Thursday, March 01, 2007

One Down, 5 to go…Psych!

I have just come home from my first day on the psych unit. As some of you know, I was not looking forward to this. Between personal family experience and recent friend experience, I was simply not looking forward to going through the psych rotation.

The first day has come and gone, and really it was not that bad. Granted, I have not been to Terrell yet, that is next week, but so far, it’s ok. We sat in on group therapy today. This entails the patients all coming together to discuss what they are feeling, fears and other thoughts. The vast majority of people were there because of severe depression and/or having attempted suicide.

The real theme I heard in this group of sad, depressed people was a lack of connection to other human beings. “I am just so lonely since my husband died,” or “I just feel the loneliness come over me,” were both common statements.

What I heard from these people is this: they don’t feel like people care about them. What’s more, they don’t know how to go about changing that feeling. Many of the people there had been abused or taken advantage of in terrible ways. Honestly, I could relate on some level to how some of the patients were feeling.

Why is it that we can be so mean to each other? Are our lives so busy that we forget to care about our friends or about our families? The therapist said something sadly very funny: “Yeah, any major family holiday can make anyone want to starting using [drugs/alcohol] again.”

So very sad, and yet so very true.

I think the part I have the hardest time with is the simple fact I identify with some of these people. I know how they are feeling and what they are going through because I have walked their path.

Of course, it begs the question, why am I not also in their shoes? Why am I not also sitting here on the other side of the table? Why is it that I have not been on that other side of the table at least once before?

To me, there is only one obvious answer to that: Friends

A gift I seem to have in abundance.

Ya’ll, I am thankful for every one of you.

Yes, you too…

Monday, February 19, 2007

The Realm of the Mind

Blog

I have dealt with a few people in my life that suffers from mental illnesses, family and friends both. The most challenging of those illnesses is Schizophrenia.

Mental illness is truly fascinating to me. One person talked about how once the voices were under control with drugs, visual manifestations began of real people. Just as real as any physical person in the room.

How does the brain do this? I have always known that perception is your reality, but this is a whole different level. The perception-real to the person experiencing it- is something that does not exist in the physical world. People who are not there, voices that are convincing enough to coerce a person to act on the suggestions- these are real to the person experiencing them.

The brain manifests an entire entity or entities.
Begs the question; are we just vehicles for the entity that is the brain? Do we just house that existence? The brain makes up entire personas, some are coping mechanisms, some are friends, some are alter egos.
How does the brain do that? What combinations of neurons and synapse make whole other people that the person recognizes as separate from self but still sees as real? It is amazing to me that we can house whole other consciousnesses. Wow.

The brain is an uncharted territory right here on earth. I think it will remain so for quite some time. I hope the exploration continues…

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Second Semester...Slam!

Well, here I am in second semester of nursing school and slammed is the word.
Word....
As Stephani would say.

We are busy, busy and I am worried I will not keep up at times. I sat down this week and put all of my due dates and assignments into my palm to try and keep up. I am sure it will be OK. (Please...?)

On the job front, the newborn hearing thing looks pretty good as I got feedback on that today.
On the teeth front, I need a crown. Yuck.
On the martial arts front, my right foot is better, but still painful. I kicked my instructor and he blocked with his knee, crafty man. Big bruise but dodged the broken bone bullet.

Otherwise, things are doing pretty good. Except the weather is not Moose friendly. This takes the fun out of travel to and fro....


More later!!

Monday, January 29, 2007

Barbaro Passes On...

Sadly, Barbaro, the race horse has been euthanized. A great loss to racing. Micheal Matz is also in the show jumping community, so I was very familiar with him and his philosophy of horse management. If they chose to euthanize Barbaro, it was warranted.
Sad, but at least he is not in pain.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Another manufactured holiday is upon us.

I was wondering where exactly Valentine's day comes from.

I decided to find out. Its history is a bit murky but still wrapped in the lovely blanket of love.

I have never thought much of this holiday. It seems to be yet another method of our over-commercialized society to force people into spending money in yet another frivolous fashion. Make no mistake, I am not a tightwad, I just don't need an entire day, on a national level, to remind me to tell the people in my life that I care about them.

Why can't I do that every day?

In any way I choose?

I know we are all very, very busy and it is easy to take the ones you care about for granted.

Maybe the take-away message for Valentine's Day is this:

Remember the people you love and cherish them everyday. They have a choice as to whether they are in your life or not. Be openly thankful for their presence in your life. People need to know you love, appreciate and value the investment they make in your life.

So say so.

As often as possible.

Valentine's Day is just a reminder.

Komodo Immaculate Conception

This is a great link to the article about the Komodo dragon giving laying fertile eggs that have now began hatching into wonderful little dragons!! Many of you know my penchant for dragons! I have read about the phenomenon of reptiles being able to produce fertile eggs without a male. This is the first documented case for Komodos which are endangered. So far all the baby dragons are doing great. The article fails to state if all the little ones are female. In some reptiles, gender is dependent on incubation temperature. I can't wait to see how they all do!

Cool New Shark!

This is a great link about a Frilled shark. These sharks are very rare to see alive and swimming, but one was filmed in Japan. Sadly, the shark died shortly after being moved to the aquarium for observation.

There have been more and more of “rare” sea creatures coming to the surface or being found. Is it that we now have the technology to see these, or as in this case, the creatures are making their presence know.

This begs the question(s), why are they coming our of their normal habitat of deep in the ocean? Is there no food? Are they becoming ill more and more? Do they do this normally and with the higher population of the planet, people are just noticing them?

I cannot help but think the human race maybe affecting the planet so intensely that we are altering the balance of the ecosystem. There is plenty of theory that states the human race is driving the next major extinction.
Just a thought…

Monday, January 22, 2007

Back in School-Psych!

Yes, this semester is our Psych semester. I have to admit I am not looking forward to this. Having spent time with my father in this setting, I have negative memories of anything to do with Psych. We have to spend rotations at Terrell and Wysong. Both mental institutions. It will be interesting to see the mental health field from the view of a practitioner vs a patient. I am sure there is much to learn, but I will have to get past my uncomfortableness. Growth happens no matter where you are.

I am sure, as happens with all psych-studying students, I will see lots of the definitions of conditions existing in myself or others around me.
Please save me from self-diagnosis!!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Ice Day in Dallas

School was canceled today. I have been home all day with the exception of the run to the post office. In between movies ( The Illusionist-excellent, Little Miss Sunshine-worth watching just for the last 20 minutes!) I saw lots of info-mercial TV. I never watch TV. Usually it is reading text or reading and listening to music. Or just the music.

So, I have to ask, when did we come up with coloring books for kids that do not require practicing staying in the lines??!!?? Or even crayons?? There is this advertisement for coloring with "any tool, even you finger" and the color appeared in the picture, perfect, in the lines and with texture.
Crazy!
Oh, you mean coloring, aside from being fun, was to help with hand-eye motor control? Oh the horror that we might want the kids to a) imagine a color for the picture, b) color the appropriate section and learn to stay in the lines, or c) take time to finish the picture and make it look nice. No, can't have any imagination or personal interest now can we??

And my all time favorite...we can't possibly want the kid making a mess.
Kid = Mess
That is how it is supposed to be. Just like men are wired to look at women, kids are wired to be messy. Neither of these are bad.
The mess is part of learning.
How else would they learn to clean up??

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Round Two...

I am back at school as of today! Semester Two is underway and we jumped in with both feet practicing inserting Foley catheters. Next week, Nasogastric tubes, then our first scenario check off for this semester. The whirlwind of class is underway.

I am happy to be back. After this semester, I will actually be half way through. I will take the summer to work and restock the funds, and then on into the final stretch. Then I can attempt to have an adult life again.

Although I am having fun right now. I took this last semester and did school only, no job. Having worked since I was 12, this was quite a treat. I must admit, I don't think I was busy enough last semester, so a job is just what the doctor ordered. I will let you know what I end up with, as I am pretty open-minded. My roomie suggested Bone Daddys and now having went there for lunch (the ribs were great!) there is no way on earth I could work there. I require more clothing than that to be at work. Call me old fashioned....

Anyway, I am sure the right thing will come along. It just has to include a reasonable amount of clothing...

Monday, January 15, 2007

Home!!

We did actually catch our plane and get to come back to Dallas. Not so for the other half of our group, as their flights were canceled. They had to stay over night another day. But they should be on their plane and on their way home.

I must say, after the bunk beds we had to stay in, my bed never felt so amazing! I stretched out in the middle of my bed and loved the fact that it was,um, COMFORTABLE!!

No more sleeping on the couch because of discomfort or the lack of ability to climb into my top bunk bed. That hurt shoulder kept me couch bound a night!

Home is good!

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Irony...

Well, we are one day away from leaving Denver. And the irony of the whole deal is we may be stuck in Denver because of weather in Dallas!!

