with my apartment, but I think the house will be better.

I am not looking forward to the beating that is moving, especially since I know it won't be the last time, but I am looking forward to more space and less cost. The neighborhood is very quite and the huge trees will be nice in the summer.

Moving weekend is the last weekend in February, as I have given notice at my apartments. I dread moving my fish tank yet again, but hopefully the fish will do OK.

I hope to take pictures when I get there!

Update on the house

We have a signed contract and the inspection is Wednesday. I think this will go very well and I will most likely be moving the last weekend in February. It is not the location I originally wanted but the house is so cute and the trees so old, I think I will really like it. Still close to the train so all is well there. Wish me luck on the inspection! With a pier and beam house, I know the foundation won't be an issue!

Obsessive Lists

I have several changes coming up in the next few months and foresee a great sense of overwhelmed-ness in my future.
Out comes the pad and pencil.
Despite my love of technology and my iPhone, I still can't seem to let lose of the small spiral and pen.
I love the act of writing and of scratching "done" things off the list. I do still use electronic lists (gmail lists and my 'ToDo' on the iPhone) but that paper list I cannot escape.

I don't just have a single list, I organize my lists according to project. Granted, this makes me even more nerdy, but it is the coping mechanism that works for me. Maybe this is similar to my reading multiple books at the same time...

Make your list, scratch off, and conquer!

This past Tuesday

I went to a new martial arts school this past Tuesday. It was just what I have been looking for. Lots of sweat, solid foundation and a no frills, *come if you can and if you don't, oh well* attitude. There is a great deal of experience in different disciplines in the three instructors I met. I will see how it goes with my work schedule. I will have to work to keep Tuesday night open and then pick whether to go Thur or Sat. It will be a bit of a juggle at first. Once I go back to days, morning sword can resume as well. This excites me greatly!

Care for our aging parents

There will soon be a grave problem in this country: Care for our aging parents.

I and my siblings are in that "rock and a hard place" right now with our mom. As her Alzheimer's progresses, we are faced with the decision to opt for an assisted living environment. The average monthly cost for this is between $2500 and $3000 per month. Granted, it includes all meals, medication administration and a safe, community environment, but---wow, it ain't cheap.

There is also the issue of the individual you are desperately trying to make the safest, best decisions for is really resentful for being told she can't live independently.
No good dead goes unpunished....

My siblings and I will have to split up the cost that is the difference between what Mom's pension pays and what the costs are.
But it is only going to get worse. Alzheimer's care is about twice that....

If Mom were mentally with it, she could stay with one of us, but, sadly, that is not the case. Working full time means the equivalent of leaving your 7 year old at home alone.
Not an option. Such a convoluted issue...

What of the people out there who do not have kids who care about them or the financial wherewithal to have care?
What are we to do with our elderly population? Our nation does not have the services set up to deal with this. This is just the beginning of the onslaught that is to come. I fear the worst as the gap between medicaid/medicare and financial capability of an individual widens. The cost of medications alone can really harm an elder's "fixed income."

So many issues we have to face in the coming future.

House bidding continued

I submitted yet another offer today. I think this one will go well. It is a pier and beam house and hopefully we can circumvent the foundation issue.
It is also not a foreclosure, it is an estate and it needs to be sold. It has the original oak wood floors throughout and will need tile laid in the baths and kitchen. After a new vanity in each bath and new counter tops, it will be ideal. The house is adorable with the old-loved feel I have so been looking for. It is in excellent shape which is drastically better than many of the foreclosures I have looked at. Hopefully all will go well and this can be the first of 2 that I purchase this year.

Keep your fingers crossed!!

The Face Book Experiment

I did it. I joined Face Book. So many people I know are on it and since joining (72hrs ago) I have found several people from high school and others I did not know had FB account.

I am having fun with it! We will see how it goes. I have stuck with the blog b/c I really love blogging too.

Ski trip coming to close

It is Friday and our annual ski trip is coming to a close. I have both snowboarded and skied this trip. Sadly, I don't think I will have the time on a once a year week long ski trip to become proficient enough at snowboarding to be able to hang with my friends. So for the last two days, I went back to skiing. I really enjoyed skiing with everyone! That is what this trip is about, hanging with the friends and my man.

A great week of relaxing!

Keystone Park

I am actually SNOWBOARDING!! Yes, that means I am making it down the mountain, connecting my turns and not on my ass the entire trip!! I am still kinda bruised - especially the knees- but overall, much better and loving every minute of it! The learning curve is so very steep, but I am on my way to being a real snowboarder.

To Write or not?

I have been toying with the idea of writing; letters, short stories, maybe a novel (one day). I have always thought writing would be somewhat "taboo" for me as my writing has always been so poor. That whole failing English twice before I passed it did nothing for my confidence either. This is why I originally began blogging. To learn to better express myself with written word. Well, also to improve my grammar. I have given up on spelling. When you grow up with words like, "growed" and "yellur" (insert yellow), it is easy to understand how writing and speaking properly would be a challenge.

At any rate, I am reading, learning and beginning to amass ideas and story-lines for a would be book. Maybe a short story first....but I am really thinking about it.
I am going to try. I mean really try it out! My chosen genre is a little interesting, but I think it will be an adventure!

On to the next one...

Well, the housing bid fell through as it had foundation issues and we could not come to an agreement on who pays to fix it.
Heavy sigh...
They won't be able to get rid of it b/c a mortgage co., won't write a note on a house with foundation damage.

Well, there are plenty out there!
Onward!

Holiday Wish

For this holiday I wish everyone:

Health - for it is priceless and cannot be gifted
Warmth - In the heart, in the home and in the house!
Friendship - A blessing we just seem to miss the importance of until you find an old friend..or a new one!
Love - It adds such meaning to life and those who possess it unconditionally for those around them
Contentment - Contentment in what you have, where you are, and where you want to head to
The capacity to learn - it sure beats the hell out of re-inventing the wheel and it is a lot less painful

Happy holidays!!

Haivng a cold blows!

It does it blows! All the time...You blow your nose and then you blow your nose again....
It blows!!

Housing continued...

I bid on a house today. A foreclosure, a great deal and it will make perfect rental property when I move on. At just shy of 1200 sqft, it is the perfect size for me! I will know if all goes well and the offer is accepted in a few days. The price is so great, even with all taxes, insurance and mortgage, it will be more than $200 less than my rent.
Amazing.

My Realtor states that 1 in 10 homes will foreclose in 2009. That's the estimate.
Very scary...
However, a feeding frenzy for investors.

At any rate, this will begin my real estate investing. My goal would be to purchase one more before the end of 2009.
We will see....

I am scared, excited, cautious and curious. What will I learn next?? I have wanted to do this for a very long time and have spent quite a lot of energy getting ready to do this.

Well, here I go!

If Alzheimer's had form...

I wish Alzheimer's had physical form,
Then I could smash it and hit it with large sticks,
Tar and feather,
Draw and quarter,
I could lash it to a large, wild beast,
so that it would be swept away with the beast's wild running.
I could incinerate it,
scatter the ashes far and wide,
there by disseminating its evil far, far away
into minuscule pieces,
no longer dangerous to anything or anyone.
I could jump up and down on it with both feet.
Squashing it flat,
stomping it to bits.
I could make it go away, release my anger and free my mom from its vicious grasp.
If only Alzheimer's were corporeal.
These are all things things I could do.

No Warm and Fuzzy

I have found that my house feels a little, well, lonely. I am really starting to miss not having a pet. My fish are great, but there is no warm and fuzzy with the little guys. I don't think I will be getting a pet until I am in a house as opposed to an apartment, but I still miss a pet at home.

Until I move into a house, I will have to visit my BF's kitty's. They are a very good substitute!!