How ridiculous is that? We get iced out of Dallas? Who woulda thunk??

My classes start on Tuesday, so I have to find a way to be back in Dallas by then. Please, let us board our airplane home! Staying in the airport overnight just does not sound good at all. But we will do whatever we need to.

Overall, this has been a really great week of snowboarding, pain, drinking, fun and more pain. Did I mention pain? I love to learn new things even at the expense of physical comfort. The scenery here is so stunning. We were blessed with new snow this past night. I want to go boarding again, but I am going to err on the side of caution and be worthless today. Really I think I will just walk around and take pictures of the beautiful snow.

Hope to see you all in Dallas by Sunday evening!!

Friday, January 12, 2007

Finally!!

Well today snowboarding finally came together!

OK, I still suck at it, but I can actually tie my turns together and stop and negotiate terrain.

Vast improvement.

I only boarded half a day today to take it easy, I didn't want to over do it. I did fall another time on my hurt shoulder, but it was not as bad nor as painful. Still not good though.

All in all, snowboarding is much harder to get than skiing. I really love the snowboarding but I do not know if I will ever be comfortable going down the mountain at break-neck speed sideways....

I may go back to skiing. The side-ways thing was more than I had anticipated. Still, I do like it. I would give it another go-'round to see if I can get more comfortable sideways before I bag it and go back to skiing.

If I go back to skiing I will invest in my own knee braces and have fun!!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The baptism is complete...

One of my fellow snowboarders stated, “Snowboarding is a baptism is pain.” Well, after today, the baptism is complete.

I had to cut my snowboarding short today. I was getting back into it and then, caught the wrong edge and got bitch-slapped into the snow, on my back only with my left arm to be caught behind me. I managed to not dislocate my shoulder, my left shoulder, you know, the one that actually functions fully, but I did wrench it badly. Having a high tolerance to pain and not prone to crying at all, I was on the verge of tears.

A few deep breaths later and I had a grip again. But, yeah, I was done for the the day. I had to ride over to the Sunspot lodge to meet up for lunch. And of course, I then put most of the snowboarding pieces together. Yes, I was able to keep my board headed down the mountain and could catch my toe and heel edge as needed. I just couldn't move my left arm.

So, I took the pantywaist way down the mountain via the lift, and retired to the house.

Physical assessment:
Both knees black and blue
Wrenched left shoulder
Ass several unnatural colors

Yes, the baptism is complete.

And will I get up and go snowboarding again.

Yes.

My masochistic little self still wants to master the board.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Fear that Creeps in...

This is one of the things that I hate MOST about aging and one of the things that I am most fiercely battling to overcome.

Fear.

When did it creep in? Why does it creep in? What is it about being early to mid 30's that suddenly makes you resistant to doing new things? Is it only women that have this or do men reach a point too?

I love new things.

So why the fear associated with that?

I was speaking to woman on the ski lift about this subject. She was newly 40, and her two kids were in snowboarding lessons. She decided to learn with them and thus she was in my adult class. We talked briefly about how it was “now or never” for her about learning this new sport. We both hated the fear that seems to just settle in and exist inside your psyche.

I realize that always in life, the true battle rages within.

This is definitely in that category.

I will continue my raging battle with this entity and I know I will overcome it. I did today on the slopes.

I did also with my motorcycle as I was fairly terrified when I first got Moose. But holy crap I love that bike. And although I have a healthy fear when riding, it is of the other drivers, not of my bike.

Fear can be overcome and I don't want it or anything else to limit my life that way.

I am just not ready to roll over and give up.

Fear, be banished!

When everything is willing except the ass....

OK, my second day of snowboarding is here and done. I wanted to keep going but the ass was unwilling. My hips are blue and purple after today. Ouch.

The crazy thing is, I will be doing the same thing tomorrow!!

After lunch today, I switched my feet. I changed my bindings (the things that strap your feet to the board) from “Goofy foot” (Right foot forward) to Regular or left foot forward. What a huge difference!! I can steer so much better! I am now having a bit of a problem with the toe edge, hence the SPECTACULAR flip and hip plant that I actually got applause for. Make that two hip-plants but only one complete with flip and applause...

Thus the bruised hips.

Fortunately, from my martial arts, I have managed to fall on my hips and not my tail bone. I am hoping to keep that going. A hurt tail bone would be really bad.

It is amazing that anything that hurts this bad is still so fun!! And yeah baby, it is painful. But what really good stuff isn't? Anything that is worth doing does come with a price. Sometimes it is bruises. Other times it hurts differently....

I think snowboarding is really worth learning and thus the price is some pain.

OK, a lot of pain.

But hey, it's fun!!

Monday, January 08, 2007

Winter Park Day Two

So I took my snowboard lessons this morning and really enjoyed them. I spent the afternoon practicing my heel and toe edge. After much falling and one spectacular face-plant, I feel like I am doing much better.

Snowboarding is so very much like motorcycle riding. You have to look where you want to go. It is intuitive in that way. If you aren't looking there you are truly not going to go there! So the deal is, equally distribute your weight between both feet, look in the direction you want to go and your hips and shoulders will follow. If you don't have enough momentum, focus more of your weight a bit on the front leg, then you will go more fluidly forward. Don't lean down the mountain!! You will catch an edge and BAM, either a butt plant or a face plant depending on the edge you are on. Not good...

Really, I found snowboarding more to my liking and ability than skiing. The fact that both legs are attached to the same thing is a comfort to me. Snowboarding uses my flexibility and balance even more than skiing. Snowboarding is harder in some ways, but I found it more conducive to the abilities I have.

I love snowboarding!!

My goal now is to just practice and get better at it.

Oh, and not injure myself horribly in the process!!

Hot tub, here I come!!

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Winter Park,Colorado

It is another year of skiing! This year the gang is at Winter Park. We are in a huge house and everyone has settled in. Pictures will follow in the next week, I am sure. I am just happy to have this one last reprieve before school starts!

Monday, January 01, 2007

Another Year Upon Us

Another year has come and gone. So much has happened this last year. My hope is the next year will be more peaceful and a lot less hectic. I have school worked out. I know I can find a job, or at least another one. I need to add workouts back into my life. I wasn't tired enough last year. The workouts are a requirement to my sanity.
Does anyone else feel like '06 simply flew by? It didn't even seem to take a breath, it just kept on going.

I want the merry-go-'round to stop for a bit so I can get off.
So, in '07, I vote we take a time out.

As death creeps in...

I have a new job. I am currently doing some time as a home health aid. Basically, this is sitting with people who are at death's door. But they haven't knocked yet. It is just to make sure that all of their needs are met at this crucial time.

And it is really sedentary.

I think our culture is afraid of death. Personally it is not death I fear but the incapacitation that often precedes death. That is what I fear.

Or worse, physical capacity coupled with mental incapacity. Such is the case with my mom, and grows more so every day. I think I would write myself a post-it note to remember to off myself in the event I loose my mind. Unlike my mom, I won't have 4-5 children to help look after me.

But, I diverge.

We covered “Death and Dying” in this last semester of nursing school. This is what I figured it would be like.

Even though the person I am sitting with has only medicaid and medicare, the establishment appears well run. Clean, clean smelling, and a friendly get-the-job-done staff makes the place appear quite nice. Caring for the elderly is a job that few people are cut out to do. I know I won't be doing it as a career path. But everyone deserves to be cared for up until death creeps in.

What did you get for Christmas this year?

For this year, my siblings and I went into together and bought my mom a GPS. We all agreed that her getting lost is becoming a problem and Mom also does not like it at all. Who would? You can't get home? No way.

So we bought a Garmin for her. It is a very basic model but it suites her purpose perfectly. I have already programed it and uploaded all the appropriate maps. Most importantly, I have programed “GO HOME” into it. Verbal directions at the touch of a button.

Perfect.


Discussion with siblings, Time- 45 minutes.

Purchase of GPS, $379

Mom never being brought home by the Dallas Police Department again,

Priceless!

Running: An Update

I have started running again. I am not getting enough exercise and energy expenditure, so running I go. I am also reading a great book on running, ChiRunning, by Danny Dryer. It is instruction on how to run with the principles of Tai Chi. It is great! I have been running for about 5 days now and I have no pain. Granted, I am not running a marathon, nor do I intend to, but normally after the first run, my knees hurt and I generally hurt all over. With this new form, there is no pain. For anyone who wants to run regularly, and without injury, I highly recommend this book. Form is the key; body lean, landing your feet behind you to be more like a wheel in motion instead of slamming your heel down then pushing off with your toes, and relaxation. Hey, I can do that.

And with so much to think about, all those pesky thoughts running through your head go away. You relax, swing your elbows, keep your column straight, lean, and viola! You are running. And you don't hurt.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

The job hunt...