Pets bring so much to our lives. Yes, some of what they bring includes hair, occasional vomit or "accidents" but little trouble in comparison to the joy and love they give unconditionally.

Holidays

I hope everyone is enjoying the holidays with friends and family. Although I have never been crazy about this time of year, I am having fun relaxing and working. I do love the weather this time of the year brings. The cool is excellent for camping and one of my favorites...skiing and snowboarding! We will be going again in January for my fourth year in a row.

As for the working part, I work all the holidays this year. Yes, this time around it is by choice, but it will make for a really nice paycheck! My family hasn't celebrated holidays on the actually day in many years, so it is really a non-issue. So far it is proving to be a quiet, easy going holiday season.

I have done almost all of my shopping on line and shipped the gifts. The others I have made. Some of the home made ones were food, others were sewn things. Definitely the way to go.

I hope everyone is happy, well, and enjoying life!
Happy Holidays!

Why don't you have time to go see the MD?

In follow up to my post about not ignoring symptoms of a stroke, I got to thinking...

Why do people put off going to the Doc? Why do we say, "I don't have time," or, "It's probably nothing"? Where does that attitude come from; we don't have time to look after our health or we can't go to the doctor?

I really think that culture, that attitude, comes from our lack of available, universal health care and how driven we are for our jobs.

First of all, in other countries, annual physicals are required, you are scheduled time off for them. How does that simple fact affect attitudes? I would think it would make people more aware that their health is important, not to mention finding very treatable afflictions early on.

Often times I think people are worried that if they a) take off work (maybe not get paid) to go the doctor, and b) pay the ridiculous costs of an office visit, oh and c) waste an even more obscene amount of time waiting for your appointment - and then it was nothing.....Well, then you have wasted loads of $$ and your time and lost time from work.

Wow, you just made yourself sicker....

We have a culture in the US that work is so all important. For many, as hourly workers, it IS all important. It they don't work, their families don't eat. Even for those who have insurance and sick days, going to the doctor means your co-workers have already sent you home b/c they think you contagious.

Would it be different if we could go to the doctor, be seen and know it would be a more reasonable cost?
Would we look after our health more and our jobs just slightly less if our work/employers had the attitude of forcing us to go get physicals?

I do personally believe that the attitude of health and going to the doc would be better if health care was a given, not a gift through our employer or some other grace. I also think that people would look after their health more if they also thought medications needed could be had without selling your children on the black market to pay for said meds. I have already had folks in my unit who confessed to stopping blood pressure meds b/c they had a hard time paying for them.

The expense to our society as a whole and those individuals personally will be so much greater now that the person literally 'blew a gasket' and leaked blood all over their brain and are never going to be the same. The meds would have been oh so much cheaper...

Things to never ignore

There is one consist thing I have seen and heard so far in the neuro-icu:
"My right hand hasn't worked right for a day or two."
"I couldn't make the words come out since this morning."
"Dad seemed 'off' since Sunday." It being one week later, now.

People, when you or your loved one starts to behave slightly funny or a body part does not seem to work like it is supposed to, GO TO THE ER.
Don't wait. Dont' avoid. Don't be afraid of what it really means.

In the case of a clot (ischemic stroke), it has a very good chance of being reversed if you begin treatment within 3-6 hrs of onset of signs and symptoms.

A bleed in the brain (hemorrhagic stroke) can get worse or simply not heal and keep leaking, causing more and more damage.

Don't ignore subtle signs. If Mom or Dad seem a little "off," quiz them; Date? Day of week? Year? Names of loved ones? What was for breakfast? The answers should be pretty swift and accurate.

Just FYI...

"No I don't use no alcohol"

We wondered why the patient was so concerned with where her purse is. It is kind of common that the older ladies are very concerned with where there purse is. To prevent anxiety, we usually give them their purse. This night was interesting. After wondering why her blood pressure was still so very low, we decided to go through the purse.
Things found in patient's purse:

• 1/5 of whiskey
• 4 different bottles of narcotics
• laxatives
• Extra strength tylenol

Needless to say, when she went into respiratory distress, Narcan became our best friend as she was over dosed.

Note to self: Remove belongings from patient's reach and monitor access.

Never underestimate the cute little old ladies

Go Vote!!

I voted in early voting today. There were already crowds, thus my suggestion is to vote early if you can.

I think this year it will be a hot election. I must say, the electronic voting let me a little wary. How do I know those electronics won't be tinkered with? How are votes counted if the electronic system goes awry?
I have to look up the systems and back up systems that are in place to ease my fears.

My civic duty, however is done!
Go Vote!!
Whatever your beliefs and thoughts are, at least express them!
Vote!!

The Taking of Pills

I have become increasingly interested in how people swallow pills. I know, I know, a weird topic, but one that is integral to every part of my working day.

Some people take one at a time or even require the pill be cut up. Others take the whole bucket at once and knock back the lot, and, with a upward jerk of the head and a large mouth full of beverage, down those pills go! It is as if their gullet just opens up!

There are also the ones in between (this is me as well) who can take about 2-3 at at time with enough beverage.

Do throats come in sizes?? Are some blessed with this pelican-like gullet that accepts anything? While others of us have narrow throats and can't swallow anything?

It is just interesting to watch how people take their meds. I am now trying to guess; is she a head jerker, take-all-at-once kinda gal or is he a "please cut it up into 4's" kinda guy. You just never know!

Anxiety

I found this interesting article at CNN.com on anxiety and its relation to the fluctuating economic times.
Really??
I know that anxiety and other psychological problems are real and valid, but have we become a nation that cannot withstand any imperfection or "bumps in the road" of life? Sometimes life is really hard. You have to figure out how to deal with it and get on with it.
So many people seem unable to do that.
Why?
On the same note, I worry so much about our current generation; they thing they have to have new cars and the top designer items right now. All the girls have expensive handbags and perfect, manicured nails - they are about 12 years old....

What happens when they don't get what they want later in life as so often happens in real life?
With no coping skills, it will be a hard fall.

I think that is a big part of the problem, no coping skills, no "life skills." So many turn to medication. Medication helps, helps you get through the tough part. Without truly addressing the problem - what caused you to need the meds in the first place - it will never improve.
The injury is still under the bandaid...
Our nation faces several problems, many of which are our own making (buying houses we knew we could not afford) and those that simply befall us. Bad things do happen to good people.
It's what we do with the bad things that makes the difference, makes us who we are.
Even as a nation.

Unexpected Neighbors

As I was putting boxes into the storage closet off my balcony, I saw a wasp on one of my patio chairs. As I have an unreasonable, unrealistic fear of things that fly and sting - a behavior learned from my mom- I was deeply concerned to find that 6 wasps have decided my balcony light fixture is now home.
As horrified as I am of these little neighbors, I have been watching them regularly through my patio sliding door.
They really are fascinating. Watching them communicate and groom their antennas is so very interesting.
What I should do is go out there and spray them with the most vile wasp spray I can find and yet all I seem to be able to do is stand and watch as they do their little wasp-y things.
The scientist in me seems to have won for the moment.
Question 1: It is soon to be too cold for them to do much, why are they re-homing now?
Question 2: What species are they as I do not recognize them? (pictures to follow when I get the nerve up to get that close)
Question 3: Why MY balcony?
Question 4: Is there some scent or olfactory mechanism I can use to make them go away? In light of the fact I don't want to kill them now that I have watched them for several days??

I will keep you posted on what the outcome is.

Home is where the heart is

I have finally moved into my place. When your stuff was in four places, it takes forever to move. Finally, I have most all my stuff here at the apt and unpacked. It was like Christmas---"I own that??!! Wow, I totally forgot I had that!!"
Home could not be nicer. Living alone is nice, I don't want to do it forever, but for now it is great. I can cook how I want, run around naked or whatever I decide to do. The fish tank is up and running but no fish as of yet. I will be off to the pond store soon for new fishy friends. Both the bike and the car are happily settled into the garage. I think my BF's bike is lonely, as my bike was living in his garage, but the bikes see each other often as do he and I!
I feel like an adult again!

Shift Change

My internship is officially over! Yippee! However, I was politely asked if I would be interested in night-shift as I was originally hired for days. I thought, why not - the money will be nice and let's see if I like it. If it really sucks I have a day position I can have back. We will see.

I start this Friday and Saturday night. I have always kinda been a night owl so maybe this will be better than I think. Having had to get up at 0500 for the last several months, I am trying to transition this week. Wish me luck. I will have to find things to do in the night time I am not at work!

A New Beginning

When I started martial arts almost 10 years ago, I was told the learning does not start until after the black belt. No statement could be more true.

I had my first sword lesson yesterday and wow, I know nothing. I am a little sore and very happy about adding an obsession! ;-)
As my living arrangements settle down, I hope to keep adding back to the exercise. Studying sword is something I have wanted for a long time. It will take a lifetime to not cut off my own arm while drawing, but I am willing to put in the time. It is obvious to me sword will encompass all aspects of the other arts I have studied.

I have to discover where I will train for empty hand. I will not be returning to my former school, I just have to decide where to go and what to do.
A completely new discipline?
Similar discipline, new school?
I don't know yet.
I will be trying to return to the weapons class as a whole, I love the weapons. The empty hand will take a bit of figuring out. I am sure the right thing will come along.

Lessons From the Green Channel

I was at my BF's house (he has cable and a TV - two things I don't have) and we watched the Green Channel. It is all about going green and how to do little things to reduce your environmental foot print.
One thing really hit home with me. Mail. Junk Mail.
It showed this one family how much junk mail they get in one year. Mostly this junk mail consisted of catalogs. It was staggering - a wall of catalogs about 6ft tall, 2ft wide and about 8 ft long. Amazing! The discussion illustrated how much trash and land fill you can reduce by discontinuing your junk mail.

I started to do just that. Every time I get a catalog in the mail, I call and D/C it being sent to me.
I realized that I use the catalogs as entertainment; to sit mindlessly and flip thru the pages. Why do I do that? And a better question, why was I a teeny bit sad that this catalog was no longer going to greet me from my mailbox?
The power of advertising. The power of getting something with your name on it! Remember when you were a kid and you got that first piece of mail that was addressed to you? That feeling? I think that is what keeps us wanting this extraneous mail to just keep showing up in the mail box.
Crazy...
Well, I am trying to cut down on the trash! No more catalogs for me.
It's not like I shop any way!
Do the environment a favor, get rid of the crap in your life. No more extra crap!

I still dislike house hunting

My strange gift continues to get houses sold, just not in my favor. I have bid on more houses, all to be sold or under contract or the sellers want to negotiate some other things not initially discussed. I know why that one was on the market for 160 days!!

I put a deposit on an apartment today and will be moving this Friday unless some unforeseen house miracle occurs.
Heavy sigh....

I guess the house buying will have to wait for a bit...

The Best Thing Since Harry Potter

I have just finished a series of books. I have to say, it is as if I have lost a best friend. These are the books by Stephenie Meyer, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. It has been a really long time since I have read anything so captivating (much less fiction) and just plain FUN to read. The last time I enjoyed anything so much was the Harry Potter series. Yes, these rank up there with Potter.

The four books chronicle a story about truest of true, soul-mate love, its obstacles, acceptance and vampires and shape-shifters (werewolves). It is not the blah same-old-same-old vampire and werewolf thing. The story boils down to standing up for those you love, what is right and what is wrong and accepting people as they are, knowing we all make mistakes. It is a beautiful story any way you slice and it is absolutely fun to read! Beware, once you open the cover, putting them down is incredibly difficult.
Happy reading!

The Lucky Charm

Apparently, I have a previously undiscovered gift. The gift of getting houses sold. I have now bid on four houses in the last month. A couple of them were uninteresting to the the public until I bid and then, there were several simultaneous offers. I will know tomorrow if this most current bid will hold. I really hope so.

I also accompanied my Realtor to a showing he had to schedule that was for a leasing. It was a large house and the lease was $2500 monthly. The people were very interested. I saw my Realtor today, and they did lease the house.

He now believes I am his lucky charm. There have been at least 4 other houses that I called to come sign papers for a bid but, alas, they too were instantly sold.

"What is it with you?" He asked last week. "Will you go look at my two listings I can't seem to sell and think of putting offers in, so that I can sell them please."
My "gift" is not working to my favor. I am hoping, once I start the real estate thing in earnest, this gift WILL work to my advantage!

Rain in August??

Since when does it rain in August? With this strange occurrence, people still don't believe there is a global climate change happening??!!
Don't get me wrong, I love the rain, but does this mean in another couple decades we will be in a tropical rain forest? It is muggy enough!

I Dislike House Hunting

I did not win the bid on the house, not surprising, it was a deal! The hunt continues! I have found that house shopping is the same for me as all other shopping: I don't like it.

I don't care for any shopping unless it involves horses, cars or motorcycles. Houses do not fall into any other those categories.

I will either buy something in the next two months, or I fear I will be renting. My sanity is starting to fade with the level of disorganization that exists in my life. I lose stuff, I put things up and then can't remember where I put them up (the storage facility?? Under my bed? Is it at John's house?)
Heavy Sigh....

Yes, housing must be found and sooner rather than later.

Wish me Luck!

I actually bid on a house this weekend. My offer was pretty beneficial to me, so it may not be so tasty to the seller. Considering the seller is a bank, maybe they won't care...
We will see.

It needs updating, but is functional and intact. I can do lots of home repair things and work lots of power tools.
I really like power tools......(maniacal laugh)

The outside needs lots of grooming (Enter more power tools), but can be very pretty with not a whole lot of additions. Two mostly dead tress need to be turned into firewood that will be oh so nice this winter. Provided, of course, the 109F weather actually does ever cool off. The need of fire is but a distant dream....

The major stuff with the house is updating the kitchen (new counter tops, appliances, laying tile, painting cabinetry and new hardware), painting the house over all, and updating the bathrooms. New carpet is in order, but I can probably live with what is there for a bit. Eventually I will pull up the laminate and put down hardwoods in the front room and the hallway.

I could live in the house for a while or turn it next summer. It just depends on life and what the market is like. And that pesky thing of cash flow.

Real Estate is what I have wanted to get into for a long time. My nursing career will allow me to do that, and, house remodel will give me something to do on my days off!

I am dangerous when bored....
The question is; am I less dangerous turned loose with power tools...?

Popular but Unorthodox Drug Names

Levophed - Leave'em Dead: This is a vasocontrictor (tightens your blood vessels) and if overdosed, your extremities can necrose from no blood flow and lack of oxygen. It does its job very well. Use with caution!!

Milk of Amnesia: This is the slang for Diprivan (propofol). It is a milky white drug given IV that is used for sedation. It is VERY quickly metabolized so don't run out! By the time you get back from the drug room your patient will be waking up!

Vitamin A: This is for Ativan. Ativan is a wonderful anti-anxiety med that you give to your patients who are a pain in your neck and freaking out. Everything is better when everyone is calm.

MONA: This one is real: Morphine, Oxygen, Nitroglycerin, and Aspirin. This is the acronym for what the first line treatment for heart attack is.

Other interesting euphemisms....

Code Brown: This code occurs precisely after you have given your patient a bath and changed the linens...Yes, they crap everywhere!! Code Brown! Damn why don't we have a rectal tube on this guy??!??

First Hard Day

I had my first challenging day in the ICU. My patient who was on 7 different IV's tried to die...all day long.