Yes, now that I have the first semester down, I need to find a job to actually continue to pay my bills. I have applied at three of the hospitals in the area and will follow-up tomorrow with them all. I hope to find something in an interesting field. Yeah, but job, income per se, is the goal. I have faith the right things will come along. You just have to be prepared.

My one goal is to try and avoid waiting tables.
But, whatever works....
We will see, it is all an adventure!!

One down (almost!) three to go...

Yes, next week is finals week! I tested in my final skills scenario check-off today and passed with a perfect score. Four our of hour, WooHoo!! I am having a blast at the nursing thing. I have two finals next week, one in lecture that I must do outstanding on to keep my scholarship and the other in skills lab. So far, so good.

I am enjoying all of this more than I thought possible. I really thought there would be more of the nursing stuff that I simply thought, "OK, just do this, get through it, and go on to the next thing." Surprisingly, I have yet to encounter this . I still have no real idea of what facet of nursing I will go into, but that is what rotations are for, right? That is my hope anyway.

One of my close friends who is a NICU nurse informed me the other day that she had decided on the field I should go into: Burn trauma unit. Her reasoning?

"Well, Lisa, you do whatever you need to do to keep your patient from coding (i.e. dying) and you have morphine in one pocket and more drugs in the other. After the crisis is over, you call the Dr and tell him what you did so he can write the order. Oh, and it doesn't really require lots of bedside manner...just your thing!"
I love Chrsity, even pod Christy.
I am glad she loves me....

So, wish me good vibes as I plow into finals week next week.

I did, actually feel sorta like a nurse last week. I got to do lots of education and the family of the patient I was with, wanted my help and I feel as though I was really helpful. It was nice.

It's all about who you wrap your love around...

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

To know or not to know...

If you do a good deed, should the person who benefits know about it?
Just food for thought...
If you do something that really improves another’s life, and they are completely unaware, should they come to know how that benefit befalls them?

Or is it better to do as the saying goes; random acts of kindness. Random indicating that the receiver is unaware or possibly undeserving. But doesn’t everyone deserve kindness?

Maybe it is better for the person benefiting to be oblivious. If they knew, would it change the meaning and gravity of the kindness? Is it a comfort to know that “someone out there” meant you well and you are incapable of returning the gift even if you wanted?

I firmly believe what you put into this world does come back to you. I do not believe in judging people, ostracizing them or interacting on a conditional basis with people. I also thoroughly believe that it is the responsibility of each person to be good to other people.

The ones that are hardest to love are the ones who need it the most.

Ever so true.

On the flip side, I think it is hard to gift someone with something or make someone’s life better without them understanding the how and the why or the journey that the deed required. We are human and humans tend to be self-centered in the respect of acknowledgement. I think it is important to make other people’s lives better even if they don’t now how it came to be, even if they don’t understand the investment.

It still improved life.
Is this not the point to it all?

Just a thought.
Just a question.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Gifts

So far, all the patients I have cared for have had wonderful family. Their kids or spouse or siblings have been there to help look after them and for emotional support.

I know I have blogged about this before, but there are two things in this world you should be most thankful for--thankful right down to your soul.

The fact that someone loves you and your health.

You can buy neither one. They are only gifts. The later of the two being luck of genetic reshuffeling.

Being loved by someone, is a gift both ways. Always love whom you love freely.

Your health, well, take care of what you have! Don't take it for granted, because when it is gone, it is really gone. With your health also goes lots of other things. Participation in life, judgment, courage and independence are the things that saddle up and ride away with you health.

fortunately, for the people I have interacted with so far, family is there ready and willing to take care of things. I know I will encounter those in the future that will not be so lucky.

Take care of yourself first. If you don't take care of you, then you can't take care of anyone else.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Clinical Scenario One

As the instructor breathes down your neck...

My first clinical scenario check off was Tuesday. It involved taking all the vitals; blood pressure, temperature, pulse and respirations. Every scenario involves a huge safety factor. Bed rails up, call button in reach, all that.

Having taught people marital arts for so long, and horse riding lessons, I am used to the teaching aspect that nursing requires. I was very relieved to find that I passed with excellent marks and comments from my instructor. I am really having lots of fun learning to be a nurse. Obviously there will be things I don't like, but I don't have to do these things forever, and all learning is good.

Sadly, many people in class did not pass. I think more than anything, it was the stress that got to them. I know they will all do better and most likely pass without any problem on their next try.
But the stress is the real deal. You gotta be able to tune it out, take control of your nervous system and get'r done!

Who knew I would use Tae Kwon Do and Tai Chi in such varied ways in my life.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Theory of Care

Here I am again in the Monday theory class of nursing. I am getting the feeling that I have had grooming for nursing school all my life. Today's big lecture is over therapeutic listening. How to listen, how to further conversations with patients and how to give feedback.

I have always thought listening was one of the key aspects of learning to be a person and learning to be a friend. I always thought it was a challenge to listen without harboring preconceived ideas or without having already formulated an "answer" ready for a stream of conversation that hasn't even happened yet. Listening for me is the art of mental stillness; yet the mind must stay completely alert. You have to be still and listen. Whether that be finding pulses on your patient or hearing the words your patient speaks. You have to listen in exactly the moment, you can't get ahead and you can't lag behind. You listen with all your self, all your senses. You also can't decide what is being said before the thoughts are being expressed If you do, you have stopped listening.

Then, what do you do with what you hear? I always like asking more questions.
I know that won't surprise most of you...

Sunday, October 01, 2006

New experiences

For those of you who know me, you all know I don't talk about my personal life very much.

I became divorced last year. It has been an education for my about the world of single. I am very fine with my current status of "alone." As a matter of fact, I like it just fine. Not that I was married to a bad person, but just that it was the wrong place.

But I must comment on the single vs., married persona.

Most of my friends are still my friends. It has been a very few people who have suddenly decided that single equals not worthy of dealing with. But at large, being single does change the world as you interact with it.

The reactions of those around you are very interesting. There are those that want to 'hook you up' as soon as possible. These are great people, and well meaning, but it wasn't on my agenda. There are those people close to you who understand that there are things you need to deal with for you, so that in the event you inflict yourself on someone else, it will be ok. There are also those people who think you have suddenly contracted leprosy and cease talking to you as if leprosy is catching via the air.

I really don't care. It has just been interesting to experience. I did not know until now, how much of other people's perception of you was intertwined with your married or single status in life. I always liked people for who they were. It wasn't about who they were with or who they were married to. So initially, I didn't understand. Now I do.

It just goes to show I am not like other people. I am actually really happy about that. It is a little painful at times, but in the long run, it is good.

Having lived through this experience, I hope to always treat people as individuals first, and as partners second. People need to be identified as individuals first, as spouses or counterparts later.

It is really about taking care of those around you. The individual people.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

It's a Small World

Well, nursing school proves to be a very small world. The patient I took care of this week was the father of someone I know. A very small world indeed.

So far I have learned quite a lot in school. We have covered how to take vitals, how to assess a patient; all of those clinical things. But what I find to be the most telling is the "reading between the lines" of nursing care. It isn't about what a patient tells you, it is about what they don't tell you that really matters. One of my challenges as a nurse is the difference in diagnosis between us nurses and doctors. I was worried for quite some time that I had made a poor choice on going to nursing school and not going to med school. I am good with my decision now. Nursing is about taking care of the whole person, doctoring is about caring for the disease. I like the whole person approach. I know I will specialize in some field of nursing, I am just not quite sure what yet. Regardless of what my specialty is, it will be the whole person I am concerned with, not just the disease.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Week One of Nursing School

I have survived week one of nursing school.
The major things we covered:
  • Washing hands (yes there is a "right" way to do it)
  • Legality of nursing liability
  • Mastering the ability to calculate medications
  • Attire

I am into the second week and it is more interesting. Bathing people, brushing people's teeth, generally giving basic care. I hope to learn these things and perform them the acquired number of times and NEVER have to do them again. Med-Surg nursing I doubt will be for me.

Still, I will need to know all these things.

Give me blood and guts anytime over dentures, flossing someone else's teeth and bed baths.

I will keep you posted on the progress!!

The beating that is moving...

I have now moved twice in three weeks. I do not recommend this to anyone.

But, I was offered a deal I could not refuse, so my housemate and I moved, yet again. We have both vowed we will not move again in less than two years. By then, I have also vowed to rid myself of any extraneous stuff.
This is the beginning list of things to purge:
Stuffed animals. Yes, even a 35 years of age, I still have a few. Some will never leave, that is just how it is.

Extra clothing. Does it breed in your closet? Where does it come from? I don't even really shop!!??!

Shoes, yes, painfully, shoes. I have several that I do not wear, and the new rule is, if I don't wear it, out it goes. (This just means I will need to buy more shoes...I AM female!!)

Garage stuff. Yes, stuff for the car, the motorcycle, garage stuff. I just need to stream line the garage.

I will keep the few major furniture pieces I have.

Things I will buy more of.
Wine.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Money for School

I attended the Collin County Foundation Scholarship Awards Ceremony this evening. I was prepared for a boring, yadda, yadda, yadda hoopla.
I was wrong. Happily so.
I received a foundation scholarship for the Fall and the Spring for my nursing school tuition. It isn't a huge sum, but free money is free money. The fun thing was checking on my bill for my tuition and finding that I had a $43 amount owed to me for books. Rock on.

One semester paid for, three to go.

The ceremony itself was really well run and very interesting. The officials from the school did an excellent job in keeping the speeches succinct and yet interesting. No one nodded off, not even the donors!

The one thing that showed through: the enthusiasm for education.
A nursing program graduate spoke about her experience at the school. She is a living illustration of what an education, at any level, can do for your self esteem, your future and the future of your children. She also had been a recipient of several of the grants and aid programs Collin County offers. And it paid off. She and her husband, who had just returned from Iraq, were now able to send their kids to school.
What a difference.
Truly, knowledge is power.
An education is the one strength everyone has the ability to possess. With the programs that are available, you can still get it done.

Education is worth every penny because the price of ignorance is astronomical.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Australia!

I did have a great time in Australia. I will write more later, and have pictures.

Suffice it to say the highlight of the trip was diving with Minke Whales.
Spiritual...

I have now completed the check list....

After this morning, I have completed all the errors associated with being a new motorcyclist.
  1. Droping your bike from a standstill-left side.
  2. Dropping your bike from a standstill- right side.
  3. "Hugging" the pavement at (albeit very small) speed.
  4. Having to have bike repaired.
  5. Acquring a nail in the tire.
  6. And the finale: Running out of gas.
I think I am done with the Bike error list!!

But I still totally love it!

Monday, May 22, 2006

I Almost Died Today

I was west bound on I-190 today. Well, for most of the time.

There was moderate traffic, nothing too congested and everyone was going fairly swiftly, about 60-70mph. I then realized that someone was getting really close to me on the right side. Right flush even almost.
Don’t you see me? I am electric blue for god’s sake!
I sat on the horn and braked to give them time to react.
Then I came to the realization that they were not stopping and I was about to be smushed.
In a big way.
At 70mph with lots of other cars.

Mistake #1:
I didn’t quite get the foot off the brake before steering into the lane next to me. So my car began fish-tailing severely. I couldn’t accelerate out of the fish-tail because there were cars in front and I knew I wouldn’t straighten up before I hit them. I kept driving as best I could but I then ended up facing east but still traveling west staring at all the other drivers trying to avoid me.
It is a very unsettling feeling; watching people coming at you, trying to avoid you, while still going away from them.

I decided that if I was going to get in a wreck, I wanted to be hit from behind or on the side, so I gave the wheel another tiny squeeze and 360 degrees later I was heading the right way on 190. Or would that be 540 degrees?

I finally regained control still going about 45mph in the far left lane. No one was hurt, and I have no idea how I missed everyone or how they missed me.
Amazing.

The one tension breaker occurred as I entered the highway again, having driven on the shoulder long enough to know my car was OK. I man in a ford 150 rolled down his window and gave me a VERY enthusiastic “thumbs up.”

I am so glad my near death experience was entertainment for someone.

He really enjoyed the show.

I have a new appreciation for how my car handles and how well put-together that little Subaru is. I think anything else would have flipped once it got sideways at 60mph. The all wheel drive is an attribute I will require from now on.

I love my car. I think in anything else, I would have been in a horrible wreck.

Let’s hope I don’t have to do that on my motorcycle.
Ever.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

One More Class Down, 4 Semesters to go!

I finished my Developmental Psychology class...finally! It felt as though it would never end. I am glad to have the next few weeks off before I start my statistics class. Yes, I still have to take statistics. It shouldn't be bad at all.

Then it will be the foray into nursing school! I know it will go quickly but it is still going to be tough. I have survived worse. After that, an RN will allow many possibilities.

Such excitement!

Monday, May 08, 2006

Thought of the Day

I went to lunch with one of my brothers the other day. This statement came up in conversation:

Don't marry someone you can live with, marry someone you discover you cannot live without.

I thought it was very profound. We can live with lots of things in our lives, but typically those things come and go. Our mate, our partner, should be the one element we find non-negotiable in our lives.

Sage advice.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Update on Fight Night

My Monday night sparring is still great! I am learning lots and I feel that I am getting better. I am still getting clobbered fairly regularly, so I still suck at it.

So much to learn...

So few ice packs.

I got tagged a little tonight again on the right cheek. Not too bad. I do really enjoy the fighting and the learning. So, I am still going, still getting fairly beat up, but I do feel I am progressing, slowly but surely.

It is a fantastic stress relief as well. By the time you come down off the adrenalin, you are tired.

I'll keep you posted as to how things develop. Until then, keep your hands up!

Turner Falls 2006, Spring

Friends and I went camping this past weekend at Turner Falls Park in Davis, Oklahoma. It is a park that is maintained by the city of Davis. I have been here a couple times before and really enjoy camping and hiking the hills and wading in the streams and rivers.

This time was a little different. First of all, we went in a little warmer weather than I like to camp. So bugs were an issue. There were lots of bugs, and ticks. Three of the four people who went were black belts in Tae Kwon Do, the fourth trains horses and is no stranger to hitting large animals trying to hurt her. In short, no sissies here.

However, we are still women and flying bug things are NO fun! We did in fact scream like girls on several occasions. Jen showed the utmost in composure having been awakened one night by having a cold, squishy something land on her upper chest. Said squishy thing turned out to be a caterpillar, but at 2AM, it could be a small alien. She flung it away with silence, a testament to her self control.

In addition to bugs, there was a certain different, um, demographic of the people partaking of the park. We actually moved our camp after the first night because of the 6 tents of people, dogs and children that moved into the camp site next to us at, no kidding, 3:30 AM. One of the more clothed of us got up and screamed liberally at the unruly folks being a high decibal nuisance. It was awful. The next morning, as we ate breakfast, we unanimously decided we would move camp as we observed that four of the larger men of the group were starring constantly at us as if we were livestock. I don’t think we can adequately explain to men what that type of stare feels like to women. Needless to say, we moved.

Once that was done, fun and frivolity ensued! Everyone got their junior mountain goat award, as we rock-climbed with the best. We forged trails where there were none and sat for quite some time in the cool stream by our camp site. Ok, freeking cold stream, but it felt good.

Sunday AM proved to be a really hot day, so we packed it in a little early on got on to home.

Jen has pictures from her blog, check them out!

Next time we will camp where there is a curfew on letting people into the park. We will camp in colder weather. We will have a large fire (no burn ban!)

Still, a great time was had by all!

Phrases/ words of the trip.

  • Pretty, Pretty, Pretty
  • Picture, picture, picture ( said while clapping hands and jumping up and down)
  • Yes, we are jumping ship
  • Lisa, where are we going?
  • What beverage will be the sacrificial honey bee diversion?
  • What fire ban Mr. Park Ranger? We are just cooking dinner…

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Darwin's Radio

With the assistance of Dr.'s ordered quarantine because of Strep throat, I just finished a book by Greg Bear, Darwin's Radio.

It is a fiction (OMG, yes I read a fiction book!) that is based in the current time and deals with human evolution.

It is very correct in the research regarding endogenous human retroviruses that are buried in our DNA. The premise of the book deals with these very old viruses human beings have accumulated through time being the 'machine' used for making leaps in human evolution by restructuring us at the genetic level.

It examines the political and psychological aspects of such a leap and the ramifications of such a biological change occurring in our society. As unpleasant as the book illustrates society and our government behaving, I think it isn't too far off the mark of what could really happen.

Even if you are not scientifically versed, it is an excellent read with enough explanation to follow the science, but doesn't become bogged down in the science.

Thumbs up!

Monday, April 10, 2006

Quotes for Thought

A sad thing: To survive something bad and yet learn nothing from it

In the words of Dove Chocolate: Learn something from everyone you meet.

How is it that stuff seems to rate about people?

How is it that fear can control so completely? The truth is, people treat you how you allow them to treat you...even if it is yourself that is treating you badly.

How can little fish be so damn noisy?? I mean, they are about 3-4 inches long and they can wake the dead with there gulping.

Different people have different expectations. Finding someone with a set of expectations resembling your own is worth the wait. However, you have to first be truthful with yourself about what those expectations are, otherwise, how can you tell anyone else?

Pain is inevitable, it's about what you do about the pain that counts.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Martial Arts Pick-up Lines

WARNING! If you are under-aged or have a weak constitution, don't read this post!!