It was a constant day of running, no lunch till 3PM and then you look up and see that it is already 5PM. Crap I still had lots to do! I feel as though I kept it together but it was oh so messy. My charting has a ways to go before it is good and knowing what drug to push when and how fast is a distant dream I hope to attain one day.

And FYI, when the monitor takes the blood pressure and it comes back with "unable to assess" that isn't a malfunction, that means there is no measurable blood pressure.

All...Day...Long....

Keep'em Alive Till Seven O Five!!

Motorcycles!!

I went to watch my friend ride his bike at the Eagle's Canyon track in Slidell, TX. Both cars and bikes race there. The track is about 3 miles long and has elevation changes as well as left and right turns.

It was great fun and definitely whetted my appetite to gear up and ride the curves there at the track. My friend rides in Level 3 and his wife goes for a while and watches thru her fingers as he zips around the track. ( He had a bad wreck on a country road last year) It looks like great fun! I am shooting for next year as a place to live is first priority. There were all kinds of bikes there, all fast of course, but I did see another Duc like mine in the beginner class. Lo and behold a woman was riding it too!

The track will wait for a while, but it is very close to the top of the list!! It looks like too much fun to avoid for very long!

House Hunting...

I have officially started house hunting. I am approved for a mortgage and am looking for a new residence. I have found some interesting places and am researching on in particular at the moment. All the ones I have looked at will need a little TLC, but I am good at the fixit thing and I like doing it.

Wish me luck in my searching!! It is kinda scary, but I think it will be just great in the long run.
You gotta live somewhere!

Shift Two on the Neuro-ICU Floor

In a nut shell:

• Busy as hell
• People ventilated
• More drugs than you ever imagined
  
• Keeping some people alive who should be happily dying at home

I know it's blunt and I know it is painful beyond words, but if I get to be 90+ and am in the ICU, will some one please unplug me.

'Cause I will be done by then.

What You Never Think About Missing

I am sure that all of us, at one time or another, have thought about what it will be like when our parents age and, inevitably, when they are no longer with us. I know I have.

What I did not think about was how it would be if my mom was here...but not. I never thought about what it would be like for her to be here, her body, her form, and yet she not be the same individual.
This is currently the case. The person who raised me is no longer present, only someone who looks like her and has some of her memories, although less and less with each passing day.

What I never thought about missing...
I miss having parents.

What Your Gut Tells you

After two weeks of ICU related classes, I have come to the conclusion that your nursing skills are indeed important, but what really is a necessity to the nurse is intuition. I have been told story after story of how that inner voice made the difference.

Learning to trust the inner voice is what separates nurses from the great nurses, as so I have been told. Another attribute required is a mouth and the comfort using it. Check, I think I have that one already. I'd rather be wrong and learn something and have my patient be OK than to be right, keep my mouth shut out of fear, and have someone's health decline or worse. Fear is so debilitating, but I diverge...

Trusting that "feeling" and developing that ability to listen from within when all hell is breaking loose is as essential as mastering the skills I have to learn not to mention the labs, assessment and the personalities of the Docs. In the last couple years I have had severe lessons in learning to deal with people, especially people who present one persona and yet are something completely different. Hopefully, this past experience will help with dealing with all the people I have to deal with. My hope is that all my martial arts will help me listen "on the inside" as well as keep it together when the fecal material hits the rotary machine.

I'll keep you posted on how things go. Now that I have a license, I want to keep it.

The Wait is Over!

It's official!!

There is an RN behind my name!!!

WooHoo!!

Please Excuse my Nausea!

This morning I took my NCLEX; or my state board exam for my Registered Nurse license.
I am so glad that is over!!

The test is a computer adaptive test, meaning it gets harder as you answer questions correctly. The minimum number is 75 and the maximum number is 265. My test stopped at 75 and my questions became really difficult. I hope this is a good sign. I will know for sure if I have an RN after my name or if I did really poorly by Monday.

Wish me luck, I have wanted to hurl all morning!!

Two Weeks Down

I just finished my second week at my new job and am having lots of fun! I have started the ICU specific classes as of Friday.
The difference when your instruction comes from someone doing what they are teaching is incredible. The instructors have great stories to help your brain hang the information on. Everything is interesting and memorable. Obviously there is the thought of needing this one day to keep someone from dying. I guess that is incentive as well!

My first time of 3-12s in a row is this next weekend; Saturday, Sunday, Monday. I am looking forward to being on the floor!

Motorcycles

I have acquired my next bike; a 2003 Ducati Monster 800. I am in love. It is, drum roll please, SHORTER than my last bike by about 3 inches (who would have thought three inches would be so amazing...but I diverge), it is my favorite motorcycle color, bright bumble bee yellow, and it is so well balanced it is a breeze to ride! I am already trying to throw it through corners. It had very low miles on it as well. I took it at the shop for a 6K mile tune up and to take it apart to look it over in detail. The sale "vet-check" had already went well. There are a few things I want to change, but overall, I am thrilled. I got a nice lesson in motorcycle maintenance and repair today when I went up to the shop to see how things were doing. Very cool!
Things I want to personalize:

• Clutch slave cylinder
• Handle bar risers
• New tail light package
• New grips (Done already - thanks Johnathon!)
• Find a manual

I cannot wait to take it to the track!!

Genotype Matters Not!

I can't believe I am actually going to say that President GeeDubya did something good; but here goes.
The president signed into law legislation protecting those with imperfect genes from discrimination.
GINA (Genetic Information Nondiscrimination Act,) protects those people who utilize genetic testing to ascertain if they have certain genetic abnormalities. This law protects those individuals from insurance companies denying these people coverage.

I don't think the law protects these people from price-gouging, but I guess it is a start....
However, the law does protect people from premium increases or different premiums based on the genetic info people voluntarily find out.

Genetics and scientific advances in general pose so many ethical and financial questions for our society to grapple with now and in the future. These will be difficult questions to answer and no doubt we will answer lots of them wrong initially.
We just gotta keep learning...
Just because we can, does not always mean we should.

Quote of the Day

"Life need not be easy, provided only that it is not empty." Lise Meitner

Quote of the Day

You'll never leave where you are till you decide where you wanna be

Forward is the best direction….

We have a saying in nursing; If you mess up, fess up. I have applied this to my everyday life over the course of my nursing instruction. It illustrates the obvious; really, what good is any experience in life, unless you learn from it? The most egregious errors one makes with the most painful of results are always the most instructive if one only faces them and learns from said error. Pain is an excellent teacher. I am old enough to know that nothing nor any person is perfect. Perfection is a direction one strives for, knowing its possession is always out of grasp.

With mistakes, whether they are in work, person relationships, balancing your checkbook or whatever, growth as a person can come from any error. “Failing is just an opportunity to learn,” a quote often used and perfectly stated. But what of the people whom continue to make the same mistakes, choosing the same behavior repeatedly, regardless the outcome? Of the truly painful errors on my part, I will never repeat again, having learned volumes and having said errors define my person – for the better in my opinion. What makes others continue along that same erroneous path? Why not ask “Why” something happened instead of just plodding along, thinking, “Well, I’m gonna do that again, done it before…I’m sure it is still a bad idea…”

Mistakes are an opportunity to look really long and hard in the mirror and grow. Is growth really so frightening? Painful, without doubt, but I’d rather learn about the fire once, than get repeatedly burned.

So as I enter my life as a nurse and continue life personally my mantra is stead fast: if you mess up, fess up!! I just get to learn something new…

New Direction

I am so very glad that I am a Graduate Nurse! I have to take the boards and then survive the internship that is my new job. I still have lots of hurdles to cover, but I am re-fueling to be able to handle all of that.

One of the great things will be going back to my martial arts. Many interesting things await, I am sure, as you always miss out when you are not there. At any rate, I look forward to teaching and sweating, kicking and punching once again. Oh, and the stretching!!

Maybe an element of schedule can return to life.

It's Official!

I have officially graduated nursing school! Graduation is Thursday and I am so excited that it is over! I have many more hurdles to clear, but I think I can get that done. Yippee!!

Shopping in Earnest

I have officially sold Moose. I delivered him to his new home last night! WooHoo!

The shopping for something different now will be in full swing. I am going to get my final done first, but then I will be shopping to buy.
The list has changed somewhat:
2002-2006 Ducati Monster (620 or 800)
same year of Suzuki SV650

So far, that is what I am mostly interested in. I am just happy to have found a home for Moose! I am sure she will really enjoy learning on him. At 5'10" Moose's height is no issue for her!

When the Past Creeps in...

I have one more test before nursing school is officially over.
I also have a ridiculous terror of failing it.

It is so irritating when, your normal, confident, "I know I am on the right path," mind set can be unhinged by some stupid bad juju from your childhood.

I have this fear that I will have come this close and have worked this hard, and I will screw it up at the last moment. Man, am I the only weirdo out there?

My logical brain totally gets that this is not going to happen, because I will do all the things I must to be prepared and do well. This brain also knows that failure is not an option, so stop worrying with it.

Then there is the part that stills hears my dad screaming, "You don't have the sense god gave a goose! You'll never amount to anything!!" Thanks dad.

Throughout my life, I believe facing things and dealing with it up front is the only way to go. I believe that as of late now more than ever. Therefore, I thought I would blog for everyone's enjoyment of my state of agitated sympathetic neural response.
Yep, heart rate's up, blood pressure is up, fight or flight is in full gear....
Oh, that is on the next test.....

Food Rationing in the US

A friend alerted me to this article about Food Rationing in the US. With the globe being smitten with a food shortage, retailers are rationing food here to help meet demands elsewhere in the world. So much of our grain stores are being used for "PC" things such as bio-fuels, we are not feeding our body's engine but the engine of our cars. The inefficiency of bio-fuels, we can discuss later. Other crops are at risk as well; wheat did not do well at all last year and prognosis for this year is a little scary what with the weather forecasts.

As a nation, the US has to start putting needs of our planet and our societies at a higher priority than "me, me, me." The US consumes large amounts of resources in comparison to the rest of the planet. At some point, we have to stop.

Where does the overwhelming need to consume come from?
Do our kids really need that many toys?
How is it that having a so much "stuff" has come to replace enjoying life?

I was talking with a nursing student friend about when he and his wife and family of 4 kids were in Virginia for the summer. He said, "We brought clothes and something to drive. That was it, no stuff or nick-knacks. It was so much better." He and I both agree, less is more in so many ways.
De-clutter, remove the things in your life that are causing you strife and practice KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid).
The kissing part can be great too!.

The end is at hand.

I have one more lecture, one more test and one more shift at the hospital. Then it's over. Really, really over.

I almost can't believe it. It is surreal!

Yippee, almost there!

Motorcycles

I have several people looking at my bike this week, so wish me luck on re-homing Moose. I will miss him, but not his height. The only think I like really tall is my man!
I have just about decided on my 2nd choice. I have had huge problems giving up the performance aspect of my Ducati. I have been looking at a Ducati Monsters from 2002-2004. These have the umphf I so love and that Ducati sound - oh yeah. Price wise it is a good deal and, wait for it, they are lower!! I will be able to touch the ground, key point. There is a gorgeous 2004 Monster 800 at Full Boar cycles in Richardson. I am liking it more and more. It is the right color too, bright yellow!

My shopping continues, and hopefully, I will be bike-less by the end of this week.
Not for long!!

Interruptions...

Life, school and obligations for graduation have really been a pain this semester. I finally got to go to martial arts this past Tuesday. It was so great to get back to it. It is crazy how much you miss causing yourself lots and lots of pain.

As school settles down and graduation comes and goes, martial arts attendance, for me, will hopefully improve. I have been giving lots of thought to my next belt test and have practiced my demo a couple times. I hope it works out well. I also want to get back to the weapons class as sword is definitely something I want to learn - or at least try to learn.

Upcoming events:

• Graduation May 8th
• Large party to quickly follow (probably should plan that...)
  
• Work for a bit longer at UTSW
• Start my internship
• Try to keep up!

Aprilla Shiver

This year there were a few bikes at the auto show. One that I was allllll about was the Aprilla Shiver. 750cc engine, and the naked look that I like, it even seemed like it might be short enough. It was on a rear stand and I could still touch the ground.....At around $9K, not too bad. I might have to test ride those one day!

2008 Auto Show

We went to the Dallas Auto Show this year. My fav's were the Aston Martin DB9 (gorgeous!!), the Audi R8 (ooohh ahhh) and for giggles and economy, the smart car. Obviously, the Porsche is always at the top of the list. So beautiful, so elegant, so fast. Gonna have to own one of those one day...

The new BMW 1 series are great! The convertible was very nice, but I think I liked the coupe even better. With numerous seat adjustments and the BMW comfort, they should be a top seller. It think that is what my friend Jen is getting. Great choice. I also love the M6 and the 6 series of BMW. I am really drawn to the body style.

I still feel as though Subaru has ruined the WRX. The front end is as generic as a Camry and totally unattractive. I will be driving my WRX until it falls apart and is no longer repairable. With Subaru's track record that will be quite a while.

If you like cars, you gotta go to the auto show!

Sold...Almost!

I have my motorcycle on Craig's list hoping to find it a new home. As much as I love it, I want something I can actually touch the ground while straddling. Someone contacted me and we met up for him to have a look. Loved it, and called back later and said he wanted it. So I thought, cool! But, alas, he backed out considering he has been in the US only 4 months and has already bought a house and a car. Understandable!!
I will continue to try and sell it and I know it will happen in good time. I am determined to re-home Moose! Other bikes await me!
This time around I will begin the search by riding as many bikes as I can get near. The dilemma is thus:
I like performance
I want to touch the ground
Shorter performance bikes are really expensive
I don't think cruisers are going to do it for me


Heavy sigh,
I am sure the right thing will come along.

Girl Moments

I have found as the end of school nears, I am prone to "Girl Moments." I think it is the stress and long-term tired I have going on right now. Girl Moments are really foreign to me as I am not the cry or emotionally out of sorts type of female. Mind over matter!
But a week ago, there I was, not being able to sleep and very upset.

I think as you near the end of something you have worked really hard at; school, a new job, marriage, kids leaving for college; your psyche senses the change. Change brings new horizons and the unknown. I think the "new" flushes out some insecurity or trepidation of finishing the "known" and the "Holy crap!!" of starting something new.
Hence, the Girl-ness.
I am better now and don't feel quite so upset. It is just time to live in one place, have one thing to do for a living and find a routine again.
As the light grows brighter at the end of the tunnel, closer is the end of one journey. The light is another journey about to begin.
Holy Crap!

Accomplishment

This weekend, I helped move my mom and sister into a new rental property. My mother's condition had deteriorated to the point that living alone was no longer a good idea.

We got my sister moved from her place (and out of the situation) in a couple hours. My mom took a little longer as there were a few more items of furniture and LOTS more clothes!

I cannot really verbalize how proud of my sister I am. She has made a decision to leave the worthless individual she was involved with and pursue a better life.

She has also chosen to step up to the responsibility of helping care for my mom. No simple task.

Her accomplishment of will is extraordinary. She chose to have a better life and step into the unknown because it had to be better than where she was.
I am so proud of her.
She did it.

All of my siblings and I are are universally supportive. She will be successful, I have faith.
It will take a while to settle into a new routine, for her and for mom. But it will be beneficial for both.

Way to go Sis!!

Spring Break is almost over...

Today is good Friday and the end of Spring Break is looming! I have one more assignment to finish and ALL of my assignments will be done and turned in for the rest of the semester!!!