A friend and I were discussing some of the fawning that goes on among our more youthful students in martial arts class. As you can imagine, the XY out number the XX by quite a bit. The conversation turned hysterical when "martial arts come-on lines" were bantered about. Here, for your entertainment:

  • It just doesn't hurt bad enough. (Ike or Jujitsu)
  • I just love being in the guard. (Randori)
  • NO, not there, just over a bit....OHMYGOD that hurts So right! (joint locks in general)
  • It is best if you come from behind. (sparring)
  • I might have to hit you with my BIG stick (Kobudo)
  • Yeah, it's solid wood (ditto)
  • The mount is my favorite (Randori)
  • Here, I have to touch you to show you the proper position (side kick)
  • Oh, my, did I bleed on you? (well, just pick an art)

And my current favorite:

That yellow and greens of your black eye really go well with that scarf....

I'm In!!

The word is in….I’m accepted!

Fate was looking out for me when I did not get into El Centro’s nursing program last semester.

This time around the powers that be told of a different path.
I will be attending Collin County’s nursing program this fall, 2006. I am very excited!

I have most of the classes already so the only big classes will be the nursing rotations. Two years of “starving student” and then it will be oh so much better!

Monday, March 06, 2006

The Ten Tenors

Last nightI went to see the Ten Tenors at the Majestic Theater in Dallas. What a treat! Ten Australian men with fantastic voices! I must admit, I was a little dubious after their first two pieces, as these were a bit stiff and very traditional. My opinion changed very promptly with a fantastic rendition of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody and then a equally impressive medley of the Beach Boys. People around us became teary-eyed at Simon and Garfunckle. Opera “without the boring bits” was an great experience. I must listen to live music more. It is a complete sensory experience. You see the performers, you feel the reverberations of the music, and your nervous system responds. It is great!

Last night was their last night in Dallas and you missed a treat if you like exceptional singing. Catch them next year. Wonderful!

Excellent thoughts...

Most of you know I do not lend myself to religiously slanted stories. But I felt this was meaningful enough to over look its slant. I hope you enjoy it. I have actually witnessed this type of situation, so it is especially meaningful.
As humans, we have so much to learn from the critters around us.

Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it. From a distance, each looks like every other horse. But if you stop your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing. Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind. His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him. This alone is amazing. If nearby and listening, you will hear the sound of a bell. Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field. Attached to her halter is a small bell. It lets her blind friend know where he is, so he can follow her. As you stand and watch these two friends, you'll see how she is always checking on him, and that he will listen for her bell and then slowly walk to where she is, trusting that she will not lead him astray. When she returns to the shelter of the barn each evening, she stops occasionally and looks back, making sure her friend isn't too far behind to hear the bell. Like the owners of these two horses, God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect or because we have problems or challenges. He watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need. Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by the little ringing bell of those who God places in our lives. Other times we are the guide horse, helping others see. Good friends are like this..........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there. Please listen for my bell and I'll listen for yours.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Quote of the Day

There are two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
-- Albert Einstein

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

You Are What You Eat...

Tonight I watched Supersize me. Wow, what an eye-opening experience. I am not someone who eats lots of fast food. As a matter of fact, I don’t recall the last time I had fast food. I like to cook and pretty much eat most of my meals at home or at friends’ homes. Even at friend’s homes, I am still sometimes the cook.

Basically, you are what you eat. (Yes, I know this makes me chocolate) If you put bad fuel into a car, the car runs badly. Your body is no different. The really upsetting issues were the ones dealing with what our public schools feed our children. There is so much sugar! Our education is devoid of nutrition classes and becoming less and less supportive of physical education.
Scary.

One alternative school, yes the school where you send “bad” kids, completely changed most of their behavior problems by feeding the kids a better diet.
Low carbs, low to no sugar, good protein that is not beef and all of it freshly prepared.

You know, like moms used to cook. I grew up with a mom who cooked three meals a day. We had a proper diet, and I have the adult health to show for it. Thanks, Mom.

Health is really taken for granted in the US. Making the right food choices is really hard. Our food environment doesn’t help, nor does the food industry.

It’s not about health, it’s about money.
Sad.

Our health as a nation is worth so much more than just cash.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

A New Semester

With the semester back in swing, my blogging is in a lull. Hopefully, once I get things whipped into shape, I will blog with gusto once again. This semester is Developmental Psychology which I am taking online. The first test was this week and I am still all A’s!

I like Psychology of any sort because it really helps to explain the world around you considering most of the world around you is occupied by people. By being only a little more observant, you can learn volumes about those around you; their behaviors, where those behaviors come from and what their actions/reactions can be.

People behave the way they do for reasons. If things don’t make sense, you usually can be patient and observant; OK, maybe ask a few questions, and usually you will be able to understand. There is always a reason. We all have our warts, our shining qualities and just plain normalcy too.

The part of psychology that always fascinates me is the nature vs nurture issue. In my opinion, we are obviously a combination of the too. I think your genetics sets you on a scale and your environment places you and your behaviors/perceptions somewhere on that scale either up or down. One can change where they are on that scale but one must find the scale in the first place.

Ah, self awareness….

Another blog topic…

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

The Devil's Playground

I watched an interesting movie this weekend, Devil’s Playground.

It is a documentary about the Amish youth during their ‘Rumspringa’. This is the time from the age of 16 to about 22 that the Amish youth are basically forgiven anything and allowed to experience the outside world. The purpose of this time is for the youth to decide whether they want to stay within the bounds of the Amish faith and culture or integrate into western or ‘English’ as they refer to the outside world.

First of all, it is really amazing that these kids can do anything and I mean anything, then choose the Amish way of life, dedicate themselves to Christ and the entire culture accepts them and forgives completely.

However, these kids are so ill equipped to deal with the outside world. They have all quit school after the 8th grade, every technological thing save the cell phone is new and having led such a regimented life, their naiveté is overwhelming. They are hobbled before they even try.

And if they choose to leave the Amish ways, they must embark on a totally new way of life.

I felt both sorry for them and strangely curious about their lives.

One of the interviewees discussed how choosing the Amish ways basically involved putting one’s self second and the community first. A great deal of self sacrifice. It was obvious this was of great comfort to many of the youth. Accepting the ways of the culture meant you would always have help, regardless of where you were. Your duties and place in society would be spelled out and generally there was always a family business or family trade you would be taught and thus have a way of living. Both genders have distinct roles and expectations. A great deal of confusion and discord are eliminated with such definition to one’s life.

Other youth were simply not able to see themselves in this way of life. So they chose do go it on their own. It was difficult; an eighth grade education, totally different schooling, a social structure completely different from the rest of the world, these issues made this choice challenging to say the least.
But the ones that chose this were happy, none the less.

It was really an interesting documentary. Many facets of the Amish way of life, its choices and the advantages and disadvantages were shown.

I recommend it.

Monday, January 23, 2006

So, how does this help me??

I ask, what possible biological and evolutionary benefit did PMS hold for evolving woman-kind? As a scientist, I believe the majority of our biology evolved because of a benefit it gave us or our offspring.

How would being moody and irritable at one particular time of the month and then affectionate and happy the next only to transition into “please, can I kill something that fights back?” and then weeping about the whole thing later possibly have been of evolutionary benefit? Or, were pre-Homo sapien females not troubled by these crazy hormonally driven behaviors? Surely they were…

We are exactly what our hormones dictate us to be. And, to be really honest, it is a pain in the posterior being female at times. Your logical brain knows what is causing your particular behaviors at the time, but that primal, emotional part of you just seems to tell that logical part where to go and exactly what it can do to itself.

Sigh…

Miss Whiskers Invades...


Miss Whiskers Invades...
Originally uploaded by lgmontgomery2005.
Well, as you can see, great progress has been make with my kitty-friend. She was happily melted into the sofa Sun AM. Very content. She is still an outdoor kitty, but she enjoys her inside visits.

Flowers


Flowers
Originally uploaded by lgmontgomery2005.
I must admit, I have been staggered by the growth-rate of this bulb! It was just a boring bulb on Dec 15th. Now it is about 2 ft tall and still has a second set of buds coming. And so RED!

Amaryllis


Amaryllis
Originally uploaded by lgmontgomery2005.
This is one of my Christmas gifts from a co-worker. We were supposed to give each other things that we truly love. This particular gift was from our office's talented gardener!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Day Three!

Today was a day of Blue Runs!!

I felt much better about turning and stopping. Everything is falling into place for the sport of skiing! The Blue Runs were challenging enough to warrant thought, but I did not have that “Oh my god…!” feeling that I encountered the day before. Skiing is great!

The scenery, the snow, the crispness of the air; it’s all so amazing. Everything looks so pristine and beautiful. I love the snow and the season. The quietude is fabulous. The silence is wonderful.

Enjoy the pictures!