This is very exciting!
I have been busy, busy this week with all that, getting my mom and sister ready to move tomorrow and working. The week has flown by! As the end of school is in sight, I have a sense of impatience that got to me a little this week. I am very ready for the nomadic life to end. It is strange what you miss; routine, your stuff, cooking, cleaning house.....I'll never gripe about cleaning again. I miss keeping a house and everything that goes along with it.

Although really busy, it was a tough week too. Of course the end in this case justifies the means, but the means is getting really, um, stale. I just keep telling myself it will be over soon.
And it will.

It's good for more than you think!!

This is a fun article in Women's Health, which is one of my favorite magazines. It's about weight loss tips and how the more sex the better. I can't think of a better way to lose weight! I also read in Playboy last month that it is estimated that over 40% of marriages are sexless marriages. No wonder lots of people are overweight, depressed and angry. It's all just a vicious circle!!

Laughter, friends, lots of sex and organizing your life so that it is happy is the way to go! The first three are the major part of the last one! Go home and get it on with your significant other, call your friends to keep up and go work out! WooHoo!

Dolphins Saves Whale and Baby Whale

CNN has a story of a dolphin in New Zealand assisting a stranded whale and her baby to safety!!

Very cool!

Spring Break!

As of today, I am officially on Spring Break! I have all next week off and my hope is to get the rest of the semester's assignments done and turned in. I also hope to sleep A LOT. The irregular schedule I have to keep between work and school is wearing me down, especially since the Camp Summit Plague still pains me. I just can't get rid of the cough, or the nasal congestion.

Anyway, the ToDo list for now until next Sunday is thus:

• Taxes
• Lecture questions
• Modules finished (3 is almost done, then 4)
• SL project turned in (this is the assignment associated with Camp Summit)
• Work
  

That is my list, very do-able in fact. After spring break, it is three more days of clinicals, 60 hrs of transition to nursing and then two tests. Then it will be OVER!!

I can then study for the NCLEX and (please, oh please) pass it on the first try. Wow, after that, the internship starts and I get to do only one thing professionally again.

Camp Summit Lives On...

Every single one of us who went to camp Summit have come down with some awful bug. I am so tired of being ill. I am on the mend, but all of us who visited germ mecca contracted some awful thing. Presently, most of us are on the mend, myself included. I do still get tired really easily, but it is improving.

Just goes to show how important daily, regular hygiene is. That was herd immunity I don't have!!

More rest, more fluids...(does that include vodka??)

A Weekend at Camp Summit

This past weekend I was completing my service learning project for nursing school. This is basically 20hrs or more of community service. I and several of my fellow nursing school students chose Camp Summit to do our community service at. This is a camp for developmentally delayed or mentally retarded people. This weekend was adult weekend so the age range-chronologically that is- was 18 to 65 years old.

First of all, this is a very “outside the box” excursion for me. Admittedly, I am not so comfortable with the mentally retarded or otherwise “off” people. There are people who are much better at than I am. My ex-husband being one of them.

At any rate, the weekend was a good experience, even if it is one that I am ever so glad is finally over.

I came away from this weekend with a new and permanent appreciation of the fact that all my neurons are properly connected. I am equally thrilled that all my friends’ kids have their neurons properly connected.

This is a gift that we take for granted most of the time. Again, our health is something we take for granted because it has been here so long and we have never been without it.

Let me tell you, there are people who have never had a normal day in their lives.
Nor have their parents.

You could see the tired and lifetime of tired in some of the parents’ eyes that came to drop off kids. Then there was the group homes – homes where those who have no one and live in a group environment. This made me sad in lots of ways.

This weekend raised many questions for me personally; what is the reason for some of these people living among us? It is so difficult for them to be here, why are they still here? How will these people finally die? This question was especially prominent for those who are violent when you try to care for them. Right now, they are young and relatively healthy. Later, when old age kicks in, languishing in a bed or wheel chair can be truly awful.

Many difficult ethical questions coursed through my mind, and still do. The biologist in me says some of these people should never have made it out of the hospital. Just because we can save lives doesn’t always mean we should. The human in me says they have something to teach and we have something to learn. The logical person in me asks why are we doing this? To what end will this serve?

I don’t have answers to all these questions, or maybe not a lot of answers I am willing to post without explanation, but I think the answers to these questions will continue to evolve.

After all, the mind and the parachute are alike in their function; both work best open.

It's Official

It is official, I accepted an internship with Presbyterian Dallas in the Neuro ICU. It starts in June, and is 16wks long, and the major bonus is it is a day shift! I am sure I will learn a great deal and all will go well. That is one major thing off my list!

That was one goal I had wanted to accomplish; have a job lined up by March. It is a load off knowing where I will go. So far, one other nursing student friend is going there as well. Two more are scheduled to interview. We will see.

I can't wait for this to be over, to have an adult life again. It is really starting to drag. Just a few more weeks!!

And so it begins....

I am not even half way through the semester and already the job interviews are looming. I have had one for a large hospital in the area (thank god it is NOT down town) for the neuro ICU. They did offer the position, but I have a second interview for the ER at the same hospital tomorrow.

I will have a job by Friday. It is a great feeling knowing that in February, 3 months before I graduate, I don't have to worry about having a job. If the ER (ED in more "current" terms - Emergency Department) offers, I then have to take a long hard look at me and decide which is better for my personality. I don't think either would be wrong, but I want to really give that some thought.

Of course the panic has set in as well. Holy S@@!!@@T, people will expect ME to answer their questions and possibly prevent them or their family from dying.....

Christy said the 4th semester panic is normal and that it will pass. Once in the internship, I will be too busy and overwhelmed to worry...

wish me luck!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Give your sweetie a hug, kiss and something extra!
Get naked!!
If you are sweetie-less, be happy with you!
Otherwise, sweetie may not be the adjective with which you describe the person you are with!
:-O

Have a happy day!
It is your actions, not what you buy, that makes the gift.
Love
Praise
Support

If I can make it through February...

My group finished our nursing project and presented it today! So much prep and it is finally done! I really must say, I think our group did the best of the 4 that presented today. We were organized, polished and everyone laughed and interacted so well in the discussion. Yeah!

Today reminded me that public speaking is something most people just don't do. It is very hard to get up in front of people and not read the power point. I have done so much presenting in science that I had forgotten how upsetting it is to most people to perform a presentation. Our talk was on delegation to the licensed personnel. A topic that is vague in its coverage in the board of nursing's guide lines.

All we have left to do is post to our online groups for final points. Oh, and that has to be done tonight along with the HW due tomorrow, and I have to take care of my mother's medications and fill out her application for a new residence, oh and at least say "hi" to my man. Whew....

By the end of February, the majority of crap, er, school "hoops" will have been jumped through.
Can't wait!!

I am What Size?

I have interviews starting up this week. Having worked in a lab for 12 years, I obviously don't have anything that would be appropriate for an interview. No, most of my clothes have stains on them, bleach marks and are so frayed, they tickle my feet.

Consequently, I don't know how to shop, nor do I enjoy it at all.

In steps KP, the personal shopper who has also shopped with Jen. It is frightening how much help I needed.

Shopping with KP is quite the eduction and I am in her debt for a really long time. I see lots of sushi dinners in her future!

At any rate, success was had, we found a suite that is great, fantastic shoes ( I love shoes), and I learned that my sizing is "petite." Never would have guessed that considering the size of my, um, posterior, but nursing school will be over soon and the excess posterior will go away. Petite refers to my short appendages.

What is it that really helps people?

This semester includes taking care of cancer patients. Having had a father that died of cancer, I have seen what goes on during treatment, physical decline and finally death.

My thought was, other than all the drugs, what really helps?