Super Chair lift view


Super Chair lift view
Originally uploaded by lgmontgomery2005.
Here you can see the town of Breckinridge at the base of the mountain.

From Super Chair 4


From Super Chair 4
Originally uploaded by lgmontgomery2005.
Yet another spectacular view...

From Bonaza-1


From Bonaza-1
Originally uploaded by lgmontgomery2005.
This is some of the view from the lift. Gorgeous!

From Bonaza-2-lift


From Bonaza-2-lift
Originally uploaded by lgmontgomery2005.
This is one of the lifts that I rode today to access the blue slopes. If you look, you can just see where the lift ends at the top!

Monday, January 09, 2006

Breckinridge Day Two

Breckinridge, Day Two

Well, I survived the all day lesson! I got the boots refitted and now my ankles are free to ski pain-free! Yippee!

Day Two was also the day of the super, ridiculous hat, so go to Jen’s blog and see it. It will be worth the click of your mouse!

For the second day I warmed up with a Green slope and then did my first two Blue Slopes. A little intimidating, as I am now past the teenage years of immortality. However, Jen was the absolute picture of patience. Instead of skiing over and saying in annoyed fashion, “Get up and put your ski back on!!” She would ski over, stop elegantly and ask, “Are you Ok? That was a spectacular fall!”
So I fell a lot, but I didn't know that you can have such incredible fun falling in the snow!

The knee braces were excellent for the one most spectacular fall (STILL not a yard-sale!!) I felt my left knee wanting to go in a direction it was not intended to go. But no worries, all was well!

By the second blue run, I fell a lot less. One of my falls was so boring the ski instructors rated it a 3. One of the issues was the ill fitting boots I skied in yesterday. My right leg was so tired because it did most of the work yesterday that it started to give out half way through the second run. I had used it so much the day before because my left ankle hurt so badly.

Live and learn. Skiing is work, but it should not be painful. Well, unless you go visit trees or something. I only did that once, very gracefully, and just ended up under the tree, not wrapped around it! Of course there was the, “Oh, this can’t be good!” I yelled as I slowly but certainly entered the tree line. Much laughter ensued.

So, what's the verdict? I have to do this again. Next time, I will most definitely snowboard. The appeal it holds has only intensified as I’ve watched all the snowboarders. I really, really, want to snow board.

One thing at a time. I will rest my weary quads for the rest of the day, prep for dinner as I am on Team Two for cooking duty tonight and visit town.

Check below for pictures from some of the Blue slopes!!

Mountains!!


IMG_0001
Originally uploaded by lgmontgomery2005.
A final look from the blue slope 4 o'clock. Gorgeous!!

IMG_0003


IMG_0003
Originally uploaded by lgmontgomery2005.
A view downhill of 4 o'clock Blue slope

View From Blue Slope 4 O'clock


IMG_0005
Originally uploaded by lgmontgomery2005.
Here is one of the vista from the slopes...

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Breckinridge, Day One

Colorado is beautiful! Snow and mountains and wow an altitude headache!! The arrival to Breckinridge was uneventful. It is really beautiful here.

There are 16 of us who have banded together in renting this 4000 sqft house we are staying in. The floors are heated! Such a cool thing. I will keep you posted on how the ski lessons go tomorrow. I have never skied before and am a little apprehensive what with the previous knee surgeries. Yep, both knees have already had surgery. It has been made clear to me that my getting hurt is not an option. I’ll be careful, it should be really fun!

Below are the pictures so far…

buried swing


buried swing
Originally uploaded by lgmontgomery2005.
This is the porch swing....I guess it is more useful in summer.

Puffy Dove


Puffy Dove
Originally uploaded by lgmontgomery2005.
Everything we brought from Dallas is "puffy" considering we are at about 9000 ft.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Miss Whiskers gets closer...


IMG_0020_edited
Originally uploaded by lgmontgomery2005.
These are pictures of my new found furry friend...Miss Whiskers. I heard very faint meowing late this past Friday night. Considering my inability to sleep like normal people, I heard this little kitty voice and went down to investigate.

I went outside and called with the universal kitty cat call:
“Here…..Kitty, Kitty, Kitty…”
Why do all cats answer to that???

And sure enough, this little, rag-a-muffin calico cat came trotting across the parking lot. One look told me she was half starved, and goodness knows nothing starves if I can have anything to do with it, whether it is man or beast.

So since I don’t have any pets other than fish, and fish are friends, not food, I went and opened a can of tuna. Already killed fish can be food. The irony was not lost on me.

After putting down food and water, I waited. And I called.
She got pretty close, but it was obvious that my porch was just not safe enough yet. So I placed the food across the street, left the water on my porch and went to bed.

Then next night, she was back. I have left food out always and it has worked. She will go into my house but not yet stay. She’s got to come of her own free will, and want to be there, I see no point in keeping her if she doesn’t want to be there. I figure in time, she’ll calm down and come on in.

I don’t know if I can keep her. I am not at all prepared for anything more demanding than fish, so it may be I get her fat and friendly (the fat part is all that’s left to do) and find her a nice home. She is so very sweet!

I’ll keep you posted.

Miss Whiskers relaxing...


IMG_0021_edited
Originally uploaded by lgmontgomery2005.

Miss Whiskers


IMG_0022
Originally uploaded by lgmontgomery2005.

A New Taste in My Life

I am so excited! I have been someone who has been denied the finger-licking yumminess of nuts my whole life. I’m not allergic; they just all taste like chalk. Yes, all of them, regardless of type or roasted or salted. The chalk taste is overwhelming, even ground to fine bits of nuts that are in cakes and cookies. All I would taste was sweet chalk or chocolate chalk. It says a great deal when the taste and desire for chocolate can be completely shut down by a few pesky nuts.

I assumed I was missing the taste receptors for nuts. Or a worse thought, those taste receptors were wired into the “chalky goodness” center. Yuck.

But about 3-4 years ago, I began to enjoy peanut butter. Although a staple in our home growing up, it was, well, nasty. It had the endearing flavor of buttery chalk. Yeah.
However, as some of you know, I am not one to give up on things easily. A dog with a bone shall we say. So I continued to try peanut butter, and lo and behold, one day it was really yummy! Just like that.

So I have never given up on nuts. Why should I be denied a perfectly healthy, portable snack? So I kept trying.
Then I discovered that I can taste pistachios!! So hearty, so crunchy and with such non-chalky goodness!!

I am so excited!! There is hope for my ill-wired taste buds after all.
Now if I can just learn to drink coffee without the Baileys….

Saturday, December 31, 2005

And Now For the Rest of the Story…

By popular demand, I will expound on a prior blog. In regards to “…women have to accomplish things in other ways, and we can….”, here is the rest of the story.

What abilities do women use that men don’t have? What are the, um, qualities that give us an advantage over such strength that men possess?

Well, brains for one.
Men are born with attributes that they do not have to think about using. Testosterone, strength, focus, things that are hard wired.

Women have to learn how to use their brains through the fog of fear and adrenaline. It’s doable, it just takes some learning.

Women also have the gift of being female, something men are hard wired to notice and respond to.
I promise to keep this “G” rated…

So we have the ability to get men’s attention, this can play a very important part in accomplishing what we need to accomplish. Ladies, just be sure you get his attention with the right stuff. See the first sentence in paragraph three.

Those women who have some training can work the female angle to their advantage. For that man who is pursing you, and not in a nice way, be the damsel in distress until he lowers his guard. The last thing a man of this type expects is for a woman to actually have an understanding of how to defend herself.

Estrogen has its advantages. It makes us female, a quality most men cannot ignore. With recognition comes the ability to be heard.
We just gotta say the right things, the right way. Not just for ourselves individually, but for our gender.
Brains, ladies. That is our greatest strength.
Granted, looks don’t hurt either.
But that, my friends, is another blog, no so “G” rated….

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone has a happy holiday out there! Mine was fun! I got to spend it with my mom and it was the first of mine being some what alone...

I wish the best for all and a happy new year!!

Monday, December 19, 2005

Testosterone vs Estrogen

I went to a private Dojo tonight to spar. I had a great time and learned so much. I did acquire a few more bruises, but nothing terrible.

There were four women and five men. Two of the women are teenage girls prepping for their black belt test in March. We all took turns with one another and by the end of the night, we had all sparred one another in turn. It was great.

After that, the men squared off and did body work. Which is basically trading body hits, hard body hits.

At one point, I couldn't help myself, I turned to one of my fellow female students and said, "Isn't testosterone amazing?"
And it is, men are so much stronger. All because of the endocrine system and a couple specific hormones. Those hormones hard-wire men and women so differently.

Women have strengths too, just not physical strengths. Watching the guys go at it really drove home the point that if you are female, you do not want to be on the receiving end of one of those hits. We just aren't built for it.
So we have to accomplish things in other ways. The cool thing is we can.