One of my charges this week included a wonderful woman with lymphoma. Newly diagnosed and very unsure of what to expect, we had the opportunity for lots of talk time and education. On the second morning of her care, she looked a bit frazzeled to me so I asked what was up. She explained how she just melted down yesterday and all the other feelings she has about what the treatments were doing to her life. Recognizing a fellow control-freak, I told her it was good she could get it all out and that melting down was expected and healthy. You can face it when it finally gets out.

She had no idea you should look at it that way; to her, it was losing control.

She said that helped so much. Just to be told what she is going through is to be expected, her reactions, acceptable.

Cancer can step into any life. If that life is outgoing, independant, healthy and happy with lots of activities, cancer interrups all of that. The frustration I have seen is worse sometimes than the drugs.

Just being able to talk to someone who says, "Hey, you are gonna melt down, it's OK," I think that helps too.

With how busy nurses are, we cannot lose sight that are first priority is nurturing. I hope I can keep that in mind through my career. If I lose sight of that, I think I'll do something else.

Breckenridge, the final say

Breckenridge was great fun! We did spend one day in Vail, as our lift tickets worked there as well.

Unless you are, oh, an Olympic level skier, don't bother. Green runs end in blacks or even moguls, the mountain isn't marked (we had to go uphill at one point), and not much is groomed. The lift lines were crazy long, but it was Saturday. It is stunningly beautiful. The whole place is right off a postcard with snow laden trees that are so perfect you can't believe they are real.

A new development, if we go back to Breck next year, I will try snowboarding again. I know, I know, glutton for pain and punishment, but at Breck, it is so much more conducive to learning. Nice, wide, gently sloping greens, no cliffs to fall off of like Winter Park. I have to try again, it looks like too much fun--still. I spent one morning with one of the bunch that was trying snowboarding for the first time. Just to see how much room there is to learn with, I gotta try again if we go back. I have heard beaver creek is the same way.

Snowboarding again...I have to!

Week Two of Semester 4

Ok, I am busy enough. Finally! With three classes, 20hr/wk work, family obligations and martial arts and the gym, I have attained busy again. Really busy.

I like this best! At the hospital were are doing the nursing stuff now. We are taking care of 2, 3, 4, sometimes 5 patients. We are responsible for charting and doing everything right. I have had the apparently common panic attack of, "holy crap, I may have to keep someone from dying." We have been told that said panic attack is normal fourth semester. It passed already-the panic attack that is. Haven't lost anyone yet....

Our additional class this semester is nursing management. It is all online, my favorite method, and involves lots of writing. I feel deeply for the few in our class who do not type. Sad day for them! Lots of lots of stuff online to type!

We do get to rotate through ICU and ER which I am looking forward to. These are on the possible list and I need to know what it's like.

That is the school update! Wish me luck keeping my head above water!

Thoughts From Friends

One of my nursing school buddies sent this out. I thought instead of forwarding it I would jsut posit it. I especially like 13, 14, 19 and 25.

40 Tips for an Exceptional, Healthy & Powerful Life in 2008!

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Record your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, "My purpose is to ____ today."
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation , prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10.Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan Salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts .
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life .
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does .
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about .
24. Burn the candles, use the nice bed sheets, Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business .
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time.
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. So stop complaining about the weather, the job, the bills, etc. Etc.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
32. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
33. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
34. The best is yet to come.
35. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
36. Do the right thing!
37. Call your family often.
38. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: " I am thankful for ___." Today I accomplished ____.
39. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
40. Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pace. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride. Have a fantastic 2008!

Powder, Cold and Mountains

The annual skip trip is here! Basically, we are the same group with a few deletions or changes in those attending. We number 17 this year! Breckenridge is the locale and there has been tons of snow!
For those of you who read regularly, I admitted defeat this year and am happily skiing with friends! The snowboard wins and I sucked at it. I am skiing the blues and having a great time. The best part about our group is everyone skis with whomever is at their level. With a group of 17, there is always someone to ski with!

The high this week was 27 and we have already seen that. The high today was 19 with a wind chill of 4. BBBbbbrrrrr!!

I have sore thighs and my calves are having a small conversation with me, but other than that, I am great! The last run today felt really good with my legs not getting so tired. I must be doing something better!

John has already taken an entire 4gig card on his camera, so plenty of pics are a promise. Keep you posted on how the rest of the week goes!

We Only Learn Through Failure

This is an excellent article about Failure by Oprah listed on CNN.

Our society always uses the word "perfect" when nothing is nor ever will be. We are supposed to, as a species continue to learn. How do we really learn?

By not succeeding....failing.

I know personally the lessons most valuable to me are the ones I learned through truly terrific error or failure.

I like how the article also addresses success:

"Success is as dangerous as failure," said Lao-tzu, and any life coach knows this is true. I can't count the number of times people have told me, "I hate the job I'm doing, but I'm good at it. To do what I want, I'd have to start at zero and I might fail."
Dwelling on failure can make us miserable, but dwelling on success can turn us into galley slaves, bound to our wretched benches solely by the thought, I hate this, but at least I'm good at it.

I also agree with the following that discusses a better attitude toward failing:

This is the magic of accepting that you've done your very best but failed. Own your failure openly, publicly, with genuine regret but absolutely no shame, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection -- the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

What is it in our society that makes most fear failure so intensely? How else do we expect to learn? I personally believe the most valuable things to learn are the most costly to us. Why would you want to go through pain, hurt, emotional turmoil or financial expense and learn nothing?
Not learning would be even more expensive.
Wow, because then you have to fail the same way again.
No thanks.

Unexpected Gifts

Merry Christmas everyone! I thought I would drop a note to let you know an unexpected gift the holiday season.

I talked with my brother in New Jersey this morning. He was very excited about his new digital camera he received for a gift.
My brother in his excitement told me, "Kelly (his wife) likes to go do family stuff, and we can take pictures now and send them to everyone, it'll be great! We never did anything like that growing up. It is amazing to go and watch the kids and all, can't wait to send pictures."

I thought it was a great gift, he is having a better life with his family than we did growing up. He figured out how to
have a better life all on his own, and I'm really proud of him!

The gift of family and the gift of enjoying them.
Perfect.

Merry Christmas.

Merry, Happy and Everything in Between!

I want to wish everyone a very happy holiday! Best wishes in the new year for happiness and success.

Be safe, laugh lots, and enjoy every day. For each day is a gift.

Order Your Organism

I saw this link from the Washington Post on synthetic DNA and the organisms that are being created. This is big business for the 21st century and beyond.

As a scientist, I have both excitement and trepidation concerning artificial DNA and the organisms it alters or creates. Some of what is discussed in the article simply have added genes to bacteria to produce chemicals needed for an array of different things.

Another side is the actual engineering of a whole genome for an organism that may or may not already exist. A safe guard mentioned in maintaining/controlling genetically altered bacteria is the fact these bugs are engineered with a artificial nutrient dependence and thus would not be able to survive outside the lab.

Where have we heard that before?

Never under estimate the adaptive ability of nature, nor the drive to survive and reproduce. That is all bacteria and viruses are programmed to do.

The article also discusses virus creation. I'd hate for I am Legend (originally The Omega Man)to actually come to fruition. I really enjoyed the movie, by the way.

It is an interesting article. But one last point:
Just because we can, does not always mean we should.

Three Down, One to Go!

I finished my third semester! I have a month to relax and work, then on to the fourth semester--the last one!!

Fourth is supposed to be the hardest, with you having to do several things at once. I think maybe I will finally be busy enough...

Scheduling work will be a bit of a challenge it seems, but there is always the weekend too. I have tried to keep the weekends for sleeping and studying and other things recreational, but I may have to give in this last semester. It will all work out I am sure.

My grades were good, not a s good as I would have liked, but since there were no A's, I can't complain. A few did not make the grade to continue on, so I am counting myself fortunate. We are all having a celebratory night at the Fox and Hound in Richardson tonight. I am looking forward to hanging out with everyone.

It has been a long semester....

One more to go!!

Gratification of Sweat

I finally got back to martial arts class. I have been hit-or-miss for way too long.
Damn nursing school...

There is such gratification in working out and sweating with other people, all doing the same thing. The class activity is great. Going to the gym is not quite the same, but close.

I hope to attend regularly at least for the month I am off. Then try really hard to come once the ominous fourth semester kicks in. I will need the stress reduction and my behind certainly does not need to get any wider.
Damn nursing school...

I am looking forward to a relaxing time, with skiing!!! Lots of physical activity and lots of down time.
My gosh, maybe I'll read something other than nursing!!??!

Maybe X-men Isn't Too Far Off?

This is a very interesting blurb of an article published in the National Academy of the Proceedings of Science. Human evolution is happening at a break-neck speed.

Apparently our discovery of agriculture and thus a better diet along with culture and community living has spurned on our evolution. Humans are now living in new environments that require fast adaptation.

So what's a Homo sapien to do?

Evolve...


The question is are we E-volving or De-evolving.....

Quote For the Day

SUCCESS

To laugh often and much
to win the respect of intelligent people
and affection of children; to earn the
appreciation of honest critics and
endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty, to find the best
in others; to leave the world a bit
better, whether by a healthy child
a garden patch or redeemed
social condition; to know even
one life has breathed easier because
you have lived. This is to have
succeeded.


-Ralph Waldo Emerson


I doubt it will ever be stated better.

Consumerism and Christmas

I have found the commercial that embodies why I dislike Christmas and what it has come to represent in our society.
It is the Dodge Caravan commercial of the mom talking about how her son went to the friend's house and saw his friend's new Dodge Caravan. She states her son came home and asks, "Mommy, why doesn't our van have swivel seats?" and, "Mommy why doesn't our van have dual DVD players?"
At the end of the commercial she plaintively tells her son, "...your Daddy and I are going right over to the Dodge dealer to get a new Caravan, Mommy loves you."

Since when do Christmas presents involve new autos because our kids think we should all have new cars? Why do we have to buy a zillion things and spend money we don't have in the belief that if we don't, we won't be thought of well or loved or something bad would happen?

Is it not gift enough that we have health, family and life? I am all for striving for the best, but to keep our kids happy by purchasing things....what's the point? They have too much already.

For many, I think this is what Christmas has boiled down to: Who spends the most. Gifts are fine, but come on.
Case in point, one year my Ex's niece, all of almost three years old, said on Christmas morning, "Do I have to open more presents, I'm tired." I think it was over kill.

I just don't agree with such consumerism as a replacement for presence in a person's life, especially children's lives.

Be there, the presents go away.
Money is not the most important thing.

The Light Grows Brighter...

I have one week, one final left. Then semester three is done! All I have to do is live through the last semester and take the NCLEX-or nursing boards.

I am still not certain about exactly what field of nursing I want to go into. This is the definite "NO" list:

1. Anything OB: Being all up in another woman's WhooHa is just not my ball of wax. Oh, and catching that critter as it slides or is forceped out of Mom, no thank you. I have no problem with blood and guts, but massaging funduses to make them contract and bleed, um, that's a big no too. And I don't want to inspect your episiotomy for a living. Ew factor to the nth degree. So, no OB.
2. Psych: I am too afraid I will see my family there. And those people are crazy.
3. Geriatrics: It is a character flaw, I realize, but I am not cut out for the old person stuff. Or to be groped by the dirty old man when taking his vitals. I like healthy old people because they are a riot, but no sick ones please, I already have one of those.
4. Med-Surg: Boooorrringgggg. Pass meds, chart, no adrenaline. There are great med-surg nurses out there, but I don't think I am one of them.

So, you wonder, what does the possible yes list hold?? This list is in very faint pencil, so don't hold me to it.

1. Big person ICU or trauma. This should be no surprise to those who know me. The down side is I would want the best training and it is found at Parkland.....
2. Research nursing: Just do what I do now only make gobs more $$. Not such a bad deal.
3. Pediatrics: Shocking, huh? I liked my Children's rotation. I don't know if I could do it full time, but it is not on the No list.
4. After I have worked for a while, I will go back to university and teach. I have always loved teaching and I know I will end up there.

This is the list so far. Anyone out there with any ideas, I am all ears. It is a little strange for me personally to not be driven in one specific direction. This is why I am getting my RN; choices. I can do anything I want, this was the whole deal.

Go to the light, go to the light!!!!

Words From a Boomer Nursing Student

My monthly copy of Imprint, our nursing student organization magazine arrived today. There is an article about retiring into nursing. Yes, retiring and then going to nursing school. There is a passage in it that really speaks to me. The author discusses what it is that made her want to go back and basically start again, reinvent herself. This is an excerpt from that article that I thoroughly agree with:

Furthermore, a trait that I share with Dan and Gary is a fear of complacency. To be complacent is to be stagnant. In business, stagnation means a failure to thrive, The same holds true in personal life. I don't wish to ever grow complacent or simply happy with the status quo. To do so will have meant that I have lost my competitive spirit, my desire to excel, and my natural curiosity. I will have lost my sense of adventure, my desire for new opportunities and experiences, my "edge." Should complacency ever occur, I would undoubtedly grow mentally and emotionally old.

Really, isn't this what living, really living life is about?

Engineered food for Cats?

It seems that scientists can't keep from jacking with nature. Why do we want a mouse that isn't afraid of a cat??

It seems genetics is a great deal responsible for our reactions to our environment. Makes sense to me, otherwise species would not have been able to thwart predators' for this long.

Let to natural selection, I doubt this new genetically engineered mouse would survive. Cats are not chanting, "Mice are friends, not food."

Poor mouse!

China Deserves our Attention

It seems China has decided it will not go disrespected or underestimated any longer. A Song class submarine surfaced within firing range of several US battleship practicing in the Pacific.

Whether we like it our not, the world as a whole must accept that China is an up and coming new world power. With 1/3 the world's population and a very well controlled population, recognition of their potential needs to be acknowledged.

Quite the wake up call if you ask me.

I Found My Next Bike!!

We went to the International Motor Cycle Show on Sunday. After sitting on practically everything there, I found it. Then I went and sat on everything again, but still came back to it.

Why am I attracted to some of the most expensive things out there??

My next bike will be a BMW F800ST. With the lower seat option, I am flat footed on both sides of the bike. It weights the same as Moose, but the engine is lower and you sit on the gas tank which lowers its center of gravity.
I loved it.
It is also expensive...dammit!

Of course, I have to have the Electric blue color!!

Only 11 classes left...

I have 11 actual classes left in this semester of school. The light grows brighter at the end of the tunnel. I cannot wait till it is all over. Just think, after this, there is only one more semester left!!
A more pressing question is what field of nursing do I want to go into? I have just about settled on an ICU rotation. Parkland, most likely since their internship is one of the best around and you get rotations in all ICU fields: Neuro, Burn, Emergency, Cardiac and one more that I can't think of right now.
Obviously, no laboring moms, no NICU and no postpartum-yuck! Peds was OK, but I think I would get bored. That leaves trauma and ICU.

I have to start hunting for a job in January. This is why I need to narrow it down fairly soon! Wish me luck.

More Answers From Science

I love this stuff!! Scientists have discovered a laser that can obliterate viral particles of the tobacco mosiac virus without harming surrounding "good" stuff.

Kong-Thon Tsen, a professor of physics at Arizona State University, has shown a super fast laser to be able to basically molecular 'undo' the viral capsid or "packaging" of the virus thereby inactivating it.

We just have to keep looking and trying to figure it all out. Great stuff!