The more I study martial arts, the more I feel I understand why men and women are supposed to be together.

One's strength is the other's weakness, and vice versa.
Balance.
Yin and Yang.

Very cool.

I Love This Sort of Evidence

I am a choc-a-holic! Here is some of the evidence that I love!

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Update on the New Fish

I really love my new fish. They finally have names. The Black Moor is called Velvet. The two orange and black Orandas are Spike (after the Spike in the gremlins) and the other is Pumpkin. He just reminds me of a pumpkin, what can I say??

There are some hierarchical things that are still being worked out, but everyone is adjusting nicely.

Strange New Thoughts...

This is slightly morbid but for those of you who know me, you'll understand.

Week before last I was really ill. The kind of ill that makes you not quite able to find the phone to call into work. The next day, I wasn't any better and did manage somehow to go to the Dr's and get home.

However, upon arriving home, I laid very willingly on the nice cold floor of my bathroom. Then it occurred to me:

What if I don't get up? How long would it take for someone to miss me or would anyone miss me at all?
I remembered when I signed the lease on my current domicile, I had to fill in blanks as to who was allowed to enter my place upon some horrible travesty that left me, well, dead.

It is strange what thoughts enter one's head when you really are "out of your head" with fever.

As for my health, I was recovering, but then had a little re-occurrence. But I think I am finally on the road to recovery.

The fevered mind is a strange place.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Mom's 71st


Mom's 71st
Originally uploaded by lgmontgomery2005.
Not many 71 year-old grandmothers will climb on an unknown horse (albeit safe!) and go for a bareback ride!! Isn't she great??!

Mom in the arena


Mom in the arena
Originally uploaded by lgmontgomery2005.
As promised, here is one of the pictures of Mom horseback on her 71st birthday!

One more Semester Down!!

Tonight was my final in the Anatomy and Physiology II Class. Yippee!! No more books, at least for a few weeks! I went ahead and took the optional final, I already had an 'A' but curiosity killed the cat. Yes, a demented, sick, masochistic sense of curiosity, but nonetheless, I had to know what the final was going to be like.
It was easy.
So, another class toward my nursing degree down. Now if I can just get in...
;-)

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Hitch

I watched a really fun movie last night. Hitch with Will Smith. It's premise is a "Date Doctor" who specialized in helping men who have met the true love of their lives, get her to notice and subsequently go out with said men.

This is not a movie about getting these men, um, physically sated shall we say. It was refreshingly about really good guys who just were terrified to actually tell this great woman he was crazy about her. I nice movie.

I personally really like Will Smith's acting and there is plenty to die laughing about in this film. Especially an unintentional round house kick to the head, but I'll say no more.

For a fun laugh with a good story, give it a try.

Unmentionables

I went to the undergarment drawer this week and found its contents thread-bare, with holes and elastic that was, shall we say, no longer shape-retaining.

Time to go shopping for underthings.

It has been a while since I did this. I go buy bunches and then don't have to think about it for some time.

The choices are limitless! Boy shorts, high-rise, briefs, thong, low-rise, French cut and let's not forget string bikini.
And those weren't all the choices.

I had to get my bearings for a moment before I could even figure out which style to get.
Wow.
I also wear men's boxers for workout under attire. You go to the men's section and how many choices?
Two.
Boxers or briefs.
Just two.
Now the men also have material choices, but as far as style, just two.
So much simpler.
Amazing.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

In the Spirit of Thanksgiving...

I am thankful for,

Health
Friends
Family
Furry Friends
Choices
Education
My Frontal Cortex
Earth
Love
Patience

Be thankful, each moment is a gift.

The Comfort of Furry Friends

I am house sitting for friends as they are away visiting family for the holidays. I have house sat for them before and it is always a great time. They have two cats and two dogs. The kitties are low key and affectionate... very cute! Their dogs are a basenji and a basenji mix.

Although I love all critters great and small, I have gotten especially close with one of their dogs, Tino, the full basenji. Both are rescues and Tino had experienced a rough life prior to his rescue to the house of wonderful love and care. So there is some baggage. But he is so much improved since I first met him and it is so wonderful to watch as he learns to trust again and take that leap-of-faith that this human will be different. That this time, no one is going to hurt him.

This time he's right.

So it is really special when he comes over to me, looks at me with those eyes that have way more intelligence than little doggy eyes should have and wordlessly asks, "So, can I get in your lap....Please?"
By all means.
Of course it gets a little better when he makes those contented little dog sounds, stretches, and rolls over in my lap so that I can rest a hand across his shoulders.
Trust.
Finally.
A belongingness for us both.

They give so much to us, these little furry friends, I was happy to be the couch.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

My 2nd Degree specialty Paper

November 20, 2005

Lisa Montgomery
2nd Degree Black Belt
Specialty: Tai Chi Ch’uan



I have chosen Tai Chi as my demonstration specialty for my 2nd degree black belt. Through this paper I will give a brief overview of the history of the form I study, Yang Short Form, and a discussion of how Tai Chi has influenced my Moo Duk Kwan Tae Kwon Do hard style. My hope is to illustrate how the concepts I am learning in Tai Chi have had a synergistic affect with my Tae Kwon Do kata and kumite. Through breath, relaxation, strength with balance and finally softness; all elements I have been studying in Tai Chi, I feel as though my Tae Kwon Do has attained better flow, intensity and power.

Tai Chi: A Brief History:


Tai Chi Ch’uan is believed to have its earliest beginnings from a Chinese physician, Hua-tu'o (2). He believed true health and longevity could only be attained through regular movement and exercise. Although he is not credited with a specific aspect of Tai Chi Ch’uan’s development, his philosophy about movement, breath and health are recognized as foundations to Tai Chi Ch’uan.

Key influential people in the development of Tai Chi Ch’uan cover many years. The history begins in China with the practice of mediation and Taoism. A 6th century B.C. philosopher Lao Tzu, developed philosophies regarding mediation that were in conjunction with his Taoist practices. His metaphors spoke of the relationship breath has with health and keeping the body fit, resulting in a long and healthy life. This belief in focusing both mind and breath together would become part of the solid foundation of Tai Chi Ch’uan in years to come (2).

In the third century AD the physician Hua To developed the “Movement of the Five Animals.” These were the earlier movements from which Tai Chi Ch’uan would grow from. Health exercises were later added by Ko Hung around 325 AD.

Ta Mo came to Shao Lin Buddhist mediation from China. He developed exercises to help with the health and mediation of the monks. These movements developed into a martial art having all the power and strength that is identified with most martial arts. The Taoist master Chang San-Feng created a series of exercise that became known as Tai Chi Ch’uan. He and Ta Mo had similar goals; to develop discipline that complemented the practice of mediation; thus a moving mediation. Ta Mo’s method is sometimes considered the “Shao Lin the Outside School” and Tai Chi Ch’uan, “The Inner School” because of its more fluid, soft movements (2).

As with many of the arts, over time the systems and styles of Tai Chi Ch’uan diverge with different masters, wars and leaders. As the figure below illustrates, Tai Chi Ch’uan has different branches although there are familiar elements with in each style. This family tree illustrates the branches of Tai Chi: Wu, Yang, Wu Shi and the many other branches illustrated here were each fall into either the northern or southern family of systems (1).


Source: (1)




Tai Chi; The First Element:
Breath

One of the tenants of all martial arts is breath. We use breathing to calm jumpy nerves, give energy to our techniques and improve our stamina in forms and sparring. Proper breathing pervades our life and is essential to a healthy existence. Breathing as well as the physical movement in Tai Chi should never be still. At least this is the aspiration. Learning to breathe in a consistent motion from the diaphragm has greatly improved my ability to perform not only Tai Chi but all of my Tae Kwon Do as well.

Breathing properly is the foundation in many types of meditation or meditative movement. In Yoga, learning to breathe is a lesson constantly practiced. Stationary meditation involves schooling one’s self to breathe evenly throughout the exercise. “Focus on the breath” is the first lesson one begins working on when learning to meditate. Considering Tai Chi Ch’uan’s development as moving mediation, learning the breath is the obvious first step, albeit one of the most difficult.

Learning to breathe as Tai Chi demands overflows directly into my hard form martial arts. Breathing was always discussed in Tae Kwon Do and therefore not completely foreign. With the addition of Tai Chi Chuan, breath began to give life to each technique; it helped me have better beginning, middle and end to all the techniques in my forms. Physiologically, deeper breathing simply gives more oxygen to the circulatory system, and thus more to the muscles doing the work. So with the habit of better breathing in place, my sparring gained more stamina. In the words of Mr. Danny Davis, “You control your breath, you control your life.”

Deep, even breathing brings me to the next element Tai Chi has helped me with.


Tai Chi Element Two:
Relaxation

The slowness of Tai Chi is a key part of its lesson of relaxation. Tai Chi is so very difficult, with so many movements and techniques occurring all at once that even as slowly as the art is practiced, it still seems way too fast when first learning it. There are the proper steps, keeping an even head-height, where the hands go, the angle of the torso, what the next posture is, and what transition will get you there; a great many things to internalize and learn. Oh, and remember to breathe. Sounds simple; very few things have been more difficult in my experience.

With persistence, you find the relaxation that Tai Chi’s slowness teaches. Compared to Tai Chi, my Tae Kwon Do forms are much more straightforward and simple. Case in point, you can learn them in a class, sometimes two. Granted the finer details and associated bunkai of my Tai Kwon Do forms may come much, much later. I can still get the gross movements down more quickly. Once I became more accustomed to all the detail of Tai Chi, when I went back to my Tae Kwon Do form, I found so much more ‘time’ in the form. Learning to relax and become more mentally still through the complexity of Tai Chi has greatly improved my Tae Kwon Do forms. In Tae Kwon Do, this relaxation and this ‘found time’ allowed me to decrease any rushed feeling I used to experience. Now the forms have their own cadence. All has its own time. With practice, Tai Chi comes to have its own ebb and flow, like the tide of the ocean. I believe I found this same aspect in my Tae Kwon Do much sooner with the influence of Tai Chi.


Tai Chi Combination Element Three;
Strength and Balance

The physical demands of Tai Chi will strengthen any student regardless if this was an initial intention. When I hear people comment that Tai Chi looks as though it is not a workout, I know instantly they have never tried it. The postures require a great deal of strength to hold and move through. They also demand balance. I have found that you cannot attain one without the other. Balance requires strength of the muscles to hold your posture, compensate for instability in what lies under your feet, and be able to move through the transitions to the next posture. Strength requires balance to be able to have proper movement and stability. I have found that these two elements are inseparable in the practice of Tai Chi. This combination lesson has had great influence in my hard form. Strength and balance has improved all my stances, giving them more stability and a solid muscular foundation. That improved stability yields more power and intensity. With every step in one-steps, forms or sparring, I am physically aware of my balance in a muscular way. Each step or turn in a form now contains a choice of where my steps end. Tai Chi has given me strength and balance so that all steps are chosen and no longer simply fall where they may. Having educated my musculature to what proper balance and body alignment is in a kinesthetically, all my movements, regardless of what I am practicing, have much improved.


Tai Chi’s Elements Combined;
Softness

This has been the most challenging thing to learn in Tai Chi; softness. And, it will take years to truly wrap my mind around it much less master it. Its difficulty may possibly be because there are so many other lessons that need to find their place before the path is clear for this aspect to be internalized.

Initially in Tae Kwon Do, power and hardness accompanies all that you learn. As you progress through the ranks, the forms begin to require both slowness and speed, hardness and softness. Still, often times when you increase the speed, the hard power overshadows all else.

Through all of the elements of Tai Chi discussed here: Breath, Relaxation, Strength and Balance, the end result is Softness. Softness does not equal weakness, which is a misconception I have found that many people hold. Learning softness and translating it to my Tae Kwon Do helps with forms and sparring alike. Softness in my Tae Kwon Do forms has taught me regardless of the pace of a form; it still should have flow and constant motion without hard endings to each technique. With softness, the end of each technique becomes the beginning of the next.

I have found similar results in my sparring, along with fewer bruises. I feel that one goal of martial arts, regardless of which art you practice, should be to use your attacker’s force against him. If you meet force with force or power with equal power, the laws of physics manifest and you have an impact with the force or energy equivalent to both opposing forces. Softness allows you to redirect energy to where you may want it to be. If you give no hard power to your opponent, he has nothing from which to fight you. There is no fight if there is no one to fight with. So, with softness, I am learning to blend and redirect, not necessarily stop or end and attack.

In the words of Lao Tsu:

Yield and Overcome;Bend and be straight.

And

He who stands of tiptoe is not steady.He who strides cannot maintain the pace.


As a woman in the martial arts, this lesson is most meaningful to me psychologically. Since I lack the raw physical strength of the gender most likely to attack me, I must find another method with which to defend myself. I can be soft. I can also use my mind, the muscle Tai Chi exercises most exhaustively.

Instead of meeting force with force and using muscle, a fight I am simply not equipped to win, a small amount of yielding grants success. Being flexible allows for a straighter path. Resistance and force does not always succeed. Since my gender does not possess the greater physical strength in this world, seeing and learning a path that strengthens my softness is necessary for my success on a physical and personal level.

The strength found through relaxation and breath has done nothing but make my hard form more solid, stronger and given it a greater sense of control.

The improved breathing I have learned along with relaxation, strength and balance, all have helped me discover a path more quickly in my Tae Kwon Do that is both strong and soft at the same time. The equation of strength coupled with softness equals a different kind of power.

My hope is to continue my education in the martial arts knowing I have but only scratched the surface. As with any art, it is a way of life.
Abbreviated Bibliography

http://www.chebucto.ns.ca/Philosophy/Taichi/styles.html
Sun, Wei Yue; New Style tai Chi Ch’uan : the official Chinese system./ Wei yue Sun, Xiao Jing Li. 1999.
Tsunetomo, Yamamoto. Hagakure. 1979 and 2002. Translation by William Scott Wilson. Kodansha International Ltd.

After Three Years....2nd!!

The combined black-belt test was this past Sunday the 20th. Three of my school's students were up for 1st degree black belts and I was testing for 2nd. Scarey!

Happily, our students did very well and all received their 1st dan black belts! I received my 2nd degree as well. We all have sore muscles and some bruising to show for it as well, but no blood-shed.

My Specialty was on Tai Chi and its influence on my Tae Kwon Do. Below is a post containing my paper. Many thanks are in order for all the people who helped me along the way. Rest assured there were many that encouraged, told me the truth, listened and gave great feed-back. Not to mention those people who instruct on a regular basis.

I am in debt to everyone.
Thank you!

Monday, November 07, 2005

Motivation

Where does it come from and what is lacking when you don't have it?
Motivation....
There are all these verbal analogies for this materially intangible thing. Typically, these analogies are for one person to motivate another, not always to motivate one's self.

Build a fire under your butt.
Cattle-prod someone along.
A good kick in the ass.

So, really, what is motivation? Motivation can be defined as a concept used to describe the factors within an individual which arouse, maintain and channel behavior towards a goal.
This link goes on to describe motivation as "goal oriented behavior". But how can the same goal that normally motivates you or anyone, loose its motivating ability?

This is something I have struggled with recently and I am very curious about the whole feed-back loop that drives, satiates and turns off this behavior pattern.

What baffles me is how it can evaporate and how what normally you do willingly becomes a chore. What changed?
Food for thought....
If it motivates you!

It's Still Blue...

I have finally decided on a car, and actually acquired it. I bought a 2002 Subaru Impreza WRX. I have had the hardest time deciding what to choose, so many choices. I like the car research part, but the actually going and talking to the sales people...not so fun. I had a good experience at Randall Noe Ford in Terrell. No pressure, relaxed and they really don't take themselves so seriously. That was evident by the half-finished paint job in the lobby area ( bright yellow) and the sales guys running around in shorts.

There were a couple things that my garage found when I took the car for its inspection, so she is at the dealer getting these minor things corrected. When I get her back, I'll post pictures.

I did manage to get pulled over within 24 hrs of actually getting the car. Fun. Here is the dialogue that transpired:

Rowlett Police Officer (RPO): ma'am I pulled you over because your left front head light is out.
Me: Oh....I will put that on the list for the dealer to fix when I return on Monday. I just picked the car up yesterday.

RPO: Yes, I saw your paper tags, you still have 20 days, so that means you got the car....
Me: Yesterday, sir.

RPO: Well, you can have this back (handing me my insurance card), I'll be right back (leaving with my oh so clean license.)

Me: Heavy sigh...

RPO: Well ma'am, I will just give you a verbal warning, but get it fixed immediately because you can get a citation for that regardless.

Me: Yes sir officer, I will get a bulb and fix it myself. Thank you.

RPO: (Taking a step backward, looking the car over...) ma'am, there's a lot of engine under that hood, did you know that when you bought it?
Me: Yes sir, I was aware of that. But it's OK because I have a brain.

RPO: (With suppressed grin) Well, I wasn't referring to that, I was thinking of commuting and, uh, gas and what not.

Me: Well, I have virtual no commute to work, so it's not a big deal.

RPO: Well, get the headlight fixed and have a good evening.

Me: Thank you very much sir.

So, the question I have is.....
Would he have asked a man if he knew how much engine was under the hood??

Maybe I just should have replied..."Why no officer, I just thought the color was oh so pretty..."

Word to the wise, behave in Rowlett